You played as a “normal” person, that life turned upside down when you become kidnap after returning home. You are mistaken as Angel Winters, a fallen angel, because you look identical to them. After realizing the mistake instead of taking you home, they force you to help them find Angel. Who knew that finding you would lead to more trouble when Angel finds out about your existence.
In the demo, you get to play some of chapter 1 (1k words). Sorry if it not all that great, it’s my first time making a game and writing.
The only critique I would probably have is: after the charater creation, you seemed to rush the MC to get to their apartment garage. Especially when it came to their fear of something not feeling right.
I would say to get the atmosphere right for this part of story try taking inperation from some horror films
found: Next time Elijah, if you have a problem with it, then maybe you should drive yourself next time."(repeated word)
found: The taller one hurry to intervene be before the argument could get any further
found: “So Hanako, I was wondering who are we supposed to kidnap? I miss(ed) the meeting about this whole mission.” He questions looking at them both.(instead of questions use asked)
found: “Well, I’(m) glad you ask(ed), We -” She was about to answer before Elijah interjected.
found: I was snapped out of admiring myself by a voice talking. (instead of a voice talking , try ‘behind me’ or ‘in front of me’ or ‘next to me’ or ‘over my shoulder’) .
found: Blushing out of embarrassment, I hurry and gave her the items I had (remove out of embarrassment since the blushing is a sign of it . Also , Hand her my items would sound better) .
found: “That would be $18.11.” She said, to which I gave him $20 and told her to keep the change as I exited the store with my items.
found: Grabbing it, I check to the caller ID and saw my mom name.
found: On the drive back home, I was starting to become unease(uneasy)
