Memoirs of a Black Sheep (WIP) 6/23/2016 Twine and choice script demo versions are up!


#1

cancelled…


#2

that was … interesting?


#3

How did you come up with this idea?


#4

I have no idea. I was sort of listening to a song and that came out, why?


#5

I was just wondering.

I think a way to improve it is to, instead of saying who the stars are, simply allude to the fact that one of the kings is Micheal Jackson or That the Great* Grand-Daughter is Taylor Swift. Putting in these already defined characters disrupts my suspension of disbelief, and makes me a lot more biased towards the characters. But with that said, the idea of a Musical Themed Kingdom, and World seems very unique and intriguing to me. Good Job with what you have, but for me changing the characters into Fully Independent Characters would suit your story better, That’s just my 2 cents though.


#6

I hope you will finish this story.


#7

I updated the History of the planet a bit and I created a table of content to skip read parts and I added Chapter 1 although it’s short.