Ordinary People (WIP) (Ch.1 12/9/23)

This is a unique book, and I’m looking forward to reading whatever comes next.

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It’s refreshingly charming, found myself smirking slightly while reading most of it! :smiling_face:

The only slight worry(?), is the premise of being a superhero that isn’t particularly “super”, at all, while potentially interesting in this setting, could probably get old fast. I’m interested to see where you’re going with it though.

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@Starchess Thank you!!!

@Mercz94 Thank you! Actually, I’m grateful you brought that up. It was a potential roadblock that was in my subconscious while writing, but reading this comment made me think about that more while I continue to outline and I’ve managed some breakthroughs in how to keep things fun and fresh. Thanks again, I hope you enjoy it! :smile:

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I just figured we’d get a minor power increase at some point and the rest would be about using your limited power with more finesse and more clever than ppl with more powerful powers in addition to physical abilities or support equipment like they use in my hero academia. That’s a good source of inspiration if you want for ppl with limited powers but can kick butt lol

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Also love the candleman name it fits perfectly

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I love your story, and there is a lot to gush about (the writing is fantastic, I was sucked in immediately), the plot is wonderful, the twist was :scream::scream::scream:

For criticism, and please take this with a grain of salt because I really like your story, but there was not an RO I could connect with on a physical attraction basis.

J is a nerd, thick glasses, nerdy hobbies, colorfully dyed strips in hair… not for me.

F somewhat meek personality (per the intro description), rule follower, conservative dress, eager to please and always follows rules, too mild for me.

E is described as wiry, even bony. Again, not the physicality I’m looking for, but personality wise, the closest to an attraction.

Chris’s is a girl so non-starter. I just wish of the 3 male ROs there was one with some confidence, muscles, swag, anything to make me attracted. They all kind of feel like different versions of the same person.

Please ignore me or at least do not be discouraged by my comments, I love this story but that is my honest lowdown.

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@Shadyaddams I’ve never seen it, but it sounds really interesting! And lol, I’ll keep Candle Man in then, thank you

@MadAdam I will never ignore kind and honest criticism. It’s exactly what I love to see, and I thank you for taking the time to leave it!

I wrote RO’s I’d personally like and whose personalities I felt meshed well with the setting and tone, but I also don’t want someone to feel like they didn’t have an option they liked–or worse yet, have everyone feel too similar. I’ll keep this in mind and do my best to address it as the routes continue, but I’m so sorry there wasn’t anyone to your liking. That’s completely understandable and I again thank you for letting me know and for reading. RO’s aside, that feels like such high praise, and so encouraging!! Thank you for your kindness! :smile:

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Just curious…but if your powers were related to a Toilet, what would they be?

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@E_RedMark First of all, how unfortunate that would be if your powers were limited to specifically toilets.

But, hm… if it WAS, I guess you’d have control over all aspects of the toilet. You could cause a Percy Jackson-esque scene where you could bust the water at whoever you wanted, which, to the addition of being gross, would be pretty great in combat. I assume you could also fling the porcelain parts with expert accuracy, which are surprisingly heavy, so there are worse weapons. Heavily concuss your enemy with a toilet lid and all that. You’d probably have to carry a toilet everywhere though. So I guess you’d get buff from that, which is a plus.

Edit to say, naturally, you’d have a knack for fixing them.

I hope this satisfies you.

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hey, if Turtle Ninja could run around with a Turtle carapace…a toilet on your back wouldn’t be that weird. :rofl:

Yeah, I dealt with a Toilet from Hell for 10 years. So when I saw your WIP, that is the 1st thing that came to mind…lol

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How many different powers do you plan on having and how many chapters? :cowboy_hat_face:

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@StarWarsMaster Not sure! In initial concepts, I actually had ideas for powers that manifested more mentally. There was a deleted power for being really good at numbers/accounting and you helped people do their taxes. But it was a little too abstract and would interfere with future scenes. There was also a power to do with emotions, but I can’t do that for a variety of reasons either.

Why no more powers?

I also had ideas for air, earth, and light powers. But the thing is, I’d rather have a few powers with unique, individual scenes than a bunch of powers where you feel like your choice doesn’t even matter. This is completely on me as I personally don’t have it in me to write unique scenes for any more than four or five powers. Though disappointing, I think establishing my limits as an author so I can get closer to finishing the story is most important. If anyone has suggestions, though, I’ll be glad to listen to them! Just no guarantee that they’ll exist.

How many chapters?

Gosh, I don’t know. I have an outline of the entire plot done, but I come up with so many ideas on the fly that I don’t write detailed chapter outlines until just before I start that chapter, to keep pacing/details consistent. I only plan for one, at most two books though, so um…an average amount? Lol. Sorry, that’s really lame, but it’s all I got. If I had to guess, maybe 10 (35k+ word) chapters. Please don’t quote me.

Sorry about talking a lot. Whenever people ask me about this stuff, I get excited. Thank you for commenting!!

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Gush away! The story is good and funny! Humor is one of the trickiest skill (Or Gift) there is and a rare thing! You should be proud. And an enthusiastic Author is a joy to see! We are behind you and can’t wait for the Update! :grin:

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I personally love the options we got and love more in-depth on what we get. The only possible 5th kind of power I could think of would be a physical power. Like this one alien race from the dc universe that can turn to stone, but can’t move when they do. Or like sugar rush from my hero academia where there’s a guy who’s power is the more sugar he ate and drink the stronger he got, but he also would get dumber the more sugar he ate or drink. Or just a tail lol

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I agree that it’s better to have fewer powers so as to make it a more impactful choice. The specific scenes for the powers really added to the whole experience and made it more memorable.

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@E_RedMark :face_holding_back_tears: Everyone here is so nice. What are they feeding you? Is there something in the water? Seriously though, thank you so so much. :heart:

@Shadyaddams I love the idea of power-specific drawbacks. For MC, you mostly just feel really tired when you exert yourself, so this can be a really cool thing to think about in the future. Thank you!

@baskershark Thank you so much! I’ve actually been struggling to make choices feel impactful, so that’s really encouraging. :heart: I’ll still do my best to keep that up in the future.

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For your current power drawback for electricity of having to touch the object is pretty good! But if you’d like some other options then.

Electric- if you use your power too much in rapid succession or too much too soon, it could cause you too have a minor seizure due too synaptic overcharging causing you too “short circuit”

Fire- having to keep emotions in check and concentrate otherwise could cause things in the surrounding environment to combust into flames. Or over use causes you to burn yourself.

Telekinesis- the drawback of small objects is pretty good. A unique drawback you could incorporate if you wanted, is only being able to telekinetically lift what you’d be able to lift physically.

Water- is a bit harder to pick without reusing a previous one. The only ones I could think of are only works if you yourself are sufficiently hydrated and excessive use dehydrated you. And idk excessive use could make you pour sweat? :man_shrugging:t2:

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@Shadyaddams Ohhh! These are some crazy amazing ideas that I actually might make use of! Would you mind if I did that? Is there a way you’d prefer to be credited if that does end up happening?

I love these. They’re so creative and would add another element of customization to choosing your powers. Wowie! That is so great!!

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You can go right ahead and use them if you’d like. I got tons of ideas going to waste in my head so use them as desired :blush::+1:t2:

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Merry Christmas Eve and happy holidays, all!!

I finally edited the post a tiny bit. Added a change log, more info, changed wording, content warnings…boring stuff, but it’s done.

Progress is steady on chapter two–I am naturally a slow and perfectionistic writer, so I apologize, but it’s coming along! I think I have something like 5 or 6k right now. I’m a little in over my head here with these branches, but I hope the work will pay off. I may tone back on those in the future, just for my own sanity and ability to finish this project. However, one thing I will not sacrifice is wildly different routes depending on your chosen RO. I’m really enjoying writing everyone’s unique dates in this chapter, and I hope you enjoy reading them!

I’ll try to keep things going, but classes start on the 8th, so again, prioritizing university.

I’ll only make a limited amount of updates so I don’t clog the forum, so if things are quiet rest assured I still live on. Don’t hesitate to ask anything you’d like to, though! I love chatting!

Thanks for being amazing! I hope you all have fantastic holiday seasons filled with love and copious amounts of baked goods!

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