The Ballad of Devil's Creek (WiP) (CH6 Up, Major Update: 09/03/2021)

The West is Wild and the West is Weird.
Take up the role of an outlaw who gets wrapped up in an adventure of a lifetime.
Face bounty hunter, ghosts and a doomsday cult as you travel cross Old West, trying prevent the end of the world at the hands of eldritch horrors.

LINK TO THE WIP GAME

Official Development Blog

Official Tipeee (That’s a european Patreon Clone, because TAXES. If you want to support this endeavour)


Stats:
Current word per playthrough: 67k. (147k with code total)

Playable characters:
One.
Can be Cis, Trans, Non-Binary and Genderfluid.

Romances:
Currently 9.
Open to all genders.

Current ROs

Charlie Mulligan: (Cis Man, 39)
Your oldest friend and partner in crime.

Seán O’Brian: (cis man, 28)
A loudmouthed grifter Blayne placed in your posse.

Tommy Burke: (cis man, 29)
An arsonist who was meant to be hanged in New Hamelin. Seán’s lover.

(Note: Seán and Tommy can only be romanced together)

Lian Meadows: (cis woman, 35)
A widowed doctor and sharpshooter. Doesn’t seem to like you. Doesn’t seem to like anyone.

‘Preacher’: (cis man, around 40)
A mysterious masked gunslinger you encountered in New Hamelin.

Florence Beauchêne: (cis woman, 27)
Robert Brightwell’s fiancée who tried to kill Seán.

Giles Lynwood: (cis man, 43)
A Pinkerton Agent who’s investigating the murder of Robert Brightwell.

Josie McKee (cis woman, 39)
Old friend of O’Reilly, runs the saloon and bordello in Potter’s Springs.

Therese Lynwood (cis woman, 37)
Lynwood’s younger sister who joins the group out of worry for her brother.

Warnings:
Alcohol, Guns, Smoking, general, genre typical violence, swearing. Mentions of death and bigotry.

Please note:
One of the characters is seventeen years old, so please don’t request him as an RO.


Yes, I am back with a Weird West adventure. This is the project that has very much taken over my mind, and I just got the first chapter finished.

Enjoy.


Update-Log:
09/03/2021:

  • added chapter 6
  • various bug and prose fixes.

08/03/2021:

  • added Ch5 added.
  • added horse-customization.
  • added first chance to start a romance.
  • various bug-, typo- and continuity fixes.

Update 07/03/21:

  • Added Ch4
  • Introduced two more ROs: Florence Beauchêne and Preacher
  • Switched Town names (Please check if the continuity between ‘New Hamelin’ and ‘Clementsburg’ is correct
  • Added one new achievement (move the other previewed one to ch5)
  • Various bug- and continuity fixes

Minor Update 06/13/21:

  • Fixed some minor bugs
  • added option to say whether or not the MC drinks alcohol
  • added option to play a little prank on Seán when you first meet + setting your pronouns title and address anew after that
  • changed one of the possible first names to not clash with the horses.

06/11/2021
Uploaded Ch3.
Various Bug- and Typo-Fixes.
Added Horses.
Added the 1st Achievement.

05/05/2021
Uploaded Ch2.
Added new interactions to CH1
Added new names.
Fixed a bug with verbforms if the MC is genderfluid.

04/19/2021
Minor Typo and formatting fixes
Added options and descriptions
Added save function

04/15/2021
Minor Typo Fixes
Some rewording to make options clearer
Added a description for Charlie
Some clarification about what the city looks like and why.
Minor BugFixes. You can now enter a new title and address if you play as genderfluid.

04/14/2021
Opened Thread


What I am looking for:

Feedback on consistency and general story flow, if the characters are interesting and where you hope the story will go.


Extras:

Portrait of Charlie

Portrait of Seán

Portrait of Tommy

An Overview Of Horses

Charlie:

Wicklow, male Frame Overo Paint Horse. Skull and ribs like markings on his head and chest.

Seán :

Polina, female Grulla Blanket Appaloosa

Tommy :

Bullsnot (The hate is mutual), male Silver Dapple Morgan Horse

Finley :

Caboose, Male Buckskin Missouri Foxtrotter

Mrs. Meadows:

Yun, Male Bay Morgan Horse

Florence:

Indian Summer, Female Amber Champagne Missouri Foxtrotter

’Preacher’:

Misfit, Male Seal Brown Morgan Horse

Lynwood :

Nettie, Female Grey Missouri Foxtrotter

356 Likes

Consistency: I find the story to be a little inconsistent. All in all, the worldbuilding feels a little off. I feel that can be boiled down to the odd depictions of a western town (art gallery, for one) and how it feels like everyone is Irish.

Story flow: I like the overall story idea a lot. As something to read though, it’s very intriguing and quite good. The issue I see is that the story is A) fairly linear and B) the MC’s every action is at the behest of other characters. They don’t drive the story for themselves at all.

Characters: this is what the story does well. All of the characters are people I like interacting with and people I’d like to know more about.

Where will the story go: at this point in the narrative, I’m waiting for further development before I consider alternatives.

11 Likes

Thank you.

To address some things:
New Hamelin is a prospering town that is very much more of a ‘east coast’ town than a frontier outpost. I’ll see about better descriptions?

As for the characters: Charlie, Seán and Finn are Irish, maybe that’s where the feeling comes from?

2 Likes

Oi @MeltingPenguins


end

3 Likes

Thank you. Noted :slight_smile:

And when detectives come asking for Seán

Have ya? you asks.
it’s, you ask.

3 Likes

Are ROs are gender-locked?

As of now, yes.
Seán, Charlie and Mrs Mutton have def set genders, as have the two yet-to-appear ROs.
There might be one RO where you can choose their gender down the line.

Mrs Mutton is married?

And lol I might be going crazy but there’s a choice when Seán calls MC Mrs. Mulligan to correct him. Mrs is right but the rest isn't. Does that means MC (only tried female route) is or was married?

2 Likes

Mrs. Mutton was married (I think it’s mentioned in the text?)

And Seán is (as such) simply mistaking the MC for being married. He’s an excellent grifter, but not the sharpest knife in the drawer. But yes, you can have it that the MC is/was married

So can play as married MC? That’s new. I haven’t read completely but is it mentioned 'bout the spouse (lol my love for spoilers is gonna anger someone someday :joy_cat::smile_cat::smirk_cat:)?

2 Likes

No mention of a spouse yet, but if you play as married you’ll get the option to pick what happened to them down the line.
(Though it will be limited as you’re an outlaw after all, so it’ll be ‘widowed, divorced, ran away’)

7 Likes

I am not writing a formal gameplay thoughts thing until morning, but as a non-binary person I have to ask:

What does this mean???

2 Likes

The first option equals to being nonbinary (with male/female being heads or tails).

The second option equals to being genderfluid (with April’s weather changing a lot based on the context).

9 Likes

“What does this mean???” is verification that it is in fact authentic western slang if there ever has been :joy:. Though I too am confused.

2 Likes

Hello!
Quite a bold and interesting premise you got going on over here. The take on Wild West × eldrtich horror although being an untapped subject more often than not, is quite interesting and appealing to me as a reader. The wording throughout the story was just how you expect it to be in the ol days of wild west. The pacing and immersion of the story did pick up after the art gallery scene. However, when we first met O’Brian, the scene felt a little off and weird, if I may say so from an immersive prospect?
I have a personal curiosity regarding O’Brian, Finley and Berkleys nationalities though…if you could kindly shed some light on that, that’ll be great!
Also, considering, Mrs Mutton, Charlie and O’Brian I guess there’ll be 2more RO’s? Might I inquire about their genders? :flushed:

A couple of errors :


Threat


Also had people on your heels

That’s about it I think. Quite an interesting premise I’m looking foreward to!

1 Like

This has me a little hooked!
The concept of eldritch horrors with a Western theme is very interesting and sounds like a lot of fun! I’m excited to see where this project goes!!

As for feedback, I will say the pacing is really rushed. The first chapter feels really fast, like trying to stuff as many info as you can. It could use some work!
The world-building and character-building intrigues me, but also could use some work. It all feels a little off, especially on the characters. I barely got an idea of what Charlie looks like, so some work on how the character’s looks could be something.
The dialogue and the stats really interest me! It feels like it’s going towards a fully fleshed out character, and the writing really feels great! Really makes me feel like I’m in the Old West.

Overall, it’s a fun concept and I’m excited to see where this goes! But definitely needs some work on pacing and design.

Hope you have a nice day!!

3 Likes

I was confused about which country is it? I never thought people in old west said “bloody” this and that, or pronounce “my” like “me” and etc. Maybe it is inspired by the old west but they are actually in England or something like that? Here are a few examples

“C’mon, what’s wrong? Sure, neither o’ us is actually what they called for, but we did a bloody good job, now didn’t we?”

“Too much on me mind, I guess.”

"But I reckon that means we should keep an eye out for them bloody Pinkertons

4 Likes

They could be immigrants though? I doubt an Irish person would change their speech when moving to West.

2 Likes

Scenery and surrounding:I like the idea and the flow so far but i expected a dusty wild west town and Well a crappy hotel in a town with an artgallery. thats a big jump (maybe some more describing about the scenerie)

MC creation: For me Its very important to get a good feeling for your MC and get a picture of what your MC looks like.
i like the difference Between the options its Part of a dialoge so far thats good But. there nearly no Cosmetical options Like Haircolor so we Are a bit Faceless and Hairless concidering How Good the NPCS are Described. (so i bit more Love forthe own MC pls)

Characters:Very strong accent Espacally the MC Its a goodthing to make the nscs more realistic and give the characters some life but i dont know are they fromthe south or something?they absolutly dont sound Like Americans in the wild west. (so maybe you can cut a bit accent Here ?) The Brutal bounty hunter is absoloutly unfitting he is kind and Calm. i know he is badly woundet that could be a reason why he holds back but 1 moment you talk about strangle people and Describe a Efficent bountyhunter and Then you meet a nice guy who is not what you think. BUT EVERY CHARACTER IS INTERESTING SO FAR (GJ)

I hope i can help you with that feedback

5 Likes