Segregation/ Isolation - My first story


#1

Hey everyone, I’m a new member here at CoG and thought I tried my hand at making an interactive story. Though, there are two things you need to know about me first.

  1. I’m not a writer, I suck at grammar and English is not my first language. So don’t feel let down when you read my writing, because it can be quite blunt.

  2. I’m entirely new to coding, never coded anything before until now with choice script. I do however, know the basics and have already started with my game’s intro.

There now that, that’s settled let’s begin with the story’s premise. (Just a note, it’s still in its early stages so expect a lot of changes as I progress with the game.) You’re a spy working for a top secret agency called Epsilon. This agency is not government funded, and has no specific allegiances. Its main goal is to insure the safety of the world against war and terrorism… at any cost.

Your past has been erased; all details of you have been stricken from all databases in the world. You no longer have a real name or past. You’re only known by your codename, which you will be able to choose in game. Your life is Epsilon now. Its kind of like Men in Black minus the space aliens.

You are sent to a fictionalised South Africa, to capture a high priority target hiding there. He’s wanted for treason, and conspiracy. It seems like a simple assignment, or could there be more to this than the eye can see?

Now you’re not going to be a spy in the traditional sense like James Bond. In other words, you won’t be driving around in a million dollar car with thousands of gadgets. But there will be infiltrating military bases and embassies while posing as high ranking officials and such.

But the game isn’t going to be just about spying. I plan to add a management mechanic nearing the end of the game. But I’ll say more about that later, just have to test it out first.

So that’s the game I’m busy with. There’s still a whole lot of stuff I’m going to change in the story. For example the story’s name, I’m not dead set on it yet. I’m going the change the spy agency’s name as well. Epsilon is just a placeholder until I come up with something better.

So any comments, tips or criticism are welcomed and appreciated.

Thanks :smiley:


#2

I will help proof read if you like?


#3

Sounds cool I love a good spy story
You know you should just nix the agency name all together, like if its super secret it dosent need a fancy name, just call it the group or the firm something like that.
I like the idea of going to south Africa, outside of that movie, district 13 I think, you never see story’s from that location.

Lies, dead drops, lies, tiny silenced pistols, costumes, lies, moral ambiguity = Fun


#4

Hey man Just put it in our hands and well show you your errors and help you out! want to see the game!


#5

Sounds cool :smiley:


#6

Thanks for the support guys! I had to scrap my intro I made, felt like the story progressed too fast and that it was… immature in a way. But I’ve already rewritten half of it in choice script, and I’m pretty happy on how it’s going now.

@Mardam: Thanks for your support that would help me as sometimes I mess up my tenses and word order.
@Pale_Strider: That would make a lot more sense, I’ll definitely use your advice. I was thinking a long the lines of the Agency, but I think that has been used before. Thank you.

I’ll probably post a small demo later this week or next week. It would entail the entire intro, which is kind of just the character creation.

Also I plan to make two different stories, one for each gender, with the main plot staying the same with both.

I didn’t want to create one story and just change the he/she/him/her depending on the gender. In other words, you’ll get different choices, different people a different past different challenges and different skills. But the same endings, just slightly altered depending on which gender you chose.

A lot of work ,yes, but think of the replay value.

But thanks for all your comments I appreciate it.


#7

Some of us play women so that we can play ourselves, not so that we can play something in a different mode.


#8

@ScarletGeisha Sorry, I was just throwing around ideas, just didn’t want the game to be like Choice of the Broadside where the gender roles were just switched. Thought I try something different, though at least I haven’t started with that yet.


#9

You know I think you should include both options that’s something nobody has done yet
Have the 2 different story lines so both genders have 2 options of play

For instance once I attacked 3 larger guys in defense of my girlfriend (i got my but kicked)
But what if SHE attacked them instead, she could have but not everybody is a fighter now my first ever girlfriend she WOULD have jumped in

And your talking about a trained spy, female or male they could kick but
So like aggressive mode or low key mode or something like that it would increase replayability


#10

Hmm, that could work. Judging from decisions you made in the intro, it could change the game play from there on out in two possible ways and affect the story as such. Thanks I think that would be better than my previous idea.


#11

How about having multiple ways of progressing through the story, but letting the player choose which one they want to see, rather than forcibly assigning a particular path to a particular gender?

Just an idea!


#12

@Cansia oh god your back. Please don’t start this


#13

@Mardam, Canisa is being civil and I expect the same from you.


#14

I was just wondering about a spy game! I’m sooo looking forward to this!! :smiley: