Odin's Eye - WIP (UPDATED 1/26/17)


#1

Your authors of this novel. Loki & Thor.

(I’m Loki here) - Thor is the editor.

I’m just including this picture till I have proper art done.

Odin’s Eye is a science fiction novel with fantasy elements woven into the story.

The story is set in the distant future of Earth after climate change went unaddressed. Humanity has very few options in front of it due to the severity of the weather. You play as a citizen living under a dome who has been given another shot at life. Will you become a god among the stars or will you lift humanity out of the coming dark age?

This WIP consists of:

The prologue, creation process, and most of the first chapter.

Each class has their own specific backstory scene.

Key features:

*Game is not gender locked.

*Romances will not be gender locked.
-You will be able to romance characters such as:

Loki, Sif, Odin, Thor, Freya, Sigyn.

*Meaningful stat/skill choices.
I spent a bit of time developing a skill/stat system that will allow multiple ways to confront problems. I am building in a large level of replay ability so that your choices/profession/stats will give you access to new text beyond a superficial level.

*Game will be long and done in three installments. The first one will be between 1 - 6 chapters.
I expect to finish the rest of chapter 1 over the next week. Most of the game has been generally plotted out.

Feedback:

I’d love to hear feedback on pacing, story, romances, gender representation, and ideas about game play.

Please enjoy! This is my first attempt at a Choice Script game! I’m learning a lot and was a bit nervous in deciding to post this but figured what the hell.

Content thus far = PG-13.

https://dashingdon.com/play/tool/odins-eye-demo/mygame/index.php?cb=47604

1/24/17

-Classes changed - Primary 3 - Artist, Engineer, and Scientist.
-Intro reduced by 3000 words - Half of the creation process is gone now.
-Further spelling grammar updated.
-2 scenes beyond the temple.
You can advance the story right now as an Artist or an Engineer.

-Finishing Scientist backstory.

-Finishing skill/relationship list.

-Finishing continuation of battle and the end of chapter 1.

This is a pretty big update in my eyes. I rewrote much of the start, edited out a bunch of redundant text and fleshed out where I want to go with the story. The next update will be bigger.

I’d love feedback on the updated creation process, the flow of the story, and any suggestions.

UPDATED: 1/26/17

-Scientist backstory scene added. Story can now continue with that class.

-Further grammar improvements

-NEXT UPDATE:

Continuation of Temple battle and the end of chapter 1.

*Run into a few problems with my *if statements checks. Most of them work. If you suddenly jump ahead to something you don’t quite get, that’s the reason. Resolving this soon.

I’d have finished and posted the update already but attending the women’s march, protesting, and a school final kinda got in the way. I’m 2/3 done with the next update


Which WIP would you bring back from the dead?
#2

Is there a reason why blonde isn’t a selectable hair colour?


#3

Just an oversight. I’ll pop it in!

It’s an option now. I’ll plug in the new file tonight when I’m home.


#4

Oh, awesome! Thank you. I just emailed you.


#5

I decided to dive right in. I was also curious to see how the chronicler code converted. @BenSeawalker has done an amazing job with the program. I’ve written this over the last month but the hard part has been figuring out the code. The writing has been the easy part. Building MUD areas and hosting DnD games has really come in handy with this project.


#6

The Lab Assistant path is missing Medicine as one the skills you can raise 3 times. Not sure if intentional or not. Also, what exactly are these “force” powers? Telepathy? Telekinesis? And don’t you dare making a Star Wars reference… :stuck_out_tongue:


#7

Already this story is quite captivating. I was wondering, and I’ll have more questions later on but – what does the Meditation skill mean?


#8

I kind of like the mysterious obvious lack of usefulness of that…


#9

I’m going to post a description of the skills in the next update. That will include a relationship tab and a skill one in the stat chart.

Meditation is going to effect your regeneration rate (health/mental) how much mental damage you take and be an active skill during some parts of the story. Every skill is going to be functional and be combined with your attribute stats. Some pairings will work better together.


#10

Force = forces in physics. Like gravity, magnetism, sound, heat etc - maybe time.

Elemental = Earth, wind, water, fire and maybe heart <3

Meta Human Enhancements = Super human strength,reflexes, agility, and maybe laser vision.


#11

Ok. Also, I saw someone mentioned this earlier, but I noticed blonde was not an option for hair color, nor was hazel for eye color. And could we possibly be able to choose our skin color/race? If it’s unimportant to the story, that’s ok. I’d just prefer that to the attractive/average/ugly/etc. descriptions, since attractiveness is a matter of perspective and opinion, while skin color and race are more definable physical/genetic traits.


#12

Adding more options is easy! If there are any that I over looked I’ll plug them in tonight or take requests! I’m not home now otherwise I’d do it now.

As for skin color I purposefully left it out because I don’t think it is meaningful for this story. As for your physical appearance it will not play a large role in attempting romances. No, character will be rejected based on that. In this game it will be your Atma or lifeforce that characters will be drawn too rather than your eye color or whatever.


#13

Right, what is atma exactly?


#14

I liked it. This remembered me of a movie that I watched a long time ago, but I don’t remember the name. I’m looking forward to see more of this. I had some problems with the status, because when I chose an action the status marked the opposite to the personality, for example the action scene against the golden man I chose to fight defensively, but it marked as offensive.
Plus, do you plan to put a codex or some list of explanations for some things in the status?


#15

Atman / Atma (disambiguation), in Hindu, Buddhist, and Jain traditions: the higher Self, Universal consciousness.

All my terms are going to have actual religious/mythological roots.

Basically people will be attracted to your mind. The stat has not been revealed yet.


#16

I’ll fix those opposing stat choices. The codex will be out with my next big update next week. My goal is to finish all of the encounters in the first chapter.


#17

I would recommend changing a to a(n) because a Artist doesn’t really make much sense, also after that the choice says, you are artist which also doesn’t really work. “peoples eyes linger on you because you are very_attractive.”


#18

Can’t wait for more it really good and different


#19

Thank you! I’m really enjoying the entire process. I’m getting the handle of if than statements. I don’t think I would have made so much progress so fast if it wasn’t for the Chronicler program. I’m very much a visual learner and having a flow chart where I can see the branches as opposed to just writing the scene files has helped me tremendously. I’m going to fix and rephrase a bunch of the text. The next update will be this weekend or next Wednesday.


#20

Thank you! This is my rough and dirty draft. I’ll fix those and other errors when I get home from work.