Modern Crusoe (very early WIP)

romance
nonbinary-inclusive
survival
gender-choice

#21

No they won´t^^. One of the characters is available even for instant “fun”, but both like you from the beginning so if they dislike you, I has been your own fault :joy: (You have to treat them bad over a period to make them hate you, not just choose one bad answer^^)


#22

So it had been a while, but I finally loaded up the past of the MC, now go on with the cruise and the fun part. If someone has another sad but interesting background tell me and I might include it to the game^^


#23

Uploaded the new choice of the past which @Eric_knight gave the idea for.
reaching 4200 words hope you enjoy some sad moments^^


#24

@Kaelyn hey i think i just found a flaw in your choices when you choose at the start that you looked after your sister because she became ill in the story it gives your parents died but when you select that your on the cruise cause it was a gift it says your mum gave it to you so how does that work?


#25

Ah I thank you so much for mentioned this, I simply forgot to change this. :kissing_heart:


#26

There may not be much, but what I did read I enjoyed. I like how you begin with the imagery of the cherry blossoms, especially since they often symbolize how brief life can be – which leads into the chaotic setting.

I liked how it begins with both society and the MC’s personal life facing troubled times, with death – of a person, of a previous way of living and working, of a relationship – leading to the happier idea of finding your soulmate and dreams on the cruise ship. We haven’t even reached the survival part of the game yet, but that life-and-death struggle already feels like it’s part of the story.

There are some grammar and wording issues, but I’d wait until you have more before you start editing. I do think, though, that you might want to change “getting mobbed in your job” to attacked or belittled, only because I thought I was going to have money or items stolen from me, not have a colleague criticize me.

I look forward to exploring the cruise ship! :relaxed:


#27

Thanks for your comment and your interest. And thanks for mentioning the getting mobbed thing, it seems another local thing, here in Germany getting mobbed means that you are treated unfair and mean by your colleagues, talking behind your back and this kind of things, I thought this was a common term^^. I will correct this with the next upload.

Another thanks to everyone who takes their time, to look through the little bit I´ve written, that motivates me so much. :heart_eyes::kissing_heart: