Monster Maker (WiP) [updated 4/20/19]

I liked the demo very much. Looks like decent detective story. Adore both my partners already.

Seems like two choices about Eloise relationship are mixed. When I choose I consider her a friend stats screen says she glad to have me as a partner and otherwise.

what got you to make monster maker

Thank all of you so much for playing it! And for commenting! :blush:

Ok, business:
As a few people pointed out, there are some… kinks in chapter one that need to (and will be) worked out. Splitting up with Cas, the “trap” not feeling trappy enough, and some other things that I’m personally just not happy with. I worked on chapter one for a long time (and wrote so many versions of it, oh my god) so after a certain point, I had to set it aside as is and move forward. But it is going to be cleaned up and there are going to be some more details/options added and each path is going to be altered at least a teensy bit. That said, I’m glad you guys are bringing those things up so please continue to do so!

@Szaal Thank you! That’s definitely what happened then, because I found a super weird error right after I posted it and fixed that. Unless someone finds something game-breaking, I probably won’t update it again until the end of this week (for some minor stuff that I can add pretty easily) and then when chapter 4 is done (few weeks, hopefully) so I won’t ruin anyone else’s playthrough! Sorry! :sweat_smile:

As @VenusHeart and some others are wondering about Cas and Auria, some clarification. They haven’t met yet, so they are not in love or like at the beginning of the game or when you first meet either of them. They will get together if you don’t end up with either of them, except if you’ve seriously pursued (one of or both of) them and then changed your mind about being with them. So, if you really wanted to (@Runbunnyrun :wink:), you could get in the middle of that. But you’re gonna have to be dedicated to it.

@Langre That’s just Eloise. Your friendship with her is still high if you picked that option, she’s just a stickler for being professional and so her relationship description (for the bracket you’re in atm) always says “partner.” There’s some mushy crap underneath all that though, promise.

Why am I human???
So fair. I love games in which I can be cool non-humany things. That said, for right now, part of the story is about how you embrace (or don’t) who and what you are when surrounded by other kinds of beings. I tried to be sure and include options that express lots of different feelings about that, but they aren’t as evenly spread out as I’d like, so that’s another aspect of chapter one that’s going to get attention. Sorry. But I hope you can still have fun with it!

@Runbunnyrun, re: flirts/platonic friendship-y options: If it’s something that you stop and think “I’m not sure if this is flirting or just being nice/platonic-and-intimate” then you can definitely click it without worry of being “stealth-manced” (kaidan alenko :expressionless:). If you want to play a character who just likes to hold hands with your besties, you can. I’m trying to give people a variety of reactions that don’t assume intent, so unless it’s very obviously “I want to flirt with this character” you can assume it’s a platonic interaction (for the purposes of game tracking, anyway).

Also: you don’t have to always flirt with your LI(s) to get with them later. I want it to feel organic. And sometimes, you might not want to flirt. You might have other stuff to say. I’m leaving room for that.

Things I will definitely add ASAP:

  • the option to toggle between percentage bars and descriptions for relationships
  • character descriptions to codex entries (I considered this originally, but was worried about making the codex pages too overwhelming)
  • a save system!!
  • gonna find out what’s up with that, @ApplePi and Fix It :thinking:; thanks for pointing that out
  • will definitely add some customization for the MC; are there any particular options you guys would really like to see/would make you feel more connected to your protagonist? I’ll freely admit that when it comes to CC in IF, I’m always a “can take it or leave it” person, so I’d love some suggestions about what you guys would like

@Takashi_Shin I had a weird dream about Einan (who didn’t have a name at the time) and then when I woke up, I could not get it out of my head. I started it as a short story, but it just never felt right so I re-wrote it… god, dozens and dozens of times. By then, I’d been playing Choice of Games for a little while and one day I was just like “oh. huh. that could work.” It’s been a very… gradual evolution from what it was originally, but he’s stayed almost exactly the same. Also, I’m glad you liked it!! :grin:

And again, thanks to all of you! For reading and for commenting; I know it takes time so I appreciate you spending some of it on this! :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a IF story on here before that had both. If I recall it had % bars, and then below those a text description.

In regards to myself, as long as you have hair color, length, eye color, skin color, and body type / shape. I am pretty much golden. Though there’s probably other things you can do.

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Alrighty, so here are my answers to your questions

I sure did! I even dare to say this is the best supernatural game I’ve played since The Wayhaven Chronicles and I enjoy Wayhaven Chronicles a lot, so this is a big deal. It’s already one of the wips I’m most looking forward to see complete.

Hmm, not really. I think it has a bit more text than what I’m used to see but it doesn’t bother me.

I don’t think so. Pretty much the opposite, actually.

This is something a little hard to say because I’m not fluent in English so I’m not sure if it’s really a mistake… But aside the “B” instead of “be” and a few missing Es, there was a part in the game where the text was something like “it eat people”. I think it’s “it eatS people”, no? EDIT: I’m replaying, it says “it hurt people”.

Well, as somebody else already said, I first thought the game was going to be something like a mad scientist creating monsters or something, because of the title :sweat_smile: I was glad to see that it isn’t so. As for the characters, I didn’t like Castien at first but now I’ve seen a bit more of him, I’m looking forward to know more about him. To say more, I really liked to see that we play as a disabled person.

Yeah, as I said I didn’t like Castien at first but after seeing how lonely he is I’m more interested in him. His dialogue lines were great.

One thing I’d like to add though is that I don’t feel like I really got to know Eloise. One moment I was going after Castien and in the other two I went to the library and medical check, right after that we get the scene to go home. I picked the option that my MC lives alone, so… I’ll replay and pick more scenes with her to know her better but I kinda feel that we choose to spend just a little more time with one of them (or Eloise or Castien) we sure miss a lot of the other. But I guess that’s how it works in real life, soo…

To be honest I don’t really see the need if the subject is never brought up. I do like to read scenes where it matters a least a little tho, like “we can’t go all stealth if your hair is so damn blond”. So hair and eye color and body size for me is enough.
I already feel very connected to my protagonist actually. The options so far already made me feel this way, it’s like really putting on paper my personallity.

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Can we become a werewolf or supernatural creature please

Aah! This is cool! I already like our ragtag team. We’re like… the dysfunctional three musketeers, or something.

The only issue I’ve had is sometimes thinking that my MC would’ve responded differently to a given situation than the presented choices.

Here for example

In this case I would’ve really liked to be able to tell them to work things out later but in a uhh… gentler way than the second choice haha.

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Really liked the premise, Agencies, fantasy, supranational, but unfortunately I got put off very quickly, because I got so bored and annoyed with MC, we are essentially the most boring “race” the game has to offer and almost every character we met so far constantly reminds you of that fact, that you are weak etc. I ecensially started to avoid interactions with Eloise, because i got so done with her telling me again and again how weak and usless I am.(I hope that didn’t sound rude) xD
Other that that I really enjoyed the demo~ Wish you luck and all the inspiration~

I love this WIP and I have to disagree with the couple people disappointed about being the lone human. I don’t mind it and I love the direction you’re is going!!

Keep it up!!

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I for one enjoy playing as a human here. In general, I don’t find human characters boring- it’s depth and characterization that make characters interesting, not powers or species.

Specific to this story, the game is thematically about how you as a human handle proximity to and interaction with beings that are objectively more ‘powerful’ than you- resent them, fear them, envy them, accept them, love them, etc. That theme vanishes, or at least is greatly weakened, if you yourself are just another breed of super critter.

Besides, think of the Batman principle- how tough does your character have to be to regularly operate on even terms with, or even in command of, beings that could physically tear him in pieces?

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I really like this MC. I was really curious about why they had a prosthetic, and then we got to the flashback, and it was like “oooh….neat.” Not the event itself, obviously, but the opportunities for characterisation. I’m particularly looking forward to meeting Eli, considering we’ve had the opportunity to basically set our MCs exact level of PTSD re: werewolves.

I have to admit I’m really curious about exactly what happened to the MC’s parent if they didn’t die. Will the reader find out as part of the story?

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Hi !

Personally, that’s exactly why I love the premise of this game. Being able to play a puny human (with some perks though) amongst “monsters” able to kill or eat you on a whim. I call it an achievement!

And I’m sure the author has some surprise ahead of us!

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:sparkles::sparkles:I’m so happy that it’s enjoyable (or at least mostly lol)!! Thank you guys!

@Nael Thank you for being so thorough! Also for the kind words!!! So nice!! Gonna go flail now, excuse me :sweat_smile:

@Caleb Noted! I will definitely add another option there. Thanks for pointing that out! (And if there are other instances of this, please feel free to bring those up too!)

@Kita Eloise can definitely be off-putting. It’s just part of who she is. Protectiveness quickly becomes a lack of confidence in others and that turns into unintentional insults lol Easier for her to say “you’re fragile” than “I care if you get hurt.” But no, that doesn’t sound rude. You’re definitely allowed to not like that about her (or her in general) and tell her so (or avoid her because of it). She’s aware that it’s a flaw; changing is another matter lol

:eyes::smirk: me too
And yes! You will learn more about your parent(s) and your guardian.

As for the title… I will only say that I chose it carefully. :eyes::eyes::eyes:

I know a lot of you guys are bummed that the MC is human (again, fair, werewolves are cool), and I’m sorry if that makes it less fun for you! But I’m glad some of you are enjoying that aspect! That’s very much an integral part of things, as many of you said.

Also, I seriously and deeply appreciate the faith you have in me going forward! Thank you so much for those comments! :sob::two_hearts:

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I like Eloise she my kind of people

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I haven’t even finished the demo yet but I had to come and say that I love it so far. Good writing, natural dialogue (which wins so many points with me), and two partners who actually seem like their own people. I’m hooked! And I’ll come back and comment again if I find something in the rest of the demo that bothers me or needs to be fixed, but there’s a good chance that won’t happen. :slight_smile:

Edit: Okay, one small thing. Sometimes when you choose a dialogue option, it prints your dialogue at the top. Other times it skips right over it and the next screen starts with the other person’s reaction to what you said.

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Very interesting and easy to read. Will keep an eye on this. :relaxed:

Yup, noticed that too. Me, I prefer the former, repeating the dialogue. Somehow it helps it feel part of it all, for me at least. Immersion and all that. :grin:

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Yeah, that’s how I tend to like them too, but I waffled back and forth because there have also been times when I’ve played something and the “repeat” was different enough from what I understood the choice to be that I was like “wait, no, that’s not what I meant.” But I’m planning to clean all those instances up in the update later this week because I’d rather make a decision about it now and have to change a few things than wait and then have to change a lot of things.

Thank you for bringing that up @ignifex!!!

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Ok pals: in Chapter Four, you’re going to meet the rest of the crew but you’re also going to meet Bernydine’s pet sphinx cat and since I can’t decide on a name, I thought it’d be fun to do a vote. These are all things Bernie would definitely name their cat, so some of them are funny and some of them are just very stupid–which tells you a little bit about Bernydine lol

  • Fluffy
  • Bing Clawsby
  • Catastrophe
  • Chicken
  • Lucifurr
  • Kitty Kitty Bang Bang
  • Pico de Gato

0 voters

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It so flufffffffy!!! I had to do it

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Yup, that is the bad route of doing it. Like Fallout 4 or sometimes Mass Effect series. But if it is literally what is being said, then, verily, that is indeed the way to go (for me). :relaxed:

Oooh, cat… I want a cat too. :grimacing: :cat:

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