Hi! I’ve been toying with this idea for a while and I decided it was time to take the plunge and post a demo.
Synopsis : You are the eldest child of House Venali the ruling house of Etrea, after centuries of political isolation from the world around your county you are chosen for a prophecy predicting the rise and expansion of your home. So a plan is hatched:
A war will be waged, it will be violent and bloody. And you, you will be working on taking the world from the inside. Your mission is to use the ensuing chaos to manipulate and control the naive heir to Avralux, one of the most influential kingdoms of the known world.
Will you fulfill your destiny as ordered? Or will you break the chains of tradition and change you and your kingdom’s destiny?
RO's
Aurelious/Lianna- The naive heir to Avralux, and potentially one of the most powerful people in the world.
Ritar/Eirina- A powerful mage and your Champion. Chosen and trained from birth to be your most trustworthy adviser and ally.
Alistair- An experienced knight who recently pledged his service to the King of Avralux.
Maeve- An ambitious diplomat known for her quick wit and polite nature.
Jaspar/Kathika- A travelling cleric for the the Church of the All-Seeing
Updates
7/31/19:
Posted Demo
1/4/2020:
-Fixed gender variables
-Added prologue
-Updated stats screen
Now includes lore and character information
-Changed chapter lengths so the story is less jarring
-Removed chapter headers, they will be brought back at a later date
-Sorry for not updating on progress! I’m going to try and be better about keeping you guys up to date.
I like the beginning and your writing. Heh, so far prince the most interesting partner to me, because I like to be stronger and play a protector. Also “manipulate” part sounds interesting.
Spotted things
First option rises traditional instead of revolutionary.
Hi there! I really liked the wip! You got me at “your mission is to manipulate one of the possible ROs” since I’m a sucker for those kind of things. The only thing that kind of rung wrong for me was to call my mother, the Queen, “My Lady” since I am a Lady. A quick Google search says it should be “Your Majesty” but “My Queen” should work just fine, too, imo.
Anyways, cool story! I’ll bug you on Tumblr if I find bugs or things like that! Good luck!
Woooh! I loved this here update and nearly died when I saw it. It was a delicious improvement and I think the whole idea is just interesting as all get out. May the Great Pigeon guide you!
Really interesting
But instead of referring queen as ‘My Lady’ ‘Your Majesty’ just as AdmirableAnimation said would be more appropriate.
I hope you will complete this game.
Played through it once, and here’s a little bit of feedback:
In the beginning, it felt like it was dragged out, and then very rushed when it came to leaving.
I loved the demo so far, though I am curious of how we ended up saving the princess. I mean how did we know that she will be attacked? Are we in hiding now? From whom are we hiding? And where is the rest royal family of Avralux if it’d not a spoiler? I just got very curious. Anyways, as I said I loved the demo. Good luck!
Thank you for saying so! To answer your questions, you knew that she’d be attacked because you were present when the attack was planned. Technically you are hiding from Etrean invaders, however this is a ruse to gain the Princesses trust so you can manipulate her into making decisions good for Etrea. As for the rest of the royal family, you’ll have to wait and see!
I’m interested so far, you have a great concept! My only issue with the demo is that the beginning feels very rushed; one moment we’re at the councilroom, debating the Oracle’s prophecy, then, two or three pages later, we’ve already skipped several months and we’re in the forest with the royal (who’s super cute btw. i’m going to love and hate manipulating her)
I would’ve appreciated a bit more in the councilroom, maybe a more private chat with the MC’s parents? That would’ve been interesting. The player could get a better feel for their personalities, and the jump wouldn’t felt so abrupt.
I agree, especially if your character was leaning against the possibility of war. It doesn’t explain why or how you are roped into helping with such an endeavor.
Hello! Just finished playing the demo. I like it so far, it’s really interesting! :> I like the different personality options of the MC! The ROs look really promising as well. So far my favourite is the prince/princess, but the mage is also really !
There’s just one thing I want to suggest, if I may. Etrea’s background and situation is explained in the summary and stats (and later by the Oracle), but MC was asked in the beginning if they prefer the state Etrea is currently in or not. I’m not sure if it affects the story, however I think a little description of Etrea’s politics can be included before the question. Perhaps mention of the isolation. (I hadn’t read the full summary or the World History when I reached the question, so I was a bit confused. It’s partly my fault, but I think a little mentions there can help people like me… uwu)
Overall, great work! Looking forward to more~ Best of luck and have a good day! xx
I’ve enjoyed the demo a lot! The prince came off as a cute little brother personality-wise as of now, but I can see the premise for some interesting character development.
I would have liked some more context on how we ended up finding and saving him, but otherwise very good read!
I love stories where you are a noble so this demo is already one that i look forward for updates!
I didn’t understand one thing, who is the heir to the throne (MC or is sister)? One more thing even if the character is the second in line of sucession is rather risky and unresponsible of the rulers to let a heir go in a dangerous mission like infiltrating and spying, so i think that you will need to tell the importance of the oracle a little bit more in future chapters…
I like what you have so far, the beginning has me hooked straight away. I’m uncomfortable with an entire kingdom throwing themselves into war because of one person and I appreciate the small bit where the game acknowledged that! Plus I don’t trust religious figures so in that regard, I am very much the Queen’s child (she’s also my favorite so far)
@correia You are! The Queen called you her heir just before you meet the Oracle.
Actually it depends in your gender since the kingdom has matriarchal based society (what unfortunely doesn´t pleases me that much but i understand that if it was the other way around there would be people that wouldn´t like but it would be cool if line of succesion in Etrea only depended on the age of the heir not the gender… but is not my story so if the author feels that it suits is world better is ok) it depends on your gender, so if your MC is female you are the heir but if you are male you are not an heir and you are supposed to become High General from what i understood, but my position remains the same about the oracle and is importance and the fact that we need explanations about him (but i think that the author will probably give us more information in the future)…
Yeah it happened to me too and that makes me very excited for future updates
!