I wonder how the guy who said that is doing now. 
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Surely such a holy person is happy they speared that knowledge into the people’s head
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I am imagining the same, no other more fitting to get my MC to go outside, touch the grass and socialize.
Even though my MC will grumble about it 
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Foul.
Tbf, the other guy said it too.
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This was a pleasant surprise for sore eyes! Particularly I enjoyed the options extended to us, especially interacting with Loran and Orion. Time spent in the village during the healing stage feels much more natural when it comes to establishing Loran and Orion with the readers, not just the MC and I enjoyed Loran’s company and person more compared to the previous demo.
I have yet to peruse through all the different shades that is MC however I appreciate the nuance that wasn’t there before for this part of the story. The previous demo was already a feast, and this one is smoother and more nuanced in flavored taste.
I’m happy there was an option to leave the village for those that have the desire to, it was an intense sequence and leaves me with more wonderment about this world you’ve crafted.
I’m gonna miss Orion…
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serious berserk vibes from the whole thing, from the grimdark world and gorefests to the tender moments with casc-i mean loran in between.
gonna have to deal with both that glorified cult and mc’s racist dickwad of a past life and personality before retiring and settling down tho there might be a lifespan difference problem but surely a master warlock can find a solution to that. awesome writing, keep up the good work!
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Hissing like a cat you’re taking to the veterinarian
I’m glad to hear that, these were a lot of the things I was specifically working towards and I’m happy I succeeded at some of the objectives.
Damn the narrative. Take care of your elders before they inevitably explode because you left them unattended long enough. Even if they’re not even half as old as you.
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How many other ROs will there be?
As of now, these ones are those I have planned for:
- Loran
- Visamere
- A paladin
- An investigator
- A nightwarden
- An assassin
- A rival
- A veteran
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i wonder what different will it make further in the story… between elf and dark elf mc ?
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Oooh, I remember reading this before! I liked it a lot back then, but this new teaser version is indeed even better! I enjoyed the new variety of choices, it really helps with the immersion into MC’s thoughts, and I also liked how much more detail and description went into the text compared to the previous demo version. It feels grounded.
I know you asked for our thoughts… But I doubt I’m qualified to provide you any kind of feedback, considering English is not my first language. I’m constantly making mistakes myself, so it feels awkward to correct others. Hells, I’m probably going to make a mistake in this text. And honestly, your writing is really good, there’s nothing major to correct. Maybe the only part where I stumbled was this sentence: “There is nothing to worry about, father is skilled, he saved quite a few lives here”, and I just had a passing thought about - maybe to reconstruct this to have less commas? Feels a bit heavy to say out loud, almost like the speaker (Loran) is rushing it in one breath. Maybe something like: “There is nothing to worry about! Father is skilled, he saved quite a few lives here”, and now it feels like the speaker paused to take a breath after the first sentence. More natural this way? I feel silly, but maybe it’s helpful? I hope it is.
Good luck with this story, and your other WIP! I like TWK too.
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You’re doing really well though, don’t downplay yourself I wouldn’t have been able to tell.
I’m not expecting technical advice from everyone when I ask for thoughts either, something as simple as “I liked this scene in particular”, or “I think this could work better another way”, or “I enjoyed doing…” or “I wish I could have…” is enough, I’ll take anything people have to offer.
I think it’s a fair point, I’ll take a look at it.
There won’t be a huge difference narratively, they come from the same place and have gone through the same things, but it will sometimes work to your advantage or disadvantage. It will play a role in some social interactions, the dynamic between a high elf and their peers isn’t the same as a dark elf and their peers at all and that will sometimes meaningfully change how you approach a situation.
The affinities for certain types of magic will also sometimes come into play in interactions.
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Hello everyone, just wanted to make an announcement that a more developed RO list is available on my Tumblr. Which I will also add to the main post of the thread as soon as possible!
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Hey everyone, this message is relevant for this thread as well so here you go
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The variable for “rage” doesn’t seem to exist. Throws an error after the prologue.
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Im getting this error
chapter4 line 2497: Non-existent variable ‘rage’
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I’ve made a full sweep and now everything should be fixed with no further errors. Sorry for the inconvenience.
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Sorry, but
chapter1 line 40: Non-existent variable ‘rage’
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Hey, just wanted to also peek in and copy and paste the error I got. Sorry!
chapter4 line 2497: Non-existent variable ‘rage’
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How are your even getting to chapter 4? I can’t go past the prologue…
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