Set in the world of Jianghu where strong thrives and weak suffer, you will play as a being whose power far exceeded those who claim to be strongest.
• Play as male, female or non binary.
• Romance any gender you want as any gender.
• Slaughter everyone in your path or show them mercy.
• Teach lessons to arrogant cultivators or be arrogant yourself.
• Be a living god among mortals.
• Shape the people and the world around you
Just remember this game may not be suitable for everyone, as it contains some very graphical description of violence.
If you are okay with this then have fun.
If you enjoyed the story and want to support me or get weekly update then join my patreon.
Hello. Just wanted to provide some feedback, I stopped reading after the Kenci scene.
I feel like you’ve got a good story on your hands but imo things were moving too fast. I think the story would benefit from slowing things down and spending time getting to know the characters.
We barely spend anytime with the Li family, they’re introduced then they’re dead. We’re also a baby that’s fully aware of what’s happening around them during that scene. Maybe it could be told from a different POV? Perhaps the grand uncles? Like why should we care about these characters, they’re introduced then killed off.
I also feel like that makes it harder to care about what comes next. With the Ruoran(Did I get that right?) Like who’s to say she doesn’t just get killed off unceremoniously, why should I care about her?
This isn’t to discourage you or anything, I still think you’ve got a good story on your hands, I just think the story would benefit from spending more time developing towards those key scenes. Maybe you spend your entire childhood with the Li family? But that would have the problem of the MC getting too strong I assume. I think telling that intro from a different POV is the way to go? Maybe the Grandfathers or Grand Uncle even. Or maybe the father.
After the teleportation the Phoenix attack comes really abruptly and it’s over just as abruptly. Idk, things were just happening really fast.
It’s not from protagonist POV, the narrator is telling the story here.
No, it’s Ruolan.
Some scenes will be unavoidable, still I’m trying to create as many choices as possible.
Because I don’t protagonist to stay a child forever, it might looks like the story is progressing too because being a child limits the action of protagonist, still you are gonna get decent amount of time playing as a child in the story.
The concept is nice, op mc and all, it would be better if you add detailed story line and character interactions in depth, correct the grammer and wordings
I mean tbh as a reader and even as an author making her a ro is good since she will have lots of scenes and presence in the book and you will spend lots of time writing her anyway. As a reader if she gets written well iam pretty sure everyone will get attached to her so its a win win situation.
Also i think the story is very barebones right now. Like it doesn’t really have a place where it takes it time with itself and thats such a shame since this can be very interesting to read if done right. Like a power fantasy where you can do anything. It’s like getting the best power trip. I think before writing further and correcting anything you should first lay down and divide what you have written into phases and decide just how much you want to get into a particular phase. I get your concern as an author of not trying to slather the reader with boring stuff and want to quickly get to the good stuff but that takes away a lot from the story and its just leaves the reader with a press next simulator and see if some interesting choices come up. I think if that happens more than anything it will be waste of time for you. For now i think your main focus should be to expand on what you wrote and try to strike a balance between not too much boring stuff but enough to get readers hooked. Best of luck and i will be looking forward to what you write.
You need better wording on the part were the MC is fighting the cultivators who hunted the tiger thing, because the choice of blow him is wild, especially out of context since the MC is 4
Damn you cooked this is really really good it’s amazing it’s perfect I’m so overpowered that I have the choice to hide it hell I replicate and complete like it’s nothing
