After the response to my idea on the ‘Interest Check’ thread, I finally finished creating the first chapter of my demo.
Summary: You are an advanced AI placed inside a robot body. You were created during a period of great scientific advancement and achievement, but something happened. Instead of being activated by your creator, you lay dormant for centuries. You have been accidentally brought back to ‘life’ but the world you find yourself in is not the one you left. Centuries have passed and most technology has disappeared, having been outlawed by the Church of Preservation. Society has become something reminiscent of ages past. The people are scared of the trouble you will bring upon them, while the Church is obsessed with capturing you. The only way forward is to find out what happened all those years ago, and the only people who know want to deactivate you… permanently.
Progress: The prologue and first chapter are complete at 4700+ words. I have started working on the second chapter.
As far as feedback, please let me know what you think. I have little experience in writing creatively, so any advice/comments on plot, pacing, characters, etc. would be greatly appreciated. Other than that I am also new to coding so there will likely be coding errors here and there.
In anticipation of recurring questions, I have added an FAQ section.
FAQ
Can I be evil? Absolutely, there is an entire route through the game wherein you can live out your fantasies as a killer robot. Will there be romance? There is one secret RO planned, requiring highly specific choices. However, if enough people express interest in seeing a different character as an RO I will consider adding them.
Maybe you should change the word “world” and choose one more particular maybe “envirronement” or “space” or something else. If you choose the word “world”, I have the impression that we are observing the whole world and not the laboratory where we are. I think another one will flow better.
Maybe you should change the construction of this sentence, maybe to something like
" Scattered around the rooms, there are computers, machines and tables covered with tools." It would flow better, wouldn’t it?
Again, these are just minor things. The story is good so far
It may only be the start but so far I love it! Keep upgrading the story at your own pace, after all you don’t want to shutdown your story’s creative nexus.
Currently there is only one secret RO, mainly for story reasons. If enough people express interest in a specific character I may reconsider. As for your second question: Evil is relative, but yes there is a route where you can do something like that.
I have limited the jobs to four, one for each skill stat. So I won’t add another one in, the best I can do is change them. Painter for example is a placeholder until I come up with something better.
Thanks so much for the input. Will definitely change those.
It’s an extremely interesting concept. I’ve always thought as taking control as am AI character to be an interesting topic. I look forward to any future updates and seeing how the story progresses. Heck, who says a robot can’t feel emotions, let’s prove them wrong.
