The Emerald City (WIP, updated 1/21)


This is great! But some of us have iron stomachs and aren’t very squeamish, so I’m not so sure if the mutant is the most repulsive thing I’ve seen. I’m a little unclear on the bigger picture, but I’m interested enough to stick around. Looking forward to more!

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No insult to your iron stomach intended, I was just trying to adequately present how gross it is.

And what do you mean by unclear to the bigger picture? Are there things i could go into more detail on?


I think he means the finer details, or describing the mutant further

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Perhaps. I wanted to know if there’s anything confusing or misleading that can be made more detailed, or if I don’t explain something well enough that it leaves the reader wondering what’s going on.


was anyone able to do anything in any of the combat situations? I basically tried to make a combat focused character and proceeded to fail in every possible encounter, get captured and then either freed by someone else or offered I job in exchange for my life. Is this how the story should work or am I incredibly inept? because in either case playing a combat character seems really frustrating to me.

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How so? Like, what choices did you make that ended up with you failing in combative encounters?


I took the ronin class at the start of the game and I have only seen a single brawling option (that didn’t result in anything, because it was followed by a gunslinging option), most combat stuff used the gunslinging option so I basically failed all combat encounters since the options that would actually save my butt were locked. Combining that with the fact that I have to fail twice (against the cultists for the first time and against the enforcers at the end) made this a very frustrating experience. When I lost to that monster thing at the end (I take it that as scripted too) I just wanted to restart everything with a completely different character, because if I wasn’t gonna take anything from the combat I might as well try to at least get some interesting dialog choices.

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Monster thing is scripted pretty much, yeah, but with the cultists you should be able to hold your own.

Did you have grenades with you during that brawling option? And what level was your brawling at? Also, what options that would have saved your butt, but were locked?


I did not take any grenades because I expected then to be based on my ranged combat skill and would probably be more deadly to me than to anyone else, but apparently I was wrong (like I said I was probably being absolutely inept). I had my Brawling at 60 and the only brawling option I had encountered was the one to struggle away from the cultists. since that option was followed by “lob a grenade”, (gunslinging 30) “go for the gun” and “surrender”. I picked the only option I had and lost yet another combat encounter.

Now I’m aware that it was literally just me being a complete moron, but it felt like I should have died 3 pages into this game and the only reason I kept going is because the game didn’t want me to feel bad about it and I have NEVER been so incredibly frustrated with a choicescript game in my life.


Sorry you were so frustrated, thats obviously the last feeling I want to illict.

Grenades and knives are important for combat, and not dependent on skill.

But yeah, had you used a grenade there it would’ve led to a brawling oriented fight. I’ll edit it for that to be more obvious so no one encounters the same confusion you did.

Also, there’s no death in the game, as i felt such things ruin the story, instead I’ve been trying to impose heavy consequences in place of death.


Man, the characters so far is amazing. I think I’m in love with Randall after just encountering him when he shot that guy. When Captain Marcus was talking about mutants, can’t help to remember X-Men.


A space(?)

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What about using the Space Needle - it is both unique enough and famous enough to allow fun shenanigans. It has an observation deck, elevators that fit your story and a few other features useable.

As @DireldaKitsune says - rain, clouds and the various things associated with the weather is quirky in the Puget Sound region. Instead of saying:

It would fit better by saying:

Also - look at the National Weather services for snowfall - the pattern of snowfall is not as simple as you might think; lots of local variation and for your readers from this area, they will have the fourth wall broken by constant inconsistencies.

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The talking ones a mistake, but theres no space in Randall’s line there to make it unintelligible.

Glad you like Randall, I have a lot of fun writing him.

And yeah, the X-Men references are strong.


The Space Needle plays another important role later on, so instead I think I’ll eventually just bite the bullet and write in a real, much taller building instead of the fictional South Tower. As Direlda said, there’s a lot of buildings in Seattle’s skyline that would fit the bill.

And how the weather’s written seems to be a matter of dispute as well, so I’ll alter it to be more accurate.

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Have you thought of adding a dialogue with Hades, we’re he senses you are an mutant, or adding an option to use the mutation?


I have, actually, and probably will add a little something in for both telepathy and precognition mutations later (there’s already something from the claws mutation). However, if I don’t do anything there, if both Hades and the character are a mutant he will recognize it, and react to it, at a later encounter. Dialogue with Hades would be tricky, as he doesn’t really talk so much as ramble, and he speaks solely in bible quotes. And as you can see when you encounter him, he immediately becomes violent and attacks you and Randall, so to get him to actually talk would be difficult.


I love being a mutant to be honest

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I thought it was a cool feature to add.


This is super cool man.

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If you let your self be inject by the Blue serum, will it actually give you super powers?:joy::joy:Cuz that’s the reason why I let my self be injected