Team Zero (WIP)


#1

Hi everybody! I just finished a chunk of the game I’ve been working on, and I would love to get some feedback from y’all :slight_smile:

Ten years ago, you lead an elite team who saved the world from a superpowered madman. The team broke up, and everyone went their separate ways. Now, you’re together again for the first time in a decade for the funeral of one of your own. The game is told primarily in flashback, as you slowly reveal who these characters are, how you’re teammate died, and what exactly happened ten years ago.

One of my primary reasons for writing this game was the opportunity to play around with narrative structure. The game doesn’t necessarily play out in chronological order, and your actions in the past will affect the present and vice versa.

I’ve had a blast writing this, even if I’ve only scratched the surface of the story so far, and any feedback on the story, characters, gameplay, grammar, etc. would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/86817576/web/mygame/index.html

New link at Dashingdon:

https://dashingdon.com/go/903


Best WIPs - 2015
Idea for vampire game- stat advice!
#2

@Dolphinzgirl Lol, that does sound like a fun diversion, imagine Movie Night with the gang! Also having written it I have totally fallen in love with the idea of Blighty Man being the name of an OTT Super Hero in the war years of my Silver Age Game idea, so thanks for inadvertedly helping with that.


#3

@trollhunterthethird haha I’ll try to soften the blow :S

@Dolphinzgirl @derekmetaltron sorry haha! I’m British thats why I said sainsburys but yeah it’s just supermarkets and stores. Poor poor Damon will have to stop shopping for cars at Ferrari… The HORROR!!!

Blighty man… I just love it. :smiley:


#4

Well done guys, now I also want to see a funny scene at a cheap mart. Who knows, maybe Damon would be surprisingly more at ease to navigate between the store aisles than the Main Character.

@vampierkid222 There it is:
https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/86817576/web/mygame/index.html


#5

@Dolphinzgirl

I can definitely see Damon opening up, but I think he’s going to be a tough nut to crack. So many of his answers and retorts seem like smokescreens within smokescreens. He’s fascinating and a testament to your writing; you’re making all of us so invested in your characters already!


#6

Link? And love the game btw


#7

@trollhunterthethird well done, I’ve never met you but I’m very proud! (Air Hi5) :smiley: =D>


#8

First!

I like the freedom of choice this game gives you, and the story line is intriguing. I’ll be sure to check on it to see how it progresses.

Also, for the choices, instead of a run-off sentence, you might want to try to add ellipsis (i.e. “…”) at the end of it.

For example, “You saw your water bottle was near the edge of the table, so you…”.


#9

First thought: When you put in the options for suit or dress, I wondered if there should be a drag queen option.

Second thought: I can’t take the PC being “Commander Shepard” without breaking into giggles.


#10

What a great demo. That was just a really good choice game. Well done


#11

Wow. I love this. Wow.

Honestly, I couldn’t rave more about how wonderful I think this start is. I loved the concept. I loved the choices. I desperately want to know what happens next.

It would be nice to be able to wear a dreadfully inappropriate, brightly coloured shirt to the funeral. I suppose that might not be quite in character though.

You should add your and Damon’s dossiers to the list of all the others if you ask for them. The way they were listed made me think that I’d missed out on reading all of the other ones.

I loved what I played so far.


#12

Very interesting, the set up makes me wonder how much of the game is going to be action adventure in flashback and how much will be social interaction in the present though.


#13

Why did it have to end!? I was hooked from the beginning, can’t wait to see what comes next.


#14

I notice that the Show Stats button no longer has a Restart next to it - is this the latest engine build, or you’re using a legacy version? Just curious.

Anyway, I’m enjoying the work. When I chose the somber dress the NPC regarded me as a Miss but narrative said my MC is a man. Options for first name showed up male.
edit - What I’m saying is, it’s either the ifs need ironing out, or if being transgender is actually an option, at least the narrative be quite clear & consistent about it. :slight_smile:


#15

Wow thanks so much for all the great comments. I’m really excited that people actually like this!

@Mystogan I’ll definitely play around with your suggestion. I’m not really happy with the way the run-off sentences look right now, so I’ll probably try a bunch of things to try and get it to work visually.

@Ramidel I’m glad the Commander Shepard bit made you laugh :slight_smile: When I realized that Lt. Commander was the rank that seemed to make the most sense age/experience wise for the story, I knew I had to make Shepard one of the default last names, especially sense most of the other characters’ last names are pop culture shot-outs.

@Luke Thank you so much! I’m glad you liked it.

@FairyGodFeather You are the sweetest! I wanted to add the dossiers to the list when you asked for them, but I wasn’t sure how. I’m a lot more comfortable with the coding now though, so I’ll go back and play around with it. In the meantime, I’ll make it clearer that the “I’m done reading” option only refers to those two dossiers.

@stsword I think it’s going to be a mix of both. I definitely want to include a lot action adventure stuff, since writing car chases sounds fun and everyone has superpowers so you might as well get some cool action set pieces out of it. But at the same time, my goal for the game is for it to be really character driven, both in the past and present segments. At the end of the day, it really is (hopefully) a game about who your character is, who these other characters are, and how you grew and changed because of your time together.

@FalconXCII It makes me so happy that you’re looking forward to what happens next, I can’t wait to write it.

@FcA I have no idea what version of Choicescript I’m using, I am very much not a programmer, so that stuff is all over my head. I’ve never had a problem with a female character being referred to as male, I’ll definitely check it out. As far as the first name options go, there’s only one list of names default names. I just picked names I liked from a list of unisex baby names. Now that I’m more comfortable programming, I can try and make separate lists though.


#16

This is amazing love the game and will defently watching this carnt wait


#17

That’s how I got comfortable with coding too. You should see the mess that my first game was codewise. There was so much I couldn’t do but it does get easier. It’d probably work best with a temp variable, and using an if statement on the last two dossiers.

So something like

*temp extradossiers

*set extradossiers true

then

*if extradossiers #Your dossier

Something like that. I did really like the game. I really enjoyed the whole storyline. I did find myself glancing at the stats and seeing they were all the same, but that didn’t bother me. Stats are the last thing which I implement and this is a WIP.

Will there be ill-fated romances?

Wait? We have super powers? Really?


#18

What superpowers does the main character have?


#19

The game is interesting and fun to uncover things involving the memory lane of the MC.

Also does the MC have super powers or no super powers since when you go through the files it says;

Name: MC name
Occupation: Lt. Commander, United States Navy
Last Known Location: NAB Coronado, California
Abilities: Weapons expert
Special reconnaissance
Unconventional warfare expertise
Small unit tactics

Perhaps your MC will develop the super powers when the plot develops more?


#20

Well this is pretty amazing! Good story its nice to read im really looking forward to more so keep on the good work