You and You (WIP)


#1

Before I begin:

I know that a little while ago I made a poll about what game I should make (http://www.choiceofgames.com/forum/discussion/796/which-of-these-games-should-i-make/) , then ignored the community preference (Servitude, followed by Summit 75) and announced I would work on one of the least favorites (Exotico Extravaganza).

Well I came up with too many characters and too few plot points, so I decided to start another of the least favorites (You and You)!

A link can be found below, but be warned: this is very early in the game. The reason I am posting it so early is so I can get some feedback on the following points:

  1. How does the writing feel to you? Specifically, is it too sparse and plain or wordy?
  2. Are there too many or too few choices? I realize it is a short demo, but if you have an opinion let me know.
  3. How does the concept of having a doppelganger make you feel? Creeped out? Excited? Anrgy? Confused?
  4. Should I include an intro?

Anyway, here is the link: http://dl.dropbox.com/u/121988927/YouandYou/web/mygame/index.html


#2

I think this is gonna be great.


#3

interesting.


#4

A doppelgänger would provide a potentially interesting unique and novel (romantic) relationship opportunity, especially if you allow for the player character to have a narcissistic bend to his or her personality in game.
It would also make for one hell of a potential partner in crime, if that is where you plant to take this game, especially if your double is a literal clone, reasonable doubt in one handy package right there.


#5

The concept is so cool haha, the choices so far seem good, and the writing style is fitting. Good job!


#6

The writing style’s a bit on the blunt side, but there seem to be a good amount of choices given the demo, and the idea of a doppelganger rather creeps me out.

On a technical note, when deciding to go to work and leave the doppelganger at home, the same paragraph repeats four times.


#7

Hmm! A unique premise for a game. I’d enjoy seeing where this goes.

The writing is minimalist, but I think that works. As for so far, part of me finds it amusing to imagine this character has just woken up having gone insane and is yelling at themselves in the mirror. =P


#8

Thanks for the feedback so far!


#9

Woot! Cooper & me will be the best Non-Brainwashed Corporate employees that ever existed! :smiley:


#10

This is a really neat concept for a game, I look forward to seeing more of it!

1-2. The writing and choices seem fine to me, but the demo is too short to really get a good feel for it. It’ll be easier to give feedback on that once there’s more written.

  1. The concept of having a doppelganger is kind of creepy. The idea of somebody walking around with the same face as me would weird me out, but I suspect I would be way more confused than creeped out if I was introduced to my doppelganger the same way the pc is. Confusion seems like the most appropriate immediate reaction in that scenario.

  2. I don’t think an intro is necessary because I like that the story immediately throws you into the middle of the mystery. It might be a good idea to let people get a better feel for their character (appearance, background, ect.) through a flashback to the previous night as they try to work out what happened, or by examining their doppelganger (example: “you stare at your doppelganger’s eyes, the exact color of your own. They are *insert color choices*”)

@idonotlikeusernames: Romancing yourself would certainly be interesting, to say the least. Or possibly having to compete with them for your love interest, if your doppelganger decided they liked them too (threesome, perhaps? :wink: )… it could lead to some really interesting conflicts, as well as opportunities to cause some chaos.


#11

This must be what’s it’s like to be a new born kitten looking into a mirror for the first time.


#12

I think that your Doppelgänger should probably give in to what you don’t (as far as personality) I.e. you prefer good people the doppelgänger should maybe prefer bad people (romantically)(and when I say good I mean nice, and bad I mean naughty) it would be interesting to see what where to happen if you ended up both bringing a love interest home and the next day the doppelgängers love interest thought you were them and then your love interest could be like wtf.


#13

@TheFateReaper good point- people might mistake you for your doppelgänger, and vice versa. A bit like in the film ‘The Island’…The tastes in women could be a good idea, as well :smiley:


#14

@idonontlikeusernames That (narcissism) is something I definitely want to play with in the story. I hadn’t thought of the crime option, but I really like it.

@13ventrm Fixed the paragraph, and thanks for the feedback

@Eriedanna Thanks for the in-depth feedback. I wasn’t sure whether or not I should even include appearance because when I did try to put that in the options seemed endless or restrictive, if not both, but I’ll try to figure something out. The next response should interest you as well.

@TheFateReaper I’m not sure whether the story will be driven toward competing for a love interest or having different ones, as I haven’t worked out that mechanic yet. I could have both be options, depending on your Cooperation vs. Competition stat combined with other choices.


#15

Looks awesome, looking forward to next bit. Write faster!


#16

Can I fight myself… I would win… Not him me but me me. The original me. Not original him original me who he copied. I would fight differently then normal. Then again he would too… Quite a conundrum. Good thing my friend agreed if I am ever cloned he will shoot all of me including me. I mean just 5 of me could take over Alaska…


#17

Hihihi… romance with yourself…


#18

oh god , is that worse than insest… :0&


#19

GUYS ITS TOO LATE I HAVE BEEN CLONED. I WILL DO MY BEST TO STOP THEM BEFORE THEY RAMPAGE.


#20

Nah, incest is worse.

Me: “Heyyyy, sexy lady.”

Other me: “…”

Lol xD