Ordinary People (WIP) (Ch.1 12/9/23)

For the first time since you discovered your superhero powers back in college, H.O.A.G.I.E.—the Hero Organization for the Act of Goodness Implementation Everywhere—has entrusted you with your first real mission after nothing but “saving” ungrateful civilians from minor inconveniences.

The villains of A.W.F.U.L.—the Arrangement of Wicked, Foul, Unpleasant Louses—are making a resurgence, and you’ve been tasked with tagging one of their lackeys and getting to the bottom of it all! Except, you’re really starting to run out of sick days at your civilian job, and you have a date at that Italian place scheduled for Tuesday, and will your mundane powers even help you in a life-or-death situation anyway? Not to mention… Is there more to these comically-evil villains than meets the eye?

In a spoof on the absurdity of superhero stories, step into Weshington, D.B., the heart of the Unified Federations of Ameria, and learn to juggle your humdrum civilian life with your superhero alter-ego!

Ordinary People is a more lighthearted superhero story just as much about your relationships with people (and yourself) as it is about saving the world—or, at least, the east coast, maybe, possibly.

Demo here! (30k words)

Changelog
  • 12/15/23: Wording and grammar. New choices. Minor plot stuff. Fixed end screen.
  • 12/9/23: Hello, world! Chapter one released! Become a superhero, take an unsatisfying shower, and get some news.
Features and Characters

Features

  • Play as female, male, or non-binary—and romance whomever you choose!
  • Choose your superhero alias and your oddly-specific powers—get creative, and be as irresponsible with them as you please!*
  • Help your fellow heroes regain control, or turn on your own kind!
  • Follow your organization’s rules, or bend them to your liking! Will you do your hero business by the book? Operate on your own terms?
  • Find love in a variety of places, both mundane and decidedly not so! Reveal yourself to your lover, or keep your double-life secret?
  • And more!

*Misuse of powers may lead to permanent expulsion from HOAGIE.

RO’s
Jamie Kline / M or F
Your civilian roommate dating all the way back to your college days. Quirky, passionate, witty, and creative, they’re always there for you when you need them… Except, one of their nerdy interests might be a little too close to your reality for comfort. Screenwriter and occasional actor.
Brown-skinned. Thick, black, rectangular glasses. Naturally-wavy black hair that they haphazardly dye colorful strips into every month. Lots of cardigans, jeans, and graphic tees.

Franklin/Frances “Frankie” McFadden / M or F
An up-tight fellow rookie you naturally drifted toward since you became superheroes at around the same time. Eager to please and an admirer of superhero activities even before they joined H.O.A.G.I.E., they always follow the rules and religiously put safety first. Their power is summoning protective bubble-shields.
Covered in freckles. Deep red hair that almost feels too audacious for their somewhat meek personality. Conservative sense of style, with a penchant for striped shirts.

Emmett Harding / M
A civilian from your desk job, Emmett is smart, responsible, and level-headed, with a charmingly dry sense of humor. He works his job because it pays well, but he may be repressing a more artistic side of himself in the name of being “sensible.”
Wiry, lanky, and possibly a little bony. Scruffy brown hair. Plaid shirts, casual but professional button-ups, coats, and slacks. His tie almost always ends up loose.

Chrys Carr / F
A new recruit at your company, Chrys is cheerful, overzealous, and passionate, not to mention utterly committed to her utterly mundane desk job. She’s unsettlingly thoughtful, physically incapable of embarrassment, and dreams big—but the size of those dreams may occasionally land her in hot water.
Wears almost exclusively pantsuits and blouses with fun designs. Platinum blonde, carefully-styled curls that sit just below her ears, occasionally put up in a low bun.

Feedback

As long as you’re polite, please, for the love of sandwiches, tell me your thoughts! If there was…

  • a character you did or didn’t like (ex: “A served no purpose in the story.” / “B’s actions here are unwarranted.” / “I just didn’t like C because…”)
  • a place where the story didn’t feel quite right (ex: “The pacing was weird here.” / “[part] was unenjoyable to read.” / “[thing] didn’t make sense.”)
  • somewhere there wasn’t an option for something you wanted to say or do (any instance of this, whether it be dialogue or story-altering choices)
  • or, someplace I inevitably typed linch instead of lunch (typos, grammar, formatting, coding)

…Please tell me!

Heads-up

A warning for mild swearing, responsible consumption of alcohol, and completely optional, potential future sexual content (and jokes.) Though a relatively tame story, every character featured is an adult and therefore will do things that adults tend to do.

Hi! I have never been more nervous in my life. Anywho, welcome to my Superhero/Romance/Slice of Life/Spirited Attempt at Comedy disaster-fest! I offer you yet another superhero story on the HG market. I don’t promise to be wholly original, because the world is big and this is probably similar to someone’s idea, somewhere out there. But I just wanted to write something fun that I feel passionately about. My only hope is that, best case scenario, you chuckle quietly to yourself once or twice.

I can’t express how grateful I am for anyone who humors me and my silly ideas. Thank you, thank you, thank you very much. You will, undeniably, make me very happy, I’m sure. I hope. Please be nice to me!

Thank you for reading!!!

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Loved reading this. So was the superhero agency operating without any villains being present for a long time?

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This reminds me of the old tv show Get Smart from the mid 1960s which was a parody of the secret agent genre which I loved

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i’m usually not very interested in superhero stuff but i’m glad i gave this a chance. loved it <3

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Interesting story so far! I enjoyed the twist at the end.

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I love this! It’s what I like to see! I like not being a crazy powerful person right away or ever, but also not being a completely powerless squib.

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@Big_fan1231 Yup! And thank you so much!

@Alex_Parker_Roberts That sounds like a blast! I was actually inspired by comedy television, so I’ll have to give it a shot!

@charger @Zest @Shadyaddams Wow!!! Thank you!!

This is so enjoyable and I am so ready to tease the hell out of Emmett

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really fun, excited for updates

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You just reminded me of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.
“League Of Villainous Evildoers Maniacally United For Frightening Investments in Naughtiness”

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That’s what I was thinking of as well I love phineas and ferb not mention their secret agent pet platypus

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Really enjoyed reading this. I had to copy some things.

  1. “Wordlessly, she looks back down and starts dragging her pen across the page. I shiver a little. I feel like I’ve done something unspeakably horrible with the way she looks at me, but maybe it’s easy to be bitter when you watched the dinosaurs die”

I laughed so much at this.

  1. “Junior villain at A.W.F.U.L.: the Arrangement for Wicked, Foul, Unpleasant Louses.”
    Really??? Lol i had to smile at tht because just wow…

This is fun. I love it and i love the ROs already gonna be hard to pick just one.

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@Lonily @herikkkkk @Theclassyhobo Thank you!!! So, so much!!

@Richard_Wells @StarWarsMaster I grew up with Phineas and Ferb and I think my sense of humor was subconsciously shaped by it. It’s so spectacularly smart and funny. If my story reminds you of that, then all I can say is I’m very pleased!

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I get to fondle a fridge! Your brain is weird and I love it! I needed a good laugh after getting lost on Cringe TikTokRot! :rofl:

So my romances choices are:

1- A trekkie
2- An Energizer Bunnie
3- Daria.

Did I get it right? Lol

Aw man, it end too fast. We want MOAR!!

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I loved this demo!!! Such a fresh and fun take on the genre. The characters are all very distinct and very likeable. I really enjoyed the pacing as well.

I can’t wait to read more! Thank you so much!

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@E_RedMark And 4. Children’s “Safety Town” Employee. That sounds about right! Thank you so much, I’m so glad you enjoyed!!

@baskershark Oh, my! This inspired me so much. Thank YOU!!

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I completely agree

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Hi, everyone!

I saw some other authors do this, so I assume it’s socially acceptable, especially seeing as I can’t edit my posts yet.

Chapter two teasers

I’ve just written the first words of the next chapter, with a vague outline of it all done. Get ready to search for the A.W.F.U.L. base of operations–and make it to your hot date that very same night! And by hot date, I mean either getting drunk and watching TV, going to a mediocre improv show, sitting on a dilapidated barstool, or going to the dry cleaner’s.

Chapter one changelog and future plans

I made some tweaks to chapter one and by “made some tweaks” I mean repeatedly forgot things I meant to fix and ended up making tiny updates like six separate times. Grammar, missed some veeery tiny plot things I added in lines about, added/removed one or two choices, and fixed the end screen. My potential plans for the future include coming up with better superhero names (I used up all my funny on “Sinkhole”), making a better-looking stats screen (graphic design is my passion), and adding non-binary options for Jamie and Frankie. I just have to code some extra things.

Progress moving forward

Lastly, I’m normally a very slow and perfectionistic writer, but I’m gonna be super candid and say I’m going to college for the first time in a few weeks. Terrifying! And wonderful! But mostly terrifying. I feel really strongly about this project and want to try and get content out ASAP, but I can’t make promises as I want to prioritize my education. Also, I actually contracted a persistent cramp in my hand from typing so much when I was close to finishing chapter one, so I should probably stop doing that for more than two days. Oops!

Ending my trademark long-winded rambles to say, I know my project may be tiny, but I reread every comment I receive to the point where I possibly have a problem. I seriously sometimes can’t believe people actually read my stuff and, what, liked it?! Thank you!!! Any feedback, positive or negative, is invaluable to me. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy days filled with saving the world probably to leave stuff. I am filled with so many warm and fuzzy feelings. :face_holding_back_tears:

Feel free to ask any questions or raise any concerns you may have and I will do my best to answer them! I hope you all have wonderful, wonderful days. Thank you for reading!! I hope to return with updates soon!

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Hi @KermitKC

I just saw this posted and I went ahead and turned your first post into a Wiki, so you should be able to edit it once more.

Once you achieve user level 2 Regular, the forum software bug that is preventing you from editing the original post will no longer affect you.

Let me, or another moderator, know if there is anything else we can do to help you.

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Oh, my! That’s so kind and wonderful! Thank you so much!! I am so sorry, I thought I was speaking into the void. Much appreciated! :heart:

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