Song Of The Fallen WIP: Yet another Codex Entry posted for opinion


#1

Hey there! Welcome to my game, it’s been my obsession for the past few months, but I’ve stared at it for so long I don’t even know if it’s good anymore, so I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I’m especially interested in any feedback regarding the rudimentary personality system I have designed for the game. At this point I’d say it’s functional, but it needs a lot of polishing. My ultimate aim is to have you mould the kind of character you choose to play as you make different dialogue and plot choices, which will have relevance not only for you but for the story in a way I can’t really get into.

Aside from that, I guess just your overall thoughts would be invaluable. What did you like? What did you hate? What do you want to see more of? What do you want to see less of? Suggestions for dialogue trees or specific responses at certain points will also be welcomed.

Lastly, the game is genderlocked. That was a difficult decision for me to make as I believe in allowing the player to play as they choose, to the best of my writing and coding ability. I locked it for reasons that tie into the overarching story, the rules of the world I’ve created and way the narrative will flow as I have it planned. I initially said I’d change this if there was significant pushback (so far there hasn’t been any at all, which is great) but unfortunately I don’t think I’ll be able to do that anymore. My reasoning on this will become clear as the story progresses, so if it really bothers you, I hope you’ll stick with me! I really do want to be inclusive, but I also want to do what’s best for the story I wish to tell.

Link Updated, Version 2.1:

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/s/nsnhwx7pp9gggwp/SongOfTheFallen.htm?dl=0

Where we begin:
Our story begins 6 years after the Sundered War, a raging worldwide conflict which scarred the earth. At its end an agreement was formed, the Rites of Unification which tied the Fourfold Nations as one, united that such a war may never happen again. You play a young boy in a town called Prairie. Your father died in the war as a conscripted soldier and your mother spends her days waiting for a return that will never come.

But the world is still a fractured place. Peace might reign, but it settles uneasily and old wounds have yet to heal. Change is coming, and with change comes the price of death. Death of the old way as a new one enters, and a song that was once lost, sings a new tune.


Othandi Khile's Song (WIP) - (10th November 2016)
Which WIP would you bring back from the dead?
#2

@Left4Bed I really liked the game so far,and the way the codex explains the war really tells you why those people hate certain things.But what’s the MC supposed to do in the story,are we gonna be one of the Chosen ones like that Sister,or something else?


#3

I’m working on an update that’ll take you to the point that makes the immediate conflict a lot more clear. You do become one of the Chosen Few though, yes.


#4

This is very interesting so far, really like the story, setting and the characters


#5

It’s good, it has a very wheel of time feel at the beginning.


#6

Ahh, I am in love with this story. :kissing_closed_eyes:
I love the character interactions, the many dialogue choices that give us a chance to create our own personality. It feels so interactive.
The story doesn’t feel rushed either, its like watching a movie and getting to slowly learn more about the world and the people in it. Ehren is my favorite by the way.
I can’t wait to see where this story goes. :relaxed: :two_hearts:


#7

It’s crazy that you’d say that, WoT was actually a pretty big inspiration. My initial plan for where the story goes early on parallels the beginning of Eye of the World somewhat. Also, the role of the Chosen Few is similar to that of the Aes Sedai, at least in a political sense.


#8

Thank you! The dialogue options have been a real headache, but I’m excited to polish and refine the system as I think it still needs a lot of work. My plan is to have your dialogue choices affect your traits and your action choices I.e. do you choose to help someone or not, affect your disposition. I haven’t really worked with the dispositions much as I’ve been focusing on the dialogue, and tbh I’m not really happy with the ones i’ve listed.

I’m really glad you like Ehren! His relationship with your character is really important so I’ve been trying really hard to cement that friendship.


#9

I loved every word! It’s very well written, quite poetic, I must say. A level above almost every other game I’ve seen around here. Excellent work! But to know that the MC will be one of the chosen, makes me a bit sad. By the way things are going, I was expecting Ehren to be taken by the monk and the MC to… be something else. I don’t really know, haha
Oh, could you add an option in where we like girls, but aren’t interested in Ehren’s sister?


#10

Thank you! It’s such a relief to see you say that, I was really concerned my writing style might be too alienating. The way in pacing it is also very slow and deliberate, many of the CoG’s I’ve played have put you in the action seat quite quickly, so I was worried my drawn out approach might bore people.

Sure, I could add that in. I get that no one likes to feel forced into a RO so I’ll be sure to tweak that in the update. Regarding being one of the Chosen, all I’ll say for now is I never mentioned who Chose you…


#11

Ha, I knew it! Or do I not? So many possibilities, haha. Please, don’t rush the history. I find it so annoying when it goes like “BUM, YOU’RE THE PROTAGONIST! GO KICK EVERYONE’S ASSES” the way the history is going now is making me really get into it, to have a chance to know the characters. I dare say it’s one of my favorites yet


#12

Your writing style is amazing, I cannot stress this enough. I can picture everything so well in my head, it is one of the most well written WIPs I’ve come across. and I cannot believe how quickly I got attached to this characters. I already teared up after the MC comes home and he has the option to just hold his mother, then he sings her the song. The reading of his future and the person he comes across in the field gave me goosebumps. Seriously, keep up the good work!


#13

Thank you so much! I was actually feeling a little down, staring at all I’d written and hating it, so it’s reassuring to know I haven’t wasted the last two months of my life. I’ll be sure to work on an update as fast as I can! I’m excited to introduce more of the world and characters I have swirling in my head; he said, trying not to sound like a crazy person.


#14

So far, sooo good. This is one of my favourite WIPs right now.


#15

I have only one Complaint so far and that’s the three choices that you get with your friends sister.I would prefer not having to choose to be gay or bi to stay out of a love relationship with her.but outside of that I’m enjoying your writing style and agree that’s a powerful scene holding your mother and singing to her.also like how you can choose to make your mc to be one of anger but still move forward.and also that the sword burned you a nice change of pace instead of the whole it’s been waiting for you the Chosen one setup.best scene so far was at the end of the Vision…and it was Glorious


#16

Really do love the WIP just wish there was more detail to the town your in or to describe the characters more thats all but I guess I’ll have to read the codex for that. Love Aviah as a RO choice she’s like te cute little sister keep up the great work!


#17

Thanks! I was actually planning on making the section in Prairie (before the inevitable thing happens) a lot more drawn out. But I’m concerned that players will grow bored with all this build up, so I’m doing it in a way that lets you decide to spend a little bit more time in the town.

Basically at the Call you’d notice that there are four potential paths you could have taken (with only the Seer’s Tent currently functional). My plan is to allow you to go home and further the plot after taking any two of them. Should you choose to do all four, you’ll be given a lot more context to the world, as each path introduces you to some of the characteristics of each of the Fourfold Nations, as well as a bunch of inter-character interaction. In one case you get introduced to a character that will be important down the road, but might be a stranger to you if you went with the streamlined option.

The Codex will be a great source of knowledge, but important information will also be revealed through the game itself. My intention is for someone who doesn’t necessarily want to go through the effort of rifling through the Codex and instead just wants to play the game, be given enough information to understand the world, it’s people and be able to make informed decisions. For those who do dig through the Codex though, the mechanics of the world will hopefully be a lot more fleshed out, with benefit of added context and history.

Right now, I’m working on an update that will take you to a point that makes the immediate conflict and story arc, a lot more clear. I also want to add entries for each of the Nations into the Codex, and maybe try to get a basic version of the relationship system I have planned working.

As of right now, I’m almost done with the Seer’s Tent path and started with the Seaborn path. Once I’ve finished all four and polished up the Call, there’s two big scenes I need to get done, then I’ll post an update.

Sorry for the long reply.


#18

nothing wrong with the reply lenth and looking forward to the seaborn part.


#19

That’s nice good enough information for people who want to play the game and for people who read the codex and that’s great actually you can pick all 4 options and do them all I thought it was like other WIPS where you only do one of the options and then continue on that’s good. Can we spend individual time like before going home to meet somebody else or spend more time during the festival.


#20

By individual time do you mean away from Ehren and Aivah? I had no plans for anything like that, but I suppose I could at least put in an option that you could choose to take in perhaps one instance, I’ll give it some thought. I do want to allow you to interact with a few other members of town, to build that sense of home and camaraderie. I just need to figure out a neat way to do it that doesn’t get me bogged down with pathing. I want to move forward as quickly as possible, but it seems everytime I try to add a tiny bit of interaction, it ends up being longer than I thought it would be.