I’m ok with it chapter 2 will solidify whether or not I like it.
So imma just gonna wait for the update, all the while worry if your gonna focus on this one for a while or return to one of the others.
1 Like
The story so far seems interesting. I can definitely see this going in multiple different downward spirals. The personality of the writing is hard to place. I guess I would call it snarky? Cynicism? or just sarcasm. It’s an interesting tone when mixed with the kind of everyday lifestyle dialogue you’re working with, although I definitely wouldn’t consider it unpleasant. It’s unique in its own right, although I hope the personality doesn’t clash with your intention to make the MC a blank slate in its own right.
The choice on whether or not to smoke weed, for example, has options that are extremely specific, even giving justifications in their own accord, rather than the simple decline or accept proposal option.
I don’t consider this bad, but if I read the conversation correctly it doesn’t seem like the MC is revolving far away from already holding a distinct personality as its instilled in the narration without choice. I understand this mostly has to do with your narrative style, of which I do enjoy, but I think you’re going past the goal you set out here with the blank slate right now. I have every hope that can be mended, or the MC is given that distinct personality instead. Either one can work in your style.
That’s just my personal assessment from the initial read, sorry if it was overly long!
2 Likes
So far. The story is giving me a I know what you did last summer kind of vibe. It will be interesting to see where this goes.
2 Likes
I’m worried about that too. 
@LeoXII
Well, the funny thing is most of my games sit somewhere between a defined MC and a blank slate MC, so there’s always going to be some definition there.
I don’t like when the MC walks around being an opionless, thoughtless, stale heel of bread like in a lot of CSGs, the only exception being when they get a bunch of choices to clarify their stances. But that can get very exhausting very quickly and it’s a bit jarring because of the sharp contrast.
So I generally prefer to give the MC choices for to act towards others and how to solve problems, while still taking some liberties and adding more flavor that may or may not be exactly what the reader envisioned.
As I mentioned before, I also enjoy making more set MCs, but so far, that has only been necessary with my villain games like MMM or The Funny Thing About Nothing.
2 Likes
I personally think that instead a one distinct personality should be several same several goals. That is not only a way to increase replay value is a way to allow further player agency. If character has a totally set in stone personality player agency is by definition reduced so a middle ground could be interesting. For instance i am all for an ambitious pc focused in trying become rich and enter elite. Others would be something else entirely.
@Samuel_H_Young When i playing your games i have noticed that my character end acting far more submissive that i have in mind… and shy. But probably because i am the other side of spectrum so middle sounds like shy for me
I will plainly admit that replay value is never a big concern for me when I’m making my games. Here’s a post I made about this subject a while back.
It might sound crass, because it is, but I basically don’t care if my games are linear or if every feasible reaction isn’t employed in an option. As long as I have made an interesting story with strong characters and varied fake choices that allow the MC to react to characters and situations differently, I’m happy.
Like, Skeletons isn’t about ambition or climbing social ladders or becoming rich, so I’m not too worried about adding those kinds of choices in. It’s about a group of friends who accidentally kill a guy and then have to cover up his death. They need to keep their crimes hidden, all while struggling with the guilt and traumatization of the disaster.
5 Likes
That’s a personal totally valid opinion. However CHOICE of games not FIXED of games. If all variables and all concepts are fixed in a stone what is the point?
I mean i don’t see any of them as a friend. They are quite toxic and acting like rebels stupid teens planksters. A choice to hate them is a obvious choice to me because I don’t understand how anyone could be want be friend of them. For me role-playing is a key factor of buying the games if I found that all choices are exactly same with a minimum change I don’t see the point.
The chapter you has shown… Has no really difference in how development of a character in my opinion. Nor different personality. And no real choice to wonder how i ended with people like this as … friends? Very well written but as is at the beginning of creative process too linear. When several more choices and more flavour choices appear in place game will be far better.
But lol If I can’t say that they are not really my friends and my mother forced me go with them… there is no way for me seen credible I could get near of these people… But that’s just me.
May I ask how…? Aside from Gus, obviously. And even he hasn’t acted tremendously bad yet.
We already discussed how I was going to add more options to chapter one.
Tbh, this method is nothing different than I’ve done for any of my other games, except for TMB, which had hidden mini-scenes. It’s not like I’m making a drastic change for how I’ve gone about formatting my stories for the past several years.
2 Likes
Oh no i am not saying that is a change or anything. lol. And as i said this is really early in development to have a big array of flavour choices and different personal paths. I was talking about a general view of demo so far.
About characters i have a very distinct view of people and i am not compatible with many people. The caricatured writing is wonderful but tends to present people in a twisted light. Adorable for me Sound like a resentful hippie. Then gus is gross the others seem obsessed to be more jerk than the others or want bang everything around…
Fascinating view. However in character I don’t see anything that could empathize with them to point even considering be in same car. when they show their real personalities That would certainly change
1 Like
I get that. They have big personalities that make most people either love or hate them. But I was just under the impression you were saying they were wicked and evil or something.
Those are fascets of their real personalities, but like most people, each character is complicated.
3 Likes
Oh. No They are teens in a forest no Donald Trump lol. They are just like how was the program called Jackass? Those that do weird jokes and accidents in videos
Exactly. 
You just said
which confused me.
1 Like
I will change phrase and is a real language barrier… I was refering to like bad boys and rebel teens not like monsters or mobsters. I totally could believe they had the accident because they were recording one of those youtube video were they drive doing weird stuff
2 Likes
To be fair, you have an intense hatred for the majority of the characters in all my stories.
3 Likes
That is a really good stuff and a hint there is a great writer. English has modern era a problem that is want make all villains loveable and make everyone love all characters. That was never how it went literature. You have characters to love others to hate some makes you laughing others cry or othsrs just make you wonder. In Spanish at least in writing you are say to provoke emotions and feelings into people. Intense love. Hatred. Empathy mystery. Fear… Always you generate emotional reactions means you are a good writer. The bad writer is the one that doesn’t trigger emotions of desires in public. If you read something and you don’t feel anything That’s not art that’s a paper with symbols on it.
2 Likes
I definitely agree! I’m not salty or anything, haha. Thanks.
1 Like
I am saying that because I had that same conversation with many authors here. Some mostly youngsters. Felt discouraged but all the fact their characters caused negative emotions as Hatred. Fear…
When They should feel proud of causing those emotional impact into readers. But I came from a culture that is based in passion contrast of characters personality. And antagonism.
Anyone that has seen a latino novela or soap opera or The Mexican lucha libre stories where heels are as famous as face xould notice. So the cultural shock i had when people thought I was criticising @JimD for instance. When I was praising his writing skills.
1 Like
Not sure if anyone has mentioned this or not, but this part actually sounds a lot like the movie “I Know What You Did Last Summer”… or, at least I think that’s the name of the movie 
3 Likes
Yup, that’s the name of the movie and yes the general synopsis is pretty much the same.
3 Likes