Next in Line (WIP) (Update: August 29 2022) - Moved to Twine

[writerindisguise]

@empyrean

I just found out about this game today and finished the demo. I’m already hooked lol. I’m excited and looking forward to seeing how the rest of it goes.
Also, this is the first game I’ve played that had the touch-averse options. I thought that was cool.

Personally, I’m not touch-averse but I saw some other games with the option and wanted to try to be more inclusive! Thank you so much for trying my game!

@Flinx

Your writing style is immersive and the characters personalities are well differentiate without them being a cliche. You can totally guess which character is saying one thing without reading who it was in the first place.

Thank you - dialogue is not my strong suit but I’m trying to improve. I’m glad it flowed well.

@Flinx

however, later in the story, when he and F find Anna and MC, he starts teasing his sibling about MC and it gives the sensation he’s playing matchmaker, which doesn’t make any sense to me.

Sorry for the confusion - it’s intentional on Felix’s part - he likes to cause a bit of drama

@Dahariel

No Scorpio huh, its fine I get it we are the best sign everyone else is just jealous

HAHA actually, I did almost make Felix a Scorpio. but thank you for your interest in my game!

[Suzumi]

I thought those blue eyes were referring to Constantine’s eyes … I must have thought wrong lol
Now even I’m curious…cos my MC has green eyes.

[Cingulum_diaboli]

I have read again and a few comments about some options. But these are just my subjective feelings, I don’t know if others would agree with it!

Here, I would give one more option. Something like “stares blankly with eyebrow raised” or “roll your eyes watching impatiently”. For people who are not interested in having fun of these two’s crush.

Option to be undecided on this point. Or /and something like: shrug “haven’t thought about it”

Relationship with F upon their return. Here it was sometimes weird when we choose route of former lovers, because on the one hand we have a bit of drama; broken heart, grudge against F… But in some scenes, both of them act as if everything is alright between them - they are laughing, joking… I know they were friends for a long time, but after what happened when their relationship was romantic… For example here, we have the option of flirting and we have friendly opcjon. I miss an option that would show the awkwardness between them. It would be good option to keep silent - MC just doesn’t know what to say, aren’t even sure what to think about the whole situation, and they are distanced from F (even if they may still have feelings for them). Maybe they would be afraid to give them a second chance. Something like that.

Maybe it is meant to look like this, but maybe one of my suggestions will be useful. Good luck with your further writing

[writerindisguise]

@Suzumi

I thought those blue eyes were referring to Constantine’s eyes … I just have thought wrong lol
Now even I’m curious…cos my MC has green eyes.

I meant to respond already but yeah, it was supposed to be Constantine’s eyes. But, I will try to make an edit to make that clearer.

@Cingulum_diaboli

Here, I would give one more option. Something like “stares blankly with eyebrow raised” or “roll your eyes watching impatiently”. For people who are not interested in having fun of these two’s crush.

That’s fair, I’ve gotten a lot of feedback on the F options and will be adding more so I’m just compiling a list now of some different interactions I can add. But I think adding some reactions for this interaction with James and Anna would be good as well. So, thank you for the suggestions!

@Cingulum_diaboli

I miss an option that would show the awkwardness between them. It would be a good option to keep silent - MC just doesn’t know what to say, aren’t even sure what to think about the whole situation,

Those are good suggestions here as well!

@Cingulum_diaboli

maybe one of my suggestions will be useful.

Your suggestions (and other people’s in regards to F) are definitely helpful. I am planning to revise the ball scene with additional reactions. So, thank you!!

[K_T]

I absolutely love this. My 4 years of Latin in highschool paid off.

I did find a piece of open code

As well as a choice I shouldn’t have as I chose the calm mind in the beginning

[writerindisguise]

Thanks for flagging those - I thought I had fixed those but I’m planning to do a minor update on Friday so I’ll get those fixed. Thanks for playing!!

[writerindisguise]

Minor Update pushed today (July 16th):

Uncategorized Updates

• Added a quick build so you can customize your character, answer key questions, and then skip forward (if you want - this is because the saves are probably broken) it’s a lot of questions though so BE WARNED and don’t come at me ahahah…;
• Added some new variables in coding to properly track super simps AKA flirt all you want <3 but be prepared…
• Made some edits so MC isn’t as teasing (you can still tease/banter, but I tried to give additional options when it felt natural to do so.)
• Updated Oracle Davina’s pronouns to “they/them”. The Oracle is NB and the game will reflect that moving forward. They will obviously be a part of MC’s journey in their own way since they oversee the blessing of the gods, so I look forward to further highlighting them in the game. This is a decision that I’ve been thinking about for a while and based on what I know about them as a character, it feels right. If you see an error when interacting with the Oracle that refers to them as “she/her” or has the wrong tenses, please let me know so I can fix it.

Prologue Part II Updates:

• After selecting MCs birth name, you’ll confirm if that’s the name to be used or you can enter a new one;
• Can now choose the family motto choice during Constantine’s introduction scene while simultaneously setting touch-averse;
• Anna will no longer slap MC on the back of the head during her introduction scene;
• Added additional choice for reacting to the Anna/James moment;
• Added additional pet names. Might be some special flavor text in the future depending on your pet and name combo!

Prologue Part III Updates:

• Added additional customization options when preparing for the ball, specifically: added laurel crown option, hair type, and (optional) facial features (like freckles, scars…); For customization, if you see an option missing (for example, a specific hair type or eye color) that you want, simply ask and I’ll be happy to include it. I’m not purposely trying to leave any out;
• Added an additional choice for responding to James when preparing to enter the ball;
• Added additional choice for reacting to Vivian when showing up late to the ball;
• Added a couple of additional choices for interacting and/or reacting with F.
• Added additional choice for Constantine’s last scene at the ball. (When MC is interacting with James, Vivian, etc.)
• Revised after-ball scene with Anna and MC. Additional choices have been added.

If there are any typos/errors, or game-breaking errors (sorry), let me know and I’ll fix them as soon as I can. This isn’t necessarily the last update to the demo as I have a few more places I can add some additional choices, including Chapter I, but those need some consideration first.

[Valixon]

Finally got a chance to play through the demo once lol I enjoyed it and look forward to seeing what comes next.

[writerindisguise]

Thanks for giving it a shot @Valixon!

[Fenrir1]

Im having an internal battle of choosing between the lion and the wolf because the wolf is my favorite animal but the lion is also very appealing… but between a dire wolf and a lion I would choose the dire wolf

[writerindisguise]

Haha people REALLY love the pets in the game. I have so much work to do to integrate them into the story lol. Hope you can figure out whether your MC should have a lion or a wolf thanks for playing!!

[Aethelric]

This is already such an interesting story, I can’t wait to read more.

[writerindisguise]

@Aethelric Thank you so much for playing. I hope you will enjoy Chapter 2 as well!

[writerindisguise]

Just created a discord for the game. Linkedin in my original post as well in case you want to join later. Here’s the link.

[Mlz]

Only 1 White Ro’s?

[writerindisguise]

Yeah.

[RenataC]

…wtf.

ANYWAY
I always get so happy reading your answers to scenario requests on Tumblr all your RO’s are amazing.

[writerindisguise]

Thank you very much for your support!! It means a lot to me

[JBento]

Spoilery Stuff

“blessed you with twins”

“mischievous”

You’re narrating in the third person, so this should be “your shores”. “after receiving the letter”.

“it’s hard not to enjoy”

“affected by her gorgeous”

“sends a shiver”

Well, that’s certainly interesting!

[writerindisguise]

Thanks! It looks when I was updating something, I added the wrong file where these errors were already fixed but I’ll log in when I have chance to add the correct one. Appreciate the flags!!