Shadows of Azura( WIP) Prologue final (24k words)

Shadows of azura

Shadows of Azura

Unveil the secrets of your lineage and seize your destiny in a world on the brink of war.

In Shadows of Azura, you are a scion of House Eclipse, a family renowned for its mastery over stealth and assassination. Your journey begins in the heart of the Umbra Kingdom, where betrayal and dark magic threaten the delicate balance of power among the five kingdoms of Azura.

Features:

  • Navigate Complex Relationships: Your family is your greatest strength and your most dangerous weakness. Struggle with the legacy of your grandfather’s betrayal, endure the harsh training of your father, and navigate the rivalry with your brother, Moris.
  • Master the Art of Combat: Wield the legendary Nightfang katana and the Eclipse armor. Choose your path in combat—stealth, magic, or brute force—as you face bandits, shadowy figures, and ancient curses.
  • Explore a Diverse World: Travel through the haunted forests, vibrant villages, and majestic cities of Azura. Encounter a cast of characters from various races, each with their own secrets and agendas.
  • Make Choices That Matter: Your decisions shape the world around you. Will you be a ruthless avenger or a shadowy protector? The fate of Azura lies in your hands.
  • Uncover Ancient Mysteries: Dive into the lore of the Azura, Learn about the secrets about your family’s history, and the looming threat that could plunge the world into chaos.

Will you emerge as a hero who unites the kingdoms, or will you succumb to the darkness that threatens to consume all? The path you choose will shape the future of Azura in Shadows of Azura.

Play now -https://dashingdon.com/go/16412

Art

Seraphina Drakonis

Our MC

Knight Garrick

Family

Moris Eclipse

Lily Eclipse

Feedback since its my first game i would like all of you to continue to provide me with feedback about the game such as if you feel the pacing is bad or wrong pronoun usage etc so that i will improve over time and fix my mistakes.
Length

if you have read the game you know the lore is so big so i can work on this game for a long time , there are also a large chunk of game lore which is still not revealed so stay tuned

Ro's They will be revealed in chapter 1 so stay tuned
Content Warning

Adult Themes, Usage of Harsh language etc.

76 Likes

I enjoy the story I noticed there’s a problem with the female option the male options are working properly

2 Likes

Thanks for your feedback

1 Like

if you’re making changes to the code I am going to suggest save slots, its always easier to advance in the story as you put out new chapters if we have save slots. I’m waiting for the female option to be fixed to read the prologue but your description has my attention for sure

2 Likes

A bit early to judge but so far I like it

1 Like

Synopsis certainly is intriguing.

Noticed a few bugs, however. Most notable would be the fact that the “athletic” bodytype doesn’t give the intended stat bonus (code is instead directly displayed in the text), and it seems the choice of hair breaks the game (at least, medium and short hair all dispalyed an error message, haven’t tried long hair).

3 Likes

The link to the demo isn’t working for me.

1 Like

Yeah same

Demo is not working

its working right now

You have a save issue need to give your game its own save string your currently using one thats tied to who knows by this point many games lol will check out the game soon.

@XICOMC-34_Sarthak_Du. To tack onto what others have said i would suggest ether putting the option to set gender sooner or to change the opening bit so that gender isnt assumed for us.

Well, played the demo 'til its intended end.

All in all, I’m pretty interested. It’s a solid setup, we as players probably already want to murder two members of our family, and playing a ninja will never be not cool.

A couple of points who might be worth looking into (aside from mom assuming the MC’s gender before we get a choice, though to be fair, she might have been talking about our brother instead):

  • the exposition dump might not be placed at the best time; it’s a bit strange to have the MC’s mother biding her child farewell… and dumping a ton of lore while at it. Maybe have a scene with a tutor earlier, or save it for the time we’re at the academy?
  • at the time, it felt a bit strange that the MC reacts with gloom to the news they’re leaving the family nest, given how positively awful the brother and the father have been. It made a little more sense once we get more time to interact with the mother and get to meet the sister, but perhaps this place would be a chance to offer an option for the players to express how they feel about leaving.

Nonetheless, definitely interested. Keep up the good work!

5 Likes

Only two? Because in spite of how “loving” the mother is supposed to be, she’s right there victimising PC along with your dad, from my point of view. He’s the stick, she’s the carrot (and the “maternal love” feels particularly smothering given what the rest of your life is like and runs counter to the demands that you toughen up and be self-reliant, leading to more abuse from your father and contempt from your brother. She’s JUST as bad as they are.)

1 Like

At this point in time, it feels like reading too much into the supposed intent. Maybe she is indeed the velvet glove softening the iron hand. But we’ve seen her argue directly against the patriarch of the family (who really doesn’t seem to treat her any better than us). So sure, it’s not impossible for this to be a machiavelian act intended for the MC’s ears only, but right now, I’d say it’s more likely she’s, much like the PC, someone stuck in bad situation, with little power to change things around her.

Now, it is valid to point out that her method might backfire for the MC given how dear old dad and bro’ are, but saying a probably well-meaning but ill-conceived intent is “just as bad” as active abuse, and that the one doing so is deserving of murder seem kind of insane to me.

3 Likes

Out of curiosity will there be poly relationships routes?

1 Like

Im curious about the height the shortest person is 5’8??

1 Like

An abused person can also be an abuser in turn. By this point, there is no way that she doesn’t know that her actions to “protect” you do the exact opposite. She doesn’t need to be Machiavellian to be self-serving, particularly if she doesn’t allow herself to recognize that she is. She seems to be acting to make herself feel good about “protecting” you and is completely ignoring that it is and always has been worsening your situation. And because it has now resulted in your being sent away, that of your younger sibling as well (because who’s left for your father to pick on?) Willful obliviousness is neither harmless nor victimless.

That is an interpretation that has yet to be proven true. For all we know, things would be worse for the MC were it not for her intervention. And it’s hard to call her ‘self-serving’ when her one on-screen intervention decidedly seem to put her on thin ice with the father, with no notable benefits to herself.

3 Likes

I hope I don’t get to fight the thief I hope she changes her mind I actually enjoy her please don’t become my enemy because I do not show Mercy!

The prologue’s content warning has punctuation issues: a space where there shouldn’t be, no space where there should be, inconsistent capitalization, and a missing apostrophe.

“Adult Themes” is too vague a warning to be useful, and “Usage of Harsh Language” is similarly pointless without context. “Et cetera” has no place in a content warning. This isn’t an MPAA rating. This is meant to be a preface to the story warning vulnerable readers of potential dangers to themselves: descriptions of sexual assault, child abuse, suicide, phobia-associated objects like needles, blood, spiders, tight spaces, etc. In my opinion, you only need to include explicit phobia warnings if you linger on their descriptions or have them affect a POV character, not just make mention of their presence while setting the scene. Non-irrational fears like abuse or rape must be forewarned if present, though qualifiers like “past,” “off-screen,” or “references to [thing]” may be implemented as applicable.

On every page up to the fight with our brother–at which point I stopped reading–the narrative refers to the MC with a slapdash mix of male pronouns and needlessly capitalized Yous. It reads like an incomplete attempt to change a third-person story about a man to a second-person story about an ungendered character.

In a harsh, unrequested personal opinion, the names of locations and factions in your setting seem uncreatively on-the-nose. It was my first thought upon reading the thread title and contents. If these names are important to you as they are, feel free to ignore this criticism. If the themes they evoke are important to you, you could try translating or truncating them to/from another language. If all else fails, dressed-up gibberish might be put to use.

1 Like