Embark on a fantasy adventure filled with swords, magic and camaraderie
Slay powerful monsters, deepen bonds with your comrades and save the world from ruin
Play as either a male or female Hero with several potential romance subplot options (all of whom are straight - at least as of now, although it’s not totally 100% set in stone)
Demo link: (removed)
This is my third Hosted Games project, and this time the focus is more so on combat (and characters as well) than the plot. Chapters 1 and 2 are more or less done at this point, but chapters 3-8 are still heavily unfinished, with mostly just the combat portions more or less functional. The word count is around 25 000 at the moment (roughly 50/50 text/code).
Here’s a list of my main concerns that feedback would be most appreciated about (although feel free to mention anything that comes to your mind!):
Any bugs / inconsistencies / typos / weird things that you find (there’s a lot of pretty complex code in this game, especially related to combat!)
If some part of the game feels too easy / too difficult / not very fun to play for some reason - especially the last couple of chapters may still not be very polished
I’m not quite sure what kind of update schedule I would have for this game, but I do intend to finish it even perhaps within the next 1-3 months, and possibly just update the demo as I write. The combat mechanics are pretty much finished now, as well as the main story structure, and what’s mainly missing now is a large part of the story content (as well as bonding events / endings / balancing etc.).
@Zaldath Sorry to say this but the beginning of this story is too bland. it doesnt give off the energy that is needed at the start. Not enough emotion to back it up (thats what I was looking for), if I were to place myself in my MC shoes I would be distort, quite emotional and afraid at this point. I’m more than likely wanting to run away from these people who just decided to move you from my current location.
Well, I do sort of agree. The average person would likely react much more negatively in that situation, especially after suffering amnesia and physical discomfort while also being (practically) forced into a very dangerous role.
I did consider many ways for the story to start and how the player character might actually feel in those circumstances. Ultimately I chose to use a pretty stoic/tolerant character like those you often see in Asian fantasy web novels. The reason is that I didn’t really want to focus on the player character’s own feelings, but rather on their impact on that world (both physically and mentally), and for them to be more of an instrument for the player to affect events (as a self-insert to some extent) rather than being a big focus in the story themselves.
I guess it is true, though, that they’re a bit unrealistically OK with all that’s going on there It might be useful to have some emphasis on the fact that they really don’t have a choice but to go along with it or to be stranded in a foreign world without any help. Not to mention they wouldn’t just be freely let go by the summoners. @Bulk_Biceps
@Zaldath Ah now i see where you’re coming from. Makes a lot more sense. Also one more small issue, if im being thrown into a battle with monsters. How come there is no weapon to indicate that im able to defend or armour to protect my MC.
@Bulk_Biceps There isn’t any equipment/currency in the game, as your party is practically the most elite special forces team imaginable in that world, and as such your material needs are handled for you automatically (including weapons and armor). Really I just wanted to streamline the RPG elements to the really interesting core elements (level + abilities). I’m still not 100% sure how well that works out, but I guess we’ll see if people like the gameplay in its current form.
@Bulk_Biceps Oh yeah, you also gave feedback for my first project (Dawn of the Sol Empire) Thanks for the continued interest!
I suppose there was a bit of a similar issue there actually (heavily streamlined stats compared to more management options). I’m not sure if there is a right answer for how much streamlining is too much. Personally I really don’t like making many (especially permanent) choices early on, or at all, if you don’t have sufficient information to base those decisions on (without playing the game previously). But I do understand the interest in more customization/management especially if you like to try different things over multiple playthroughs, though.
The concept is interesting, but I feel like the scenes and interactions need more… Flavor?
This reminds me of those text-based RPGs in a way that makes me smile, but on the other side, I remember not liking those games because they dwelled more on the “battle” side of the story.
The introduction doesn’t give too many options for our character to react, as @Bulk_Biceps already said.
Character interactions left me scratching the back of my neck. I choose to go with Juno in Harvest Town, said nice things about helping her having her dreams fulfilled, but that woman suddenly confessing her love to me (in the second chapter!) felt too railroaded to my liking.
I understand that you’re focusing more on other aspects, but I think that one of the many points of writing CS games is a good narrative.
I see potential in this WiP and I will be staying 'round here as much as I can, but I think that having some flavor text and choices here and there won’t be detrimental for this project.
Great job with those complex mechanics, by the way!
It sometimes seems difficult for me to get my head out of certain modes. For example, for this project I decided to prioritize the battle system, and so everything else kind of had to adjust to it. Especially that bonding event in Harvest Town was… well… not really one of the priorities I had for the chapter, and it shows!
Originally I thought to only include the battles + main plot + a few side events or something, but ultimately decided to have some focus on the party interactions (bonding events) as well, as I think that would increase the interest for many readers. RPG group battles are a bit niche by themselves after all.
I’ll have to think hard about how to add more meaningful character “flavor” choices / reactions / interactions to liven up the story, instead of the story being only an excuse for traveling from place to place to fight. It does add limitations that the structure of the story is based around those battles, and there’s no real way to affect the battles themselves with your other choices (as of now), but I do think those aspects can be improved too.
Quick question, later on will we be able to like betray our comrades or just turn evil in general since we were only summoned to be a hero but we don’t necessarily have to be a hero, we don’t owe anyone in this world anything.
Also one more thing, should we able to choose our blessing twice because once near the beginning I chose war and again after being told the threats we’re facing
Also wow the interactions honestly feels like cheap and satirical and it also feels like instead of playing the main character, it is the third party that’s been observing from outside…
Concept is excellent and writing is good too but the writing method is too bland.
Ya I agree, I feel like we should have more freedom when it comes to our personality and our opinion on the whole situation. From example when we’re summoned add a couple options to how we react for the reader to choose. Do we panic and Try to run? Cry and breakdown? Get angry at the situation and try to fight? Be delusional and believe thay we were born for this and completely accept the situation
Vagran is LITERALLY and PRACTICALLY just treating MC (and everyone else) like useless crap after unnecessarily making them fight and MC’ reaction to that is either taking the blame or being indifferent…
And the reaction to dragging MC to a completely different and very hostile world (and the people that dragged them there are either ignorant to MC or hostile) is accepting… NO OTHER CHOICE OF REACTION AT ALL…
@Zaldath I get that you might have a specific idea of the plot and story and how it should go but you’re taking away EVERYTHING that should make it the INTERACTIVE FICTION in the first place…
We can’t even choose how MC reacts to getting dragged there or how MC feels to others treating them in a specific way… Like with Vagran for example…
Also for the love of devils, I can’t differentiate character’s genders half the time… I mean I know Juno is a female but it’s also a male name and is Minda (hope that’s the correct name) a female?
Wow did Gad indirectly told MC to accept Vagran’s hostility towards them? And why should MC even accept that hostility after getting dragged from their world involuntarily?
Firstly, congrats on releasing your WIP. I really like the turn based combat mechanic and I look forward to seeing what you will do with it.
Unfortunately everything else falls flat for me. Everything not combat related feels like a backdrop for the battles to take place and even the fighting lacks flavor. What I mean is that when I choose to attack a charging boar, with say, bladestorm it simply says; “You attacked the charging boar.”
I picked those attacks because I thought it would be cool to see them explored in the text. Like, “Your blade slices boar’s flank, leaving a bloody trail in its wake. It staggers back, shrieking in anger then prepares to charge again.” Or something that has to do with the powers given.
I understand that the pièce de résistance of this game is the turn based combat mechanic which is a really impressive piece of coding by the way and it’s perfectly valid to center your game around it. But when everything else is just…there it makes it difficult to have an overall enjoyable experience.
I really like the concept and I think you’re talented enough to pull it off. I hope you consider fleshing out the rest of the story, character interactions, MC reactions, and lore. It would make for an amazing read.
I agree but you shouldn’t forget that this is still an INTERACTIVE FICTION, it feels nothing interactive fiction more simple turn based game in the text form @Zaldath. I think you’re too focused on the idea to make it turn based combat game and left out the immersive story part.
@Hector_Lopez 1) Interesting idea to go evil/rogue. Hm. It’s not currently in the plans, but I guess in theory one ending could be like that too…? 2) Yeah, you’re supposed to be able to choose your blessing/Skills once every chapter to make it less of a punishing choice (considering you won’t really know how the combat works when you make your first picks).
@Empress_Nightmare It could be either priest or priestess if you’re talking about a female priest. I chose priest here to emphasize that the high priest doesn’t necessarily need to be female, and the role is the same either way. Well, I wouldn’t really mind changing it to priestess if it’s confusing this way though.
I do see the point that currently the story isn’t very… interactive. I’ll have to think about how to make things work in a way that’s more enjoyable besides the battles too, and to have more freedom for the player to make progress in the story? Hm.
Love the concept, but I feel like this story needs more fleshing out. It looks and feels very 2D character wise(MC included especially) essential the interactions with those around us as well as the reactions we can give. So I’m not saying the story is bad I really to like it’s concept and your writing is also good, but you should probably add more emotional and life to the story. Because everything feels very unanimated at present. So yep… that’s my opinion, but please don’t take my words to harshly cause the moment you flesh out those interactions and reactions with more emotions. We will get a more 3D feel meaning we will feel like the characters are alive and not robots and us readers as ghosts just sidelined for the show.
It might be useful to have some emphasis on the fact that they really don’t have a choice but to go along with it or to be stranded in a foreign world without any help. Not to mention they wouldn’t just be freely let go by the summoners. 
world both are called priest?