Okay, so Chapter 4.2 has now been updated! What you should expect!
Words: Close to 20K
Words per play through of the whole book: Close to 90K
Contents:
Picking off in the second Chapter, Valentine and MC must find out where the attacks are coming from.
The mischevious little things Valentine does when not in the church.
The extent of Valentine’s insanity and the extent of how much Blaine cares for you <3 (Or more accurately, how clingy they are lmao.)
A little me time with Vigil (Nothing too serious, just testing the waters to see if I get killed or not ) and how they can further the plan of finding out where the Archive could be.
The power of a fully fed werewolf (and if you choose, aided by the Pendant).
I don’t know why, but for some reason this WIP passed me by. I’m so glad I found it and read it.
I sat for 5 hours reading
, and
if M will always be my best friend, then I absolutely did not expect that I would like Vale so much.He’s just crazy, I can’t keep up with his rapid changes in dialogue, dude slow down…But that’s exactly what I like about him❤️
Besides that, I love playing dominant characters, but Gosh, I love the dynamic between Vale and the shy MC. He’s already crazy, but with a shy MC he just gets wild.
I need more Vale content🥹
Hahaha, I had enough time to upload it, there were some minor editing here and there
I honestly did not expect Vale to be getting so much attention But guess what? Someone drew a fan art of Vale and it’s just… I might be going crazy over it XD
Uhh, Kinda sick rn but that’s not stopping me from going full steam ahead hahaha.
Wrote 8k words this week, 1k off from 9K words, but I guess it’s the little steps
I’m also rewriting the book from the beginning and I’m deleting the entire Prologue. I’m also making some changes with the Pendant because… Well, I realized that Spoiler for the newest chapter: That the Pendant shouldn’t be acting the way it is right now. Adrian should help the MC through it but it is self concious and I kinda made it seem a little too evil.
Chapter 5.2 is now at 12K words! My next target is to complete a scene and then move onto rewriting it all over again. I’d say I’d be able to release the entire thing for Patreon on 20th-25th and it’d be close to 20K something words!
I’m still surprised V is getting so much attention, I honestly thought that people would hate them XD, they haven’t even gotten their redemption arc, though it will depend on the player of how changed they’ll be so there’s that hahaha, have a great week you guys! <3
Hahaha, thanks!! I’m a bit busy with the latest chapter (Gonna try to finish it ASAP) and after that I’m gonna try and rewrite the entire thing from the ground up (Cause a lot of things won’t make sense ) Which will involve Elizabeth and John having their pronouns messed up (And others as well, sorry >.<)
Okay! so, late update, sorry, I’ve just been extremely busy with kinda everything lol.
Which also includes the book, so let’s get into it.
Around 6K words were put into the recent chapter (5.2) putting it into a close. It’s around 16-18K words. 3K words in chapter 1. Which puts this week’s word count to 9K so Yippee!!
I’ve started to rewrite the first chapter and have already gotten done with part 1. So that’s around 12K words rewritten. (The chapter is now around 10k words)
4K words were deleted and a lot of scenes were changed. A little insight on the MC’s mother is also now up.
I realized that Nathan wasn’t the way I thought he’d be and there are a few changes in A (They’re now 3 years older then the MC and acts more mature) This puts the MC’s age at 9 and A’s age at 12 in the beginning of the book.
Anddd other little things here and there that were added! This week, I probably won’t be able to write as much due to a lot of business but I’ll put chapter 5.2 on Patreon on probably 20th-23rd. Have a good week you guys!
Uhhh, I would like to start off first by apologizing to every one who read my horrendous writing in chapter 1.
I am also happy to tell you that you will no longer need to read that horrendous writing!
Chapter 5.2 Was finished and posted on Patreon. It is 18K words.
Chapter 1.1, initially 9K words is now 10K words and is also posted on Patreon.
Chapter 1.2 Is also almost finished. It’ll be absorbed with Chapter 1.1 because almost 4K words were deleted from it (Well, technically I deleted everything and started from scratch but yeah.)
A total of 15K words were rewritten which is my personal best! I’ll try to push for 20K words this week.
I’ll release the newly written chapters from next week until I reach chapter 2. I’ll skip Chapter 2 and then focus on rewriting Chapter 3 (Since I feel chapter 2 is alright and doesn’t need much rewriting)
That’s pretty much it. Thanks for sticking with me you guys, I really appreciate all your support! <3
"She worried for you like a hen. Nathan was there for her of course. Caring and chasing her worried away.
“Then there are Ordo Solathis. No one gets stronger then them, but I feel like you know of them by now. The only one who could have any chance of capturing Nathan alive.”
I did notice that it isn’t counting my caring stat, even if i choose to impress Nathan, hug Natasha, etc
His gaze was distant, and he wished someone would come in and stop him. To plead to him to stop all this. That there was still another way one where they didn’t have rely on the children to become mosters
Natasha and so many had taken upon themselves.
But now that he was alone, he had no choice but to pass it down on the children.
You wondering if you’d be able to live without your child hood friend. He was the only one in your life, after all.
In the Bertrand’s respect achievement, there’s a grammar error that says “sometimes being patience mixed with kindness is they key”
Once you finished the finish line, there wasn’t a single person who was looking at you with either jealousy or awe.
You gritted your teeth and tried to push through the discomfort, knowing that you couldn’t afford to let your injury slow you down and put the mission at steak—
There are pronoun errors for Blaine/Marcus
the RO info page isn’t functioning i think?
::Suggestions::
I kind of prefer the stat being labeled as ‘subservient’ or maybe ‘timid’ instead of “reserved”; it seemed more accurate. Or maybe u could add a stat description/explanation page?
Its a might be a little odd that Alex is 12ish and still saying mommy in the ch.1 car scene
the emotional scenes seem more related to aggression, than simply being emotional, like when the MC punches a wall after Alex is gone
It sort of feels like I’m being punished for choosing friend options. It keeps affecting my stoic stat just bc i don’t wanna fk Vale & Marcus . Like i chose to think that “Marcus needed a friend”, it raised my stoic stat and had no effect on my caring stat…
It’d be nice there was a label whenever there is a transition back to the MCs POV
It would help me keep track of the story imeline if there was an age on my profile
@Silly_Cat_69 Continuity issue in the ch2 part 2 scene in front of vigils office. I had lunch w Marcus and still got the scene where Marcus is shitty to me, asking what i had for lunch, when we just had lunch…
I was actually supposed to do that this update but I forgot
Yep, will change to Timid!
That is true, will be changing that!
The emotional scene? Is it in chapter 1 after arriving in the orphanage?
Oop, the issue is in chapter 2, I only edited chapter 1 so I’m terribly sorry, thanks for pointing it out though, I’ll make sure to keep an eye out for it!!
Yep! Will be adding an option in chapter 2! (Well, I already added it, I just need to edit the rest of the chapter and release it!)
Huh- that’s weird, I’ll keep an eye for that out as well, thanks!!
Whoa ur so on it! Ty for listening i keep replaying this. I’m supposed to be writing an essay lol.
Jw but is there supposed to no RO relationship stat for John?
You were both standing outside a police station with you covering your crotch and Vale struggling to breathe from how hard he laughed.
LOL the Viagra joke shouldn’t work with a female character because they don’t have a penis (I know myself, I’m a female, I don’t have a manly part there )
I think our interactions with Vivian and Gregory have that potential for the banter. Also if we have more interactions with Fin. It would be a bit out of place where we’re talking to Jinwa for example
There’s some parts I don’t understand, like where I didn’t kill the guard during the test but later on it says I did. The priest stops me cause he’s like those are the eyes of a killer and I want no parts Or like the where Vivian says she thinks I like her (my character is female) and then is doing the homophobic thing, but she flirts with me nonstop and I only ever flirted with her once at the start I like the bondage scene tho, it’s very Viv. I’m thinking there may be another way to show she’s attracted to me and is struggling with that? Because it feels very wild for her to be talking about tapping my ass, and doing the super bold flirting then the homophobia slaps like the chancla out of nowhere,cause wdym you’re not wlw Viv, like are you sure you know that
I think there’s a glitch in Chapter 5 where we try to bring Blaine food. If I bring her food like Adrian told me to, she gets called away. But if after that I select that I want to give the food to Vivian (yk so it doesn’t go to waste) I ask Blaine where Viv is and she gets jealous, but like I know Viv is in the VIP ward, because I was on the mission where she got injured so I wouldn’t need anyone to tell me that. Or like let me go to the infirmary and ask John or smthn.
I feel bullied for not falling apart if Blaine “dies” during the test. Like, what do they want me to do? Everyone from Viv to fucking Jinwa calls me out for it, it’s not like I killed her, damn
There’s no indicator explanation for the the hearts that aren’t filled in, but are just outlines of a heart
The self hatred bar doesn’t change, it stays at 50℅
after i pass the test perfectly, the achievement doesn’t appear, and i still get the scene where Vales Dad saying i only did ok on the test
A is not listed as an RO in the description of the game at the top of this webpage
Ch.2 has pronoun errors all over
My MC has long hair, but in the M pov scene, where hes creepily watching her sleep describes my hair as short
Summary
Suggestions
Could we get friendship stat points not just flirt points? Like can the bar represent how well we get along and friendship, by addimg friendship points a bit, so we can raise it regardless of who we romance?
Can u warn us when our stats lock in place pls?
Does the premade Adrian character absolutely have to be male?
It would be nice if we werent agro when were upset, especially since my MC is reserved, caring and charismatic, but emotional
i find myself wondering if there r different teachers during the night classes and day classes?
Would u consider added something to track how the stone is affecting us?
i feel like there aren’t enough tone indicators and i rly like them
Summary
Choice Suggestions:
Can there be a prologue choice that doesn’t result in increasing the harsh stat?
i sort of feel like I’m being pressured to make certain choices or alienating ppl…Especially Marcus and Vale… Ch.3 Vale Scene:
Suggested: Generally add some options to treat Vale as a friend. Or just generally be nice to Vale w/o trying to fk him?
when Vale wakes u from a nightmare in ch3: “Who’s Alex, Saki?” Vale asked, a frown on his face.
Suggestion: add a choice that isn’t aggressive to Vale . rn the choices r punch him, growl something mean, flirt or flirt
Can we choose our own hair texture possibly?
Would it be possible for us to get an increase in relationship stats for non romantic things, like thanking M for waking u up from a dream about A, or when we choose how to react to M carrying us in Ch2? Or maybr just add same choicea that r non romantic like this:
Marcus put a hand on your shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t blame yourself. Let’s go catch up with him before something bad happens.” You looked at he and said…
Choices:
I know I don’t deserve this kindness… ⇑♥
Suggest same as above, but not romantically
“What do you think you’re doing?” I stared at him,
“Thanks, for being there for me” I gave him a thankful look. ⇑♥
Same as above choice but not romantically
maybe add the age of the MC in the top game description?
Summary
Comments
Thanks for implementing suggestions so quickly, ur a machine bro
I enjoy the relationship notes on the ROs opinion of u
The quotes u picked for opening chapters r great and fitting
I love how u write, i crack jokes a lot to ease tension. This has made me grin randomly and weird ppl out
) and how they can further the plan of finding out where the Archive could be.
But guess what? Someone drew a fan art of Vale and it’s just… I might be going crazy over it XD
(Be as harsh as you can! >:3)
. Like i chose to think that 
i keep replaying this. I’m supposed to be writing an essay lol.
)
