No problem. I’ll add more to them on later drafts. Thanks for the suggestion!
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Good eye! I’ve fixed it . Thanks!
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Loving how this WIP is turning out!
Will we be able to customise our god more, Iouls love to have the option to have my god be a animal!
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I’m delighted to hear it.
That would be cool. Thus far I’m trying to keep the city creation part relatively fast, but maybe I’ll find a way to integrate choices about the details of the patron and his/her/their worship later in the game.
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I saw that you’re trying to streamline the stats page, which is great because even though all that information is important, it really can be overwhelming for a first time player.
My suggestion would be to use hide most of the stats at first, then slowly allow the player to unlock and understand them over the course of the first chapter. This would also require some restructuring and additional padding to what you have now, but I really believe it’ll help alleviate a good chunk of the issues you might have.
Let Reputation and Ured Overview be the only stat pages available at the start of the game.
I would also suggest padding out the introduction way, way more. As it stands, the narrative of the game is so bare bones that the player can imagine the setting to look like a 15th century Italian duke’s estate and there would be very little to contradict that assumption. So far, the game just doesn’t feel like it takes place in Ancient Mesopotamia, we’re told that…eventually, but this is something that really should be established from the start.
I was thinking that perhaps there should be some sort of daily ceremonial procession that the ruler of Ured has to do to sit down on the throne and listen to complaints.
More details on my thoughts regarding a new opening scene
Perhaps have the MC getting ready, attended by servants of the same gender (gender choice). Maybe the dress code for servants is a choice that doubles as the choice for Ured’s primary sphere of dominance.
So a militarily-focused Ured has servants who are dressed nearly as soldiers, who carry weapons at all times. An economically focused Ured has servants dressed splendidly in gold and other finery to show off wealth. A culturally dominant Ured has servants dressed beautifully with many colors, maybe only the most beautiful are allowed to serve the ruler? A technologically focused Ured would have servants dressed simply because their main focus lies in innovation rather than fashion.
A secondary choice would have the ruler reflect on the sub-specialty of this primary focus.
Then, the ruler takes in the decorations of the palace, and the narrative presents a second choice for Ured’s second-most important trait.
An economically dominant Ured would have a palace that has gold, silver, jewels everywhere, and then the second choice would be if the palace is: intersped with murals (culture), a technological marvel in and of itself (technology), or doubles as a fortress (military).
A culturally dominant Ured would have art and books just littering around the palace: along with gold or silver items (economic), which is a technological marvel in and of itself (tech), or doubles as a fortress (military).
So on and so forth.
And again, a choice after this would allow the ruler to reflect on the sub-specialty of the secondary sphere of influence.
Then a third choice would be for who is waiting in the throne room.
Militarily and economically dominant Ured would have mostly soldiers and merchants waiting in the throne room, but the ruler also sees: some civil servants (tech), a few musicians playing for the crowd (culture).
A tech and culture prominent Ured would see mostly civil servants and bards play in the throne, but the ruler also sees: some soldiers (military), some merchants (econ).
And again, the ruler reflects on the sub-specialty of this tertiary sphere of influence.
Then, a herald announces your entry (choose your title).
With this, you can lull players into a sense of familiarity. You can have the player actually make a decision or two that affects stats such as kindness, piety, etc. Then, have player “reflect” on their choices and how their decisions so far are affecting things by having the next page actually be the stat pages, as not-to-subtle but still comparatively organic way of say “These are fucking important, keep an eye on them”.
Then when that’s done, have a third(?) person step up to issue their complain/make a request, and then have the old man interrupt. It makes for a more jarring and disturbing interruption than if the game just starts that way. The way it is right now, there’s no frame of reference for the greatness of the city that the player is ruling, there’s no inherit reason for a player to get potentially offended. We’re just dropped in with nothing to string us into imagining ourselves as the ruler. But by drawing out and fleshing out the city and the day-to-day ceremonies, the player will already be roleplaying, and the man’s transgression becomes more dramatic.
Afterward, to unlock Faction Overview and Faction Details stat pages, have a scribe hand in their very detailed report of all the factions in Ured, prompting the game to show the stat pages, and have the scribe give an explanation of everything in it (along with an option to skip, for those who already know how it works).
Also
It would also be a good idea to periodically (maybe once at the start of every chapter, or every other chapter) have the MC “reflect” on the stat pages, or the scribe comes in with a new report every few “months”?
I really don’t think you need to change the look of the stats, but certainly dole them out to be less overwhelming. Hopefully my suggestions help to make the stats more palatable. And I also hope that my narrative suggestions help in padding out the story so far. As I said, you have yet to really sell the setting so far.
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I greatly disagree. I quite often check stats, to see what changed when I pick some options (especially that sometimes some choices in games don’t really work the way you think they will). This would just make me click more.
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I’m sorry, I’m not entirely certain what you’re disagreeing with? Are you disagreeing with hiding them to begin with or something else?
And I’d just like to say, that I also check mu stats religiously when I play a game, so I know where you’re coming from at least.
However, even the stats page for this gave me pause. It’s quite a lot to take in at the start, and my suggestion is more for easing players in to understanding the functions of these stats than anything else.
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Yes, I disagree with hiding them. I want to see them from the beginning. Revealing them at certain times would probably be related to the time they are first influenced or something like that. For example: relationship bar with someone could be shown after the first interaction that influences it. Now I don’t know how the interaction influenced them. So I end up restarting the game clicking through all the way up to the choice, choosing something different, comparing stats, restarting the game, coming back to the first choice.
I doubt everyone is like this, but I like to exactly how my stats changed (if the game has an explicit stat change display choice, I always choose it. Otherwise, I look at stats after almost every choice.).
Also: I often decide how to play after looking at the stats, because it gives me this kind of overview of the possibilities.
Prepare his body for my dinner table. Tonight, I feast. Yikes.
Rulers have a Madness Reputation stat for a reason. I intend to give players the opportunity to max it out, the lunatics.
I can certainly see your point about needing to make the setting feel more Sumeria-specific. I definitely intend to work on that.
I’m fond of your suggestions for integrating the city creation into the narrative more directly. I had effectively intended to have most of the elements you suggested be reflected in the throneroom in the following scene, but building those scenic descriptions in directly into the city design might make for a smoother narrative. I’ll have to experiment with it.
That said, I’m rather stylistically averse to “padding.” I don’t want to have long sections of walls of text that one has to skip over in each new playthrough or choices that aren’t actually meaningful.
Thanks for the suggestions!
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Ahhh, I see. That’s fair.
I personally don’t mind padding because…well, what are books if not padding? 
But I understand if you don’t believe it translates well into an interactive game.
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This sounds really interesting. By the way, may I suggest going with Sleepwalking Into Ruin as your title? It’s more searchable and also really intriguing, in my mind. Just a thought!
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I meant to reply to this earlier, but it kept slipping my mind.
I suppose that it is more catchy and evocative.
My only reservation would be the concern that on its own it the phrase might make the ruin seem inevitable, whereas here it’s possible (though difficult) to avoid catastrophe.
True, though you could say the same thing for The Collapse. Whatever you go with, though, the story itself sounds great.
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I suppose that’s entirely fair.
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interesting setting for game and seems pretty cool.
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Seems like an interesting and fun story. Can’t wait to see more.
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It is refreshing to have gone through a WIP such as this one, with this site lacking in any potentially good political and ruler styled playthroughs to-date.
Keep up the good work, and can’t wait for future updates 
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This looks to have mighty potential. From dealing with a blasphemer’s senseless cries (I had his tongue removed, then ordered him thrown into the hole. I also enjoyed the option to feast on his corpse. Roleplaying a cannibalstic king would be fun), to choosing my own God, to specifying my great spy network. This truly made me feel like a ruler. I absolutely cannot wait for future updates.
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