Hiya. I’m Kailas Menon, longtime forum lurker and CoG aficionado.
I’ve begun making a game. Here’s the first bit. It’s a combination of low fantasy, Roman history, and horror.
Specifically, you play as a lowly but power-hungry plebeian in Ancient Rome, during the reign of the Emperor Tiberius. You are offered three different paths of villainy by which you can rise to power. I haven’t written in redemption yet, because redemption is dumb.
Becoming a thug and leading the Roman mob.
Training in magic (which, in this universe, I have based on Hippocrates’ theories of the four humors).
3)Undergoing a ritual which transforms you into a hideous monster, with only the barest understanding of humans–and no memories-- remaining to you. Hey, desperate times call for desperate measures. (This is the most fully developed path.) For those skeptical about this sort of thing happening in Ancient Rome, I direct you to H. P. Lovecraft’s “The Descendant.”
Play through it, point out bugs or make suggestions, and be gentle.
UPDATE NOTES FOR JANUARY 2017: Fixed the confusing narration and past tense/present tense issues; now it’s narrated by you, in first person. I also removed the ‘three objects’ bit, which seemed a little stereotypical, and have otherwise streamlined the storyline.
UPDATE NOTES FOR DEC 24: I’ve fixed the gender/magic bugs, so the game should be a bit more playable now. More in-depth changes to come in the next edit.
Tried to be nb, got an error. Something about expected 2 was 3.
Why can’t we be a handsome monster? Or at least a cool one.
Also if ya horse has stood on caltrops you can’t ride it. Or at least, you shouldn’t. That horse is probably going to die anyway though if the caltrop spike has reached the coffin bone.
Hope you don’t mind, but since your game was public and posted I assumed it was okay to pull up your scene file and fix the gender selection error. You can’t allow a ‘fall through’ with a *choice as it requires an explicit command (such as *goto) for each option, but you can use a *fake_choice instead and it does not have that restriction. Also you’ll want to avoid putting *finish at the end of your choices or the reader will simply get dumped to the next scene if there is an issue with the choices.
At any rate, I love what I’ve read so far. My sincere apologies if I have intruded by repairing the issues to read the remainder of the story.
Soooo I’m all about quest for power, I’d love crush those that stand in my way and become Empress (for the good of the people of course ) but I think it’s pretty well expected for me to ask…Is there going to be a romance? And if so will that include a lesbian option?
It sounds like you’re super prepared to write this. Have you studied this era before?
I got the same errors in the magic path that the last few people did, but that could be easily fixed by running randomtest and quickest before you update the file.
It’s pretty good. I like the monster path. I went with the female gladiator stocky muscular build sharp teeth and claws and obsidian axe. I’m picturing somthing like a ogre or oni.
sounds interesting! i like how the captive is the one telling the story. tbh i’ve seen this game on dashingdon before and i’m glad to see that it’s being continued!
now the dreaded question for every WIP: will there be romance? and will our captive be one of them?
either way, the premise is unique and it’s nice to play the villain for a change! wait, speaking of villain, would it be possible to play the MC as a reluctant villain / anti-villain?
Either going to be a magic informant or monster thing. Keep up the good work!
) but I think it’s pretty well expected for me to ask…Is there going to be a romance? And if so will that include a lesbian option?
