Penalty Kick - A Soccer/Football Game

Hey all! This is my first every attempt at writing a Choicescript game or really anything in general. There seems to be a real lack of sports games here on the forum so I’d figure I’ll give it a shot.

Quick note: I call it soccer, but in the game you have the choice between soccer and football. The most important choice of the game.

My game, Penalty Kick (Working Title) is going to be about your career spanning many years. I want the game to be in the soccer universe but not focused around you having to make 50 choices for every single game. Your character will go through many stages in his career and have tons of big choices to make, both on the pitch and off.

These choices will affect your legacy. The legacy system is my idea and hopefully it will provide replayability by allowing for many different combinations of endings. There will be 5 different types of legacies your player can change depending on their choices. And, at the end of the game, depending on the level of each of these legacies, there will be tons of combinations between these five legacies. I hope this makes sense because as I’m typing it, it seems confusing. But it makes perfect sense in my head.

Throughout your career you’ll encounter signing your first contract, hazing, drug offers, the chance to win championships and make the hall of fame, deaths, and perhaps even romance along the way.

The demo is currently only 5,000 words, but I’ve worked on it for only one day. I’ve got most of the story mapped out but I would love to hear everybody’s suggestions.

Before I post the demo link, I first wanted to say that I’m not a writer. I really don’t believe that I’m a great writer. But I enjoy it so…what the hell, I’ll give this a shot. With that said, I take constructive criticism extremely well so I’d love to get as much of it as possible. Whether it’s grammar, plot events, or character developments, I want to hear all of your thoughts and suggestions.

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/play/pulsedk/test---soccer-game/mygame/

Hopefully that link works at least. I look forward to your comments!

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It is a small demo, but very promising!

The only advice I can give off would be that you write it in a manner in which people without much knowledge in soccer understand the game too. Otherwise, not many games of this genre, so this one can be a very interesting project.

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Very small demo for sure but I just thought I’d throw it out there haha. I was thinking about putting in a “Soccer Phrases” section in the stats sheet. That way players could go back to it anytime they want to look up a word that is specifically considered “soccer jargon”. I haven’t hardly messed with the stats sheet as of yet so I figured I’d get on that tomorrow.

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Oh oh, how very topical.

Very first choice made me go “it’s bloody football, of course! What’s with this soccer nonsense!”

Anyway, pretty interested to see where this game will go. Sports games in CoG are still waiting for a new Slammed.

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I don’t care about sports at all, but I still did that! :laughing:

“What is futbol?”

Here’s mine.

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It’s football. Not soccer, not futbol (wherever you guys picked that up) , it’s football. Because you play with your feet, hence football.
That being said, I’m curious about the game !

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Aha, I see what you did there! Goal!!! I mean, pshh, no puns intended! xD In England and many other places, they also call it Football, different spelling of futbol.

I Absolutely LOVE games like this where it spans over the course of your character’s life. <3 <3

All in all, good start!! Though I do have a couple of suggestions for ya… When you give the choice to choose between shooting, speed, or heading… I think maybe you should give out distribution points for your skill sets? Because I know I’d want my MC to focus on both Shooting & Speed… and what about special tricks like the bicycle overhead shot? xD

And after the signing when you’re givin’ tthe choice to talk to the people, you could talk to your parents, but WHO on EARTH were those other people you could’ve talked to-- teammates, friends, rivals?! :thinking:

I know this is mostly a Sports story, but will there be a romance subplot? I just fall in love with those types of stories like the Major (baseball), Prince of Tennis (Tennis), & or Captain Tsubasa (Soccer) Popular sport anime shows that have a romance subplot to them. And like I’ve read that 1 baseball game that CoG came out with and Ehhh, it was alright but kinda boring because it was JUST mainly focused on baseball (which might interest a handful, but probably not a whole lot unless you were a Baseball fan) But I don’t think I’ll ever be re-reading it again…

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Please for everyone outside of America, change it to football. That’s all we use.

But so far I’m intrigued! :slight_smile:

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I like how it’s going so far, but a few nitpicks.

  1. It’s either football or soccer. Soccer in the US and Australia (due to football being American football and AFL respectively) and football basically everywhere else. ‘Futbol’ is Spanish, and not really used anywhere else. If you want to keep ‘Futbol’, I’d recommend at least adding ‘Football’ as an option.

  2. The three options for the name of the sports team - The Barnet Bobcats, The Ealing Eagles, The Redbridge Runners - don’t fit the location (England) or the sport either, really. English football teams are all “United” (Manchester United, Newcastle United), “City” (Manchester City, Swansea City), “Town” (Huddersfield Town), or neither, just being one word (Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, etc). The whole “Location + Animal/Noun” thing is from American football teams (Philadelphia Eagles, Seattle Seahawks, yadda yadda). This really jolted me out of immersion, so I’d love it to be changed, especially since, as far as I can tell, the names aren’t particularly important.

  3. This one is a nitpick of extreme proportions. Using English terminology, rather than American. Don’t get me wrong, this is, as I said, an extreme nitpick, but rather than terms like “kid”, the English version of that would be “lad”. More specifically, instead of:

Terry leans in and starts to give you a hug. “Enjoy it kid.”

It would be

Terry leans in and starts to give you a hug. “Enjoy it, lad.”

That’s it from me so far, I really do hope this goes somewhere. As a big fan of football, a well-made football interactive fic would be a dream come true! :slight_smile:

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Looks good so far, though a few points:

As @thegreatlorddragon mentioned, I would suggest having a “Football” option. If “Soccer”’s in the same list it won’t really confuse anyone. Also, I agree with the comment on the names, though I’d point out that many of the teams are also F.C.s – Football Clubs – like Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool, Southampton etc.

Is there a limit in signing age? There were apparently sixteen year olds playing in the Premier League, no idea if that’s changed.

Also, not sure if it’s a placeholder, but something as nebulous as “skill” seems a bit odd. Also, I’m uncertain upon archetypes. I’m not sure whether a skill system (e.g. speed, technique, control, tackling etc, but not too many: might need separate skills for GKs) would be better. It would be unfair if there were a “weaker” archetype inadvertently. Stat checks instead (with the stats set by archetypes at the start, with potential to grow) might be better. Choosing to become a highly flexible player instead of a specialist at one field could be part of one’s legacy – and also help a player fit into teams/game plans better. Ultimately it depends on how whether/how you plan to establish a “match engine” in the game.

Potentially also “personality stats” like leadership, temperament (aggressive = better tackling, cool-headed = more consistent?)? For instance, if a player becomes a team captain and is bad at it, that would be poor for their legacy (also, as an aside, a Player-Manager would be a ton of fun but another whole level of complexity, I guess.

The implied politics and behind-the-scenes stuff seems interesting too.

Looking forward to see how this goes.

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ok…couple of questions before I try the demo :

is it gender locked ? yeah ! can we play as a female team soccer ?

how about romance ? cheering for the team :stuck_out_tongue:

personally , I grow up with soccer lol footabll for me…is rugby . damn z’american confusing tha world lol

Not gender-locked, but apparently if you pick female, you’re still playing in a 100% male league - you’re touted as the first one ever to manage to worm your way in.

Football game! Yes! This sure brings back memories of the anime Captain Tsubasa. And since I’ve liked to imagine being part of Tsubasa’s story, this is definitely something I’ll be following.

Quick question - will our friends be joining us at our team later? Will it be possible to become rivals should they join the opposing teams?

P.S.: I enjoyed your writing and I look forward to reading more.

Seems okay but I don’t now yet we’ll see

Blockquote his one is a nitpick of extreme proportions. Using English terminology, rather than American. Don’t get me wrong, this is, as I said, an extreme nitpick, but rather than terms like “kid”, the English version of that would be “lad”.

This is going to be hard for me, but that is definitely the feel I want out of the game. So if there are places that feel to Americanized, please please please let me know. But as an American, it’s not going to be easy for me to write with an English feel, so let me know when you can.

BlockquoteAlso, not sure if it’s a placeholder, but something as nebulous as “skill” seems a bit odd. Also, I’m uncertain upon archetypes. I’m not sure whether a skill system (e.g. speed, technique, control, tackling etc, but not too many: might need separate skills for GKs) would be better.

The archtype system was something I thought might work due to the fact that I don’t want the game to revolve around the actual playing of the game soccer. The game is going to revolve around more off the pitch issues, with times where you are actually playing on the field. I actually had the stats set up so that each position had 3 stats and you could distribute points, but I figured that seemed unnecessary seeing as how it might give the player the wrong idea about the game. But I’m open to change that if that’s what the players want, because it’s a super easy fix.

Blockquote Is there a limit in signing age? There were apparently sixteen year olds playing in the Premier League, no idea if that’s changed.

There’s no signing limit age in the EPL or anywhere around the World for that matter. But since I’m not using them for Copyright purposes (I’m assuming I can’t use them) I’ve decided that in this World, there was a limit on signing age.

Blockquote is it gender locked ? yeah ! can we play as a female team soccer ?
how about romance

You can play as a female and there will be several romance options. As far as I have planned, none of the potential RO will be locked due to your gender. If anybody has a problem with this I’d love to hear the argument against it.

Blockquote HEY NUMNUTS, ITS FOOTBALL

Noted. And Changed.

Blockquote Quick question - will our friends be joining us at our team later? Will it be possible to become rivals should they join the opposing teams?

Both of these will be possible.

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What if at the beginning the two choices of the different teams affect stats or are used as like a difficulty setting.

I don’t think you’d need the player to actively “observe” every game they’re in, I was more thinking of background stat checks resulting in end of season results etc. If these were more randomised I could see greater replayability. That being said, such a framework should also fit within the constraints of the plot, and how sandbox it is going to be.

How sandbox it’s going to be, I think, will determine how important stats would be. If the majority of the off-pitch action was random/triggered events, then they’d be quite important, but they’d be less important if the off-pitch stuff will consist of several linear plotlines. Both routes have their advantages and disadvantages.

Blockquote What if at the beginning the two choices of the different teams affect stats or are used as like a difficulty setting.

They will effect certain locker room situations and off the pitch events. I’m not saying the game will be drastically different, but this choice will change several scenes.

Blockquote How sandbox it’s going to be, I think, will determine how important stats would be. If the majority of the off-pitch action was random/triggered events, then they’d be quite important, but they’d be less important if the off-pitch stuff will consist of several linear plotlines. Both routes have their advantages and disadvantages.

The end of season results and stats will be a result of your player and team legacies. There won’t be random events but I also hope to have a wide variety of events that your character can attend and do to provide replayability. I’m not sure about the archtype system just yet. As of now it’s an easy fix or change so I’ll continue to listen to feedback and see what people think.

Ooooh, a soccer WIP? Honestly I’ve been saying that COG and HG needed more sports stories for a while now so this will be among one of my tracked WIPs so I wish you the best of luck with it!