Ocean between the Stars (WIP) (Updated 26th August 2020) Still working on it, not abandoned

Hello dear reader,

Welcome to Ocean between the Stars, this little project of mine that the combination of ADHD and Corona induced sitting at home has brought forth.

To play the WIP-version, click here

Description: It is the year 2778. You are born into the reign of Emperor Heiron August IV., it is mostly a time of peace, although war and conflict is never far of, as the Empire is always threatened by hostile aliens on the outside and the backstabbing machinations of the imperial court on the inside. It is a cruel and heartless place, as uncaring to those at the bottom as it is to those at the top.

On the forefront of the imperial defence stands the Imperial Navy, an old and powerful instutution, whose mighty fleets are always the first to challenge those that would threaten the Empires continued existence.

This is your story. The story of how you join the Navy to make a name to yourself, serve the Empire or protect your fellow humans from the horros lurking in the ocean between the stars or hiding within your own ranks.

Word count: 30416
Word count (with code): 33745

Updated: 26. August 2020

Working status: --Active-- (1. November 2020) :frowning:

Some quick addenda:

Please read:

Is this as grimdark as the description above?
Not really, it just sounds better. Currently it is planned more Star Wars-ish, although without magic monks. There will a exploration of the more heavy themes that come with an expansionist, authoritharian monarchy but these are still somewhat off.

Planning status/update frequency?
I have a general idea of where this story should go and a detailed plan of the prolouge/chapter 1.
Updates will not be regular. University takes up a lot of my time and I have some other hobbies that are very time consuming. To keep track if I am currently working on this consult the Working status indicator.

RO/Game mechanics/background decriptions?
Will add them when these things are certain, currently the ROs are only mentioned in code, I am still irresolute about wether there will be stats at all or not or if your abilities are more defined by yes/no variables.

Feedback:

Please read

What can you do dear reader?

Tell me what you liked.
Positive feedback sustains me.

Tell me what you did not like.
Without criticism one can never improve, specifiy what you did not like and why.

Spelling and grammer mistakes.
English is not my first language. I made so many mistakes that I would say don’t bother telling me of them except they are especially severe. I will try to catch most of them when the current WIP-chapter is finished and in the rework-phase.

I wrote about something in a bad way or in bad taste.
I am probably just uninformed, not malicious. Tell me what exactly I did wrong and how I could improve it.

You have ideas?
I would love to hear them, although I reserve my right to decide what is added and what is not.

Found weird flow or a pronoun that does not match?
Copy the text so I know where to look and give a description.

Content:

Summary

Prolouge/Character creation chapter: 95 % done
Chapter 1: In development, 0% done

Plans:

Summary

- Rework and refine prolouge-chapter.

- Get the details of dates and lore a bit more clear.

-(Maybe) Add option to be Nonbinary, need to figure ot the programming logistics of that and do research on the right way to do this.

- make it a more optimized for mobile users.

Lore:

Will add short descriptions here later

This text will be hidden

ROs:

Summary

Riley Keller
1.75m/5"9", blue eyes, blond hair. Offspring of the Keller-family, a sideline of the Imperial family, but the relationship seems strained. Keller has a degree with perfect grades from the Imperial Officers School and has won the Wargame-Tournament every year they were at the School, as well as an impressive general education.
What they gain in book smartness they loose in practical application. Their overly rethinking nature and undecisiveness holding them back considerably.

Have fun reading and, of course, have a nice day.

Patchnotes:

Summary

26th August 2020

Word count: 30416 (+5538)
Word count: (with code): 33745 (+6087)

- Finished writing prologue chapter.
- fixed 'two to male, two to female "-algorithm.
- implemented choice between metric and imperial for my american readers.
- Meet the first potential romantic option Riley Keller, or bro-option, because I intend to make every one of them into interesting friends too.
- added school flashback for a bit of extra lore.
- fixed switching of tenses.
- decided on a stat-system (maybe). Stats are daring/cautious, shamelessly stolen from Fallen Hero, challenging/untroublesome and self-centered/group-centered
- You can now choose your own swear word.
- Fixed some spelling and grammer mistakes. (Probably made some more.)
- Fixed some missing variables.

25. August 2020 Small emergency update
Changed the way the player chooses height.

113 Likes

Good WIP, so far so good, I will say, use *page_break in some scenes to avoid the long scrolling for phone users :slight_smile: keep on the good work, and at the beginning, It read Prolouge :slight_smile:

4 Likes

Seems like I will need to go through this with my phone to check for where to set a *page_break command.

1 Like

I enjoyed this, it gave off Ender’s Game vibes which for me is a big plus! While there were a few spelling mistakes throughout I was actually surprised by their rarity. English is my first, and admittedly only, language and I make a ton more mistakes when I write.

I liked that we got to choose a specific branch of the military to join and specialize in and I thought the ability to choose our economic background was a fun and interesting choice that I don’t often see in these sorts of games. I hope this continues to have an impact moving forward.

I noticed the stats screen is still a WIP, but if you don’t mind me asking, what sort of stats are you thinking of implementing? I saw that you already have a “daring” variable but are you thinking of adding more than that? Just curious.

Overall, I really like it and will look forward to its development!

4 Likes

Great demo!

3 Likes

Seems like an interesting demo, though, unfortunately, I was not able to play it until the end. My sleep deprived brain was screaming at me to go to sleep :sweat_smile: The setting and the flow of the game looks great to me, however I found multiple spelling errors at the first 10 pages of the story and so on. Something like misplaced words: to - too, be - bee; and etc. Nothing serious. Also, when we meet Captain Van [something, sorry I’m just terrible with names], the pronounces keep switching back and forth.

This is just a small example of minor mistakes, nothing big because I haven’t progressed further at this point. Hope to get back to resuming my playthrough and possibly send some more feedback once I have my rest.

Anyways, good luck with the game! :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

Having the player input their height in inches is a little unnecessary and annoying.

5 Likes

It’s seems militaristic cog/Hg games are increasing in numbers which makes me so happy (this game is pretty good though I’m wondering is this empire supposed to resemble the Roman empire?)

2 Likes

I heard Navy and I heard aliens my kind of story I’m in

2 Likes

its actually hard to find a game about war that i end up liking for some reason even though i do like action probably because they are usually not character/story focused don’t know i really liked this game and excited for an update even though what it only has half chapter!!!your writing style is so good i hope we will be able to get to know the mc better and the all the characters that we haven’t met!! cant wait to meet them also will mc be able to meet the guy who was at the festival again (if thats spoilers you don’t have to answer) oh and cathy amazing :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

2 Likes

@T_Chaney
I dont really know what kind of stats there will be right now. Need to find a good system thats not too artificial.

@Mei_Hiroshi
Thank you I knew somewhere where some rouge variables.

@Trazen4
So you want to be able to use centimeters or want the system gone in its entirety?

@Constantine
Right now it a wild and dangerous mixture of all ‘Empire’ tropes my brain could come up with.

@maixoi
Well I never intended for you to see them again, but now it gets pinned to the ‘neat idea’ wall.

4 Likes

@BOTcommander
There’s no need for actual numerical input, just have the player select tall, average, or short or somethng along those lines.

3 Likes

How about a compromise, the reader can select from tall, average…but additionally input their exact height?

3 Likes

This is good not normally what I go to when it comes to the military but it is a good story up be watching to how this one goes

3 Likes

I always liked the space Romans/Imperium of Man vibes, the story is really good, and I can’t for more, my only problem was the height part like @Trazen4 has already said, besides that, all’s good

3 Likes

Emergency update 25. August 2020
-Due to popular demand the way the reader chooses height was changed.

5 Likes

i liked it! premise wise, it’s very interesting and new, and i can say that i’m definitely hooked. looking forward to more!

i love the option of being able to choose which class you’re born into. and i’m glad to see the differences you get when you choose them. hopefully, we get to see more of the different struggles they can face while growing up.

also noticed a few spelling errors/typos here and there. nothing too big, but i posted a screenshot so i hope it helps!! [edited to add the picture because i was on mobile earlier and it wasn’t showing up correctly, sorry about that!]
Screenshot_20200827_070105|238x500

2 Likes

Due to not knowing the metric system and being curious about how much a 200 kilogram creature weighed I found the conversion rate and basically found in that particular Marine route you fight a group of aliens around the size range of a black bear that is wearing armor, using advance weapons, military training and can presumably fight strategically. It seems the mc is very prodigious in the ancient art of killing things

3 Likes

This is just plain awesome.

3 Likes

Update 26th August 2020

Word count: 30416 (+5538)
Word count: (with code): 33745 (+6087)

Patchnotes:
- Finished writing prologue chapter.
- Fixed 'two to male, two to female "-algorithm.
- Implemented choice between metric and imperial for my american readers.
- Meet the first potential romantic option Riley Keller, or bro-option, because I intend to make every one of them into interesting friends too.
- Added school flashback for a bit of extra lore.
- Fixed switching of tenses.
- Decided on a stat-system (maybe). Stats are daring/cautious, shamelessly stolen from Fallen Hero, challenging/untroublesome and self-centered/group-centered
- You can now choose your own swear word.
- Fixed some spelling and grammer mistakes. (Probably made some more.)
- Fixed some missing variables.

8 Likes