Season of Shadows (WIP) UPDATED 30 Apr [Prologue + Chapter One, 81K words]

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I’m tickled pink by this demo, definitely have it bookmarked and look forward to future updates! I think the presentation of this is particularly strong to me. I feel we have all seen our fair share of western narratives with settings much like this, yet this feels much more closely tied with the culture and time than a lot of those I have read before. It’s very immersive and I’m excited to learn more about our bachelors! I wish we got a chance to engage with them a little more, but that is what future chapters will have chances for!

I’m also curious how the narrative might differ on the basis of social obligation, sexuality, and gender. I’m really interested to see how queerness will be handled. Like, I imagine that within this context that it will have an undercurrent of danger, and that some of the bachelors/bachelorettes might be in denial about their feelings/sexuality? Also, I found the opportunity to have questions a bout your gender, yet not having the faculties to explore that interesting. I’m excited to see how this all develops!

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The story has felt somewhat ‘on the rails’ in terms of the player’s choices changing very little and things just sorta happening in a wall of text format without much interaction during chapter one, though I guess this might just be to get all the character introductions out of the way-

As far as RO go, I do like Esther. I haven’t formed any strong opinions on the others yet, Alexandra seems interesting though.

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Thank you to everyone for their kind comments. Really appreciate it.

Haha, personally I like Christian most. Well, the version of him in my head anyway, poor thing hasn’t had much screen time. I’m glad you like them.

Give Quinn a chance next chapter. She might surprise you! Glad you like Esther, she’s a sweetheart.

Thank you for your comments. I have addressed the issues you refer to a few comments before. Right now I’m just going to do a quick sweep to correct pronoun and spelling mistakes, when I do have more time I’ll do a more thorough edit.

Thank you for your lovely comment. I initially thought this would be perhaps ten chapters, around 400 000 - 500 000 words, but with the amount of love interests and side-plots and social obligations and big branches, I don’t think that’s going to happen. The bachelors and bachelorettes need time to shine, and the nuances and social issues need their time in the sun too, and since there’s so many of them I think it’s going to be very long!

Thank you so much. I really appreciated your comments, they made a rather bad day much brighter.

Edit: I have changed the pronoun mistakes I could find, please let me know if you find more. I also added two quick options for MC to be more lady-like in two scenes (mostly because they were scenes where I was fixing pronouns.) I’ll do a more thorough edit soon. I do hope I haven’t mucked anything up with my editing lol. Please let me know if other issues crop up.

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Oh yeah I forgot to do the RO review, let me get to it:

Griffith Haines - like him so far, he seems like a good guy. He’s got a stiff competition.
Levi North - well, happy to fight him - it seems like a misunderstanding.
William Blevin - not much is known about him yet but he seems alright.
The Earl - looking forward to his Byronic bullshit.
Lancelot Linden - as a player I love him. My MC probably hates him. His Prince Charming from Shrek facade is likely hiding some kind of (political) danger, if I’m reading signs correctly.

Alexandra McCawley - queen :folded_hands:
Iris Bancroft - queen 2 but if I had to do arranged marriaged for my MC, I’m picking her or…
Lady Esther Daughtry - she seems very sweet. I’m almost concerned for her heart. MC is in similar position - sheltered a bit so this can go several ways.
Quinn Wallace - can’t say a whole lot about her yet.
FROs got an advantage over me so far, which is rare in IFs.

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Re: Lancelot, how can you say that? He likes puppies! :face_holding_back_tears:

Thanks for the RO review, appreciate it. I will try to tone down the campiness with the men just a bit in the next chapter (not Lancelot though), I think I was so excited to write them I made them into caricatures lol.

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not to be narcissistic but i kinda feel g takes the spotlight too much away from mc at times. we kinda feel like a sidekick to their protagonist. might be intentional tho, nothing wrong with that (plus i kinda get mcs passiveness in our impoverished/heartbroken state)

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Excited to duel Levi North. The idea of him challenging a woman to a duel, and then my MC taking up the gauntlet with a glint in her eyes makes me feel all giddy for next update.

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I gotta say, Lancelot makes me think of Sir Percy Blakeney…the Scarlet Pimpernel. If anyone is familiar with the play.

My official RO thoughts …

The Boys

Griffith - I love his sweet and supportive self. Love how he and the MC are just teasing and flirting in the park. I also love his protectiveness. I just hope he involves us a little more in his sting against the Marquess of Tisbury if we are willing. (and frankly, I have a major weakness for best friend romances :face_with_hand_over_mouth:)

Christian von Kessler - Probably one of two MRO I’m unsure about. It is amusing how bad his luck is, but his brooding into the distance and not at least looking at ppl talking to him was a little eh to me. Like, ok …yes…mister broody. :roll_eyes: Will see as the story goes …

William Blevin - The two of two MRO I’m unsure of. He’s rebellious and seems a caring brother to Esther. That’s all I know so far, so I’m least interested in him at this point. I just know so little.

Lancelot Linden - My second favorite so far, which surprises me. (I usually am not into flamboyant types) But I actually found him fun and interesting, along with the interactions between him and my gay MC. I also love the way he kept teasing, winking, and smirking at my MC. Definitely doing his romance after Griffith.

Levi North - He has my attention. My second weakness after best friends to lovers is enemies/rivals to lovers. I kinda liked how he was caught off guard by my MC being nice and asking him what was wrong. I have such a thing for grumpy tsundere guys who are soft underneath, so he might be my third favorite depending on how things develop.

The Girls

I usually play as a gay male MC, but I still have thoughts on the ladies (mostly non-romantic in nature)…

Alexandra McCawley - She seems sweet and doesn’t seem to deserve the hate. My MC is also considered ruined thanks to his ex-fiance, so he couldn’t care if dancing with her was scandalous. Cause she does deserve to be treated like the human she is.

Iris Bancroft - I like her a lot. Smart, witty, and a businesswoman. Plus love that she hates her dresses as much as we do. My MC is aiming to be a business magnate himself, so though he wouldn’t romance her, he’d love to have her as a business partner and friend. Would even ‘marry’ her.

Esther Daughtry - She strikes me like an adorable little sister with some spunk. I want to protect her and see her be happy. She has a new protective friend in my MC. I love the sweet lil sister types. (Lil Sister type as in, I wish she was my lil sis):+1:

Quinn Wallace - Gotta confess…did we meet this lady yet. I don’t remember her at all?

Everyone going on about the in debt family route, while I’m here all about the jilted ex-fiance route. :sweat_smile:

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Wallace gets mentioned once at the party, I think, she gets pointed out to the player and that’s it

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Good. I was worried about not remembering them at all. :sweat_smile:

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Jilted fiancee route! Funnily enough, both our MCs are gay too so it’s not like we were attracted to our fiances to begin with, but I guess spite has a weight all of its own. I think my MC is thinking of something more bloody than simply looking for a good match.

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It just really fits well to a gay MC. We had a good match as society expected with someone we could tolerate and like as a friend. Then we’re betrayed and tossed back like a sacrifice to a society that would destroy us if the truth was known. Though I do wonder, with my Aunt trying to push me towards Lance, if she might suspect and be a secret ally. :rofl:

Now I’m curious how the route differs for a female.

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This is so well written and I really look forward to future update.
As I played a gay male MC and straight female MC, it’s amazing to see your effort in making the story different and reliable based on gender and sexual orientation. Great job!

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Found a surename error and also a typo (I think it meant to be “my”)

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Playing both but jilted ex is my favorite by far. Playing a bisexual female who was unfortunately somewhat attracted to her former fiance. She’s not even in London to look for another fiance, she just wants a distraction in the form of pretty women.

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One question, does Esther have feelings for MC? Or is that just her way of being?

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Thanks again for everyone’s comments! I’ll get back to working on edits tomorrow, and then start on Chapter Two!

I really wrote him/her to be a kind of support for MC, and also someone who explains the who’s who of the noble world a little to the reader. One line where I can see G taking over a little is where he/she teases Esther about bringing a cushion. But yeah, Griffith/Ginevra is really not supposed to give that feeling. I’ll take a look and adjust if I see they’re taking over.

Hope you’ll enjoy the RO’s as they develop!

Edit: I kind of forgot to mention this, but William does have a bigger scene with you if your MC’s athletic. He also dances with an athletic female MC. Very niche, I know, but he’s initially only interested in MC if they’re sporty too. He wants a challenge.

Truth be told, I am writing her with that in mind, she has a small crush on MC. She’s really extremely sheltered and has barely met anyone outside her family and servants, and right now she thinks MC’s nice and cute/compelling. (You’ll have the choice to make her think you’re not so nice after all too.) She’ll never do or say anything unless MC reciprocates the feeling. But you can also just read her as shy, because she is (just not around William.)

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Okay, small update.

I have paid attention to critiques (hopefully) and added a few more choices to Chapter One (around 2000 words), shortened the length of pages and added a few more flavour text options that reflect your choices. I’ve also added a new opposing stat where you can choose to be a reformer (liberal) or traditional on society’s views (but it’s not implemented on the stat page, sorry. I’ll do that soon.)

But I am not an editor, I’m a pantser, and I’m chafing at the bit to get going to chapter two (that duelling scene is calling me!), so I’ve stopped polishing for the moment.

Please do let me know if there are new mistakes.

You’re also very welcome to point out what kind of choices you’d like in the story, because this is as much as my brain could wring out. Seeing what people would like or what agency they feel they didn’t get will help me understand what choices would work better. If you see a spot where you think ‘hey, I wanted to express my opinion there and there was no option to do that’ let me know. I’m not good at this, but I want to improve.

Thanks again to everyone reading, reviewing and liking the story. Xx

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There’s still multiple pronoun issues, when ginerva is mentioned it says she’s instead of her , like “shakes she’s head”or on the walk it says his jaw or something along those lines. I’ve also still seen her being called Griffith when you’re at the Queens ball im on the jilted route Idk if that helps tho

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Thank you. I’ll take a look at that now. I’m really bad at editing, sorry.

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