I feel like the purity mechanic needs some tweaking. I keep getting told my thoughts are pure and they very much are not. I drool over Alex, hit on daddy Vigil, I’d be all over Michael and Sagittarius too if that was a choice (even just to casually flirt… not like an RO). The only person I rebuff is Blaine because I’m not attracted to him, but somehow I keep being told I’m pure. It seems off because I am not pure.
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Reply to @Madame_Pharmaciste
Male or female, Valentine, is the kind of person to flirt with every one 
They will flirt with a rock if they get the chance (Spoiler for the future ahaha-)
If you use the pendant, you do kill the guard, but I will be changing that later on because it doesn’t suit the character at all. Sorry!
They don’t, they’re very confused about their feelings, won’t spoiler anything but the homophobia thing is there to show how much they’ll change (depending on MC’s choices) in the future >:3 (Adding extra elements to the Enemies to lovers trope ehehe)
Oh yeah, thanks for pointing that out!!
Eh? You shouldn’t get that unless you choose the indefferent path (The one where you’re like “Damn, that happened”) But yes, I will be changing that, so mb mb
Thanks for reading!!! And thank you so much for the feed back! They will help a lot with this rewrite ^-^
Reply to @hapamama93 (Thank you so much!!!!)
Oh yeah, so if there’s a heart there, that means it increases, if there’s no heart there, it means it stays neutral. I’ll add a “=” to show that everything remains neutral?
Yeah, that was an ambitious project of mine, but it complicated things a bit too much 
Will be removing that!
Huh- Just tested it out, and it worked fine for me, just checked on both IDE and in the game as well
Yep! Alex/Alice haven’t been introduced as a romanceable option, revealing them now and their appearance would spoiler the upcoming scene. Same with Adrian
Yep! Fixing them now!
Fixed! (will update it on Tuesday once I’ve fixed all the mistakes!)
Will be working on more of your suggestions and will reply on them tomorrow so thanks a lot!!!
“Daddy Vigil” is WILD (You’re not wrong tho 
) but thanks for pointing it out!! I’ll keep my eyes on it in the rewrite! ^-^
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One more thing, Adrien (not the mc, the other Adrien) is introduced as male in the early chapter (same as mc? Not sure, but is male to my male mc). Midway the other Adrien starts genderfilpping between he and her. Toward the end, the other Adrien is purely female. I think this is an error, unless it’s a plot point that confuses me.
Side note, (a compliment not a critiscm) I feel like such a traitor flirting with John at every opportunity when my heart still belongs to Alex, but it’s been soooo long lol, we all have needs.
It is building for a great moment of tension when all is revealed, I can’t wait for that… I just hope John, Alex and mc are all in the same room when mc figures out whatever is going on, and that Alex is alive and John knew it.
Edit (sorry I’m updating as I re-read): this line
“How would it even be gay sex? If you and I do it, it won’t be gay.” is really weird. Even though he says it’s humoristic I just don’t get it. And not in a sensitive, “you hurt my emotional feelings” way, but literally I’m a guy, he’s a guy. I’m gay, he’s at least interested since he’s the one offering. How is it not gay sex? I’m confused why this was said, there either needs to be more context for it to make sense, or it needs some rephrasing 
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Ty for answering! And for the heart, i understand two filled in hearts are like serious relationship ones, but what about the hollowed out hears, that r only a thin outline of a heart, the ones that aren’t filled in?
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That is a bug, I’ll fix it ASAP! Thanks for pointing it out and sorry it made you so confused
It haassss, plus I’m sure Alex wouldn’t mind it too much haha… right?
He’s implying that if he and the MC have sex, it’ll be “Homie sexual” cause they’re homies and y’know… it ain’t gay if it’s the homies (Will update it further to clear the confusion )
Those increase the relationship stats, I just fixed them while I was going through a few problems, so sorry about that
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Wow, it’s amazing to see all the hard work you’re putting into this! I love the progress and can’t believe how immersive the story has become. The dynamic between the MC and Vale sounds so fascinating! Can’t wait to see how it all unfolds!
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- Ch.4 has a glitch where, when meeting fin, he makes a joke about vale and i being a lgbtq+ couple, but my MC is female
- none of the pictures past ch.3 r loading, just a little icon
- Typo in scene at hospital: Marcus’s lips were pressed into an angry line. He did not want to do this byt voth Sakura and John depended on him. And so, he took a seat next to Vale’s bed.
“What do you like about Sakura even?” Vale asked. "I mean, okay, she’s kind and - ch4 scene talking withAdriann after agreeing to bring food, my reply is harsh and i have a high caring stat has a glitch that says
Comment:
n e 1 else getting stalker vibes from Marcus??? 
And gas lighting vibes from Adrian?
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Fixed issues
Fixed! (That was a dumb mistake on my part, my bad )
woops, fixed!
Thanks again!!
Ohhh, wait, this was in chapter 5, sorry about that, I made a mistake in coding there, should be fixed
Added at the end of chapter 2!
Fixed!
Non fixed issues
Chapter 2 pronoun issues
More to be added! (And will reply to all in due time, sorry!)
Late update,
Terribly sorry about this, I got extremely sick and as much as I wanted to write an update, I felt my energy would’ve been better if I kept fixing bugs But yes! Productitve week!
Around 8-9K words have been updated and is now public in chapter 2.
Lots of bug fixes, massive thanks to @hapamama93
Chapter 2.1 is now free of pronoun errors (As far as I know, please report any that you see >.<)
That’s pretty much it, I’m still sick so I feel like I won’t do as much this week but I once I’m fine I’ll try to do as much as I can! Thanks for staying patient!
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@silly_cat_69 Ur awesome its crazy u can get so much done while sick 
Lmao “go bash rocks val”, indeed 
random: I was jw if n e of the achievements r stat based
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You’re welcome. I didn’t chose to use the pendant (I never do in my playthroughs, but it still treated me like a stone cold killer). I also didn’t pick indifferent, I mostly listened to Viv’s advice throughout the test and then didn’t rush forward at the end. Everyone treats me like a dick. Side note, if Viv’s a homophobe, in the playthroughs where Blaine is female, then maybe she should be a little less compassionate towards Blaine’s feelings for me (as female MC) or maybe make some homophobic remarks? Just to make it more cohesive, unless the point is that Viv’s unstable and her thoughts don’t follow the normal logic?
Thanks so much for your hard work, I’m looking forward to how you develop the story, especially Viv, she’s insane. I also want to know what happened to her that made her so loopy and why Jinwa’s so disappointed in her.
I also want to meet up with Alex. I think you intend for us to do so, can you give us the option to punch him on sight (or be very angry)? Like my character was traumatised by his death and missed him a lot and to find out he was alive the whole time is super upsetting
I also want to ask about Adrian. It’s not clear to me whether my MC’s body will be taken over by Adrian or if my MC will be a conduit for some ritual to return Adrian to physical form? I know Adrian said she’ll strip away everything that makes my MC who she is, but then when she’s talking to my MC she’s saying MC can use pendant for training
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Reply to @hapamama93 and all the bug fixes! (Big thanks again!!)
Yeah, quite a few things are wrong in the book and I’m slowly rewriting em, and deleting a lot of the words, sorry! Will be working on it!
They are, but I kinda didn’t add that since it wasn’t that important to the story?
Like a stat?
Uhhh… I don’t follow? Prologue has been deleted but I don’t think there was a choice there?
Huh- I did that with my other game and people didn’t like that XD Will put up an option for it!
I was actually thinking of putting in that! Thanks for reminding me!!
How did I not see that, I’m so sorry
It’s functioning but is now more pleasing to look at rather
Woops, that should’ve been the caring stat, mb Fixed!
Nope! Adrian is the only straight character in the game so they would always be the opposite of the MC’s gender.
Added a choice in every POV change if the player wants to read another character’s POV now! ^-^
Now has been added!
Fixed as wel! ^-^ (That was a testing issue, sorry for being clumsy )
Wish I could’ve gotten more done Dw though, now that I’m a little better, I’ll get right into it 
Reply to @Madame_Pharmaciste (Major spoiler warning which are spoilered)
That is very wierd, I’ll start working on fixing it now! Thanks for pointing it out!
That is the point, yes They’re bat shit insane. If they’re confronted at the way they look at Marcus/Melissa they just go defend themselves in a way that doesn’t even make sense.
(Spoilers from the book)
“I’ve seen the way you look at Marcus.”
“That’s cause he’s adorable to look at!” He defended himself.
“Sounds like a lot of denial”
If MC reveals that they and M are in a relationship, and both the MC and M are male, Viv just goes (Spoilers from the book) At least tell me you’re attracted to Marcus’s feminity so it’s less gay!" They just make no sense lol, and that’s their beauty.
Hahaha, that’s actually in chapter 5.2, I’ll release it next month! ^-^
If it’s okay with ya, can you got a taaad bit further with this?
So, Adrian is one of the biggest, biggest reason for this rewrite, The MC will not be a conduit or any ritual for them to return to physical form. They were supposed to be, but not any more. I read back and realized that Adrian is kinda nothing like how I envisioned them to be. In the old one, they just sound like an evil diety, villain type of person, but in the new one, they’re going to be posessive but really caring. And anything MC wants, they deliver no matter the means and they are harsh but kind towards the MC and they’re super SUPER protective of them.
- Add Indicators for Stats!
- Don’t add indicators for Stats!
- Add an option where we can choose between just having relationship indicators and just having stat indicators or not having either of them or having both of them.
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voters
More to come!!
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So, Adrian is one of the biggest, biggest reason for this rewrite, The MC will not be a conduit or any ritual for them to return to physical form. They were supposed to be, but not any more. I read back and realized that Adrian is kinda nothing like how I envisioned them to be. In the old one, they just sound like an evil diety, villain type of person, but in the new one, they’re going to be posessive but really caring. And anything MC wants, they deliver no matter the means and they are harsh but kind towards the MC and they’re super SUPER protective of them.
I actually rly like he new nice RO Adrian 
I meant choosing the gender of the preset MC “A boy named Adrian, with the nickname Addy. (Preset character)”. Im glad we dont get possesed! Now i only have to obsessively worry about my immortality!
Like a stat?
Yeah like just a number?
Random: idk how to get the outfit achievements. Im now extremely concerned that i have bad taste lol
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Vivian calling me gay when I was tied up even though I set her as a girl was hilarious
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So, I think this hopefully addressed all of the issues,
Summary
Hahahahahahahha… No comments
Fixed!
Oh, that’s just uhh… me being very creative hahaha… (I should’ve put in any other name XD)
It was usually to just test characters which was for me so now there is a female character called Katherine!
Hahaha, so if you use all extremely tights, or extremely revealing, or just dress like a vigilante (Hint towards a comic book character) you get those achievements, I shouldn’t add that many achievements on outfits, will be removing a few XD
There was also an issue with this in the coding but it’s fixed now! (Sorry )
Fixed as well!
Okay, so, just to be sure, you picked the top one right? Where the MC is indifferent and they just go “Damn, Vigil’s not going to like this?” (I’ve worded it different so the MC looks unamused and uncaring and I’ll make it so that less people are A-Holes for that, V does get like that cause she likes M but the rest shouldn’t give you that much heat)
Aw fudge- Sorry! I forgot to put that in Character-creation too so if you skipped through there, I think the problem came it there, sorry
(You’ll be seeing the fixes in the next update which will be hopefully on Tuesday)
This is already added in chapter 5.2 since I feel like the child MC wouldn’t be able to know how the stone is working and since only Adrian knows how the stone effects the MC, they’ll tell them how it’s effecting them ^-^
Added!
Uhm, none of these are romantic They just increase the relationship stat, relationship can be both platonic and non-platonic (Not any more since I’m working on a friendship now. Friendship stat will be simply “⇑” and the relationship/flirt stat will be “⇑:heart:”) Unless it’s me and those are actually flirting lines (English isn’t my first language and considering how I thought Snu Snu means snuggles and Dom/Sub means “More confident/Shy” I would appreciate it if you’d tell me )
So I checked every instance where the MC was supposed to be perverted, then double and tripple checked it, but it might’ve be me, do you remember which chapter/instance it called you pure when it shouldn’t have?
Hahaha thanksss!! I’m still sick so my implementations have been quite slow so I’m really sorry about that >.< But really, thank you again so much hahaha 
Yep! That option will be available, along with crying into their chest or just have them hold the MC if MC has a stoic personality.
Weelll, They absolutely would stalk the MC cause the MC is the first person they had such strong feelings towards and since they don’t know how to act upon them, they’ll stalk :>
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(English isn’t my first language and considering how I thought Snu Snu means snuggles and Dom/Sub means “More confident/Shy” I would
- nooo my Dad speaks English as a second language; he’s been here for 30 years and ur still much more articulate!
- also technically those words like “dom/sub” & “snu snu” include those adjectives like “confident/shy”
2 Likes
Update time!
Not much progress was made this week due to being sick but progress was made none the less!
A lot of bugs were fixed, this includes the bugs in character creation, Fem MC getting a PP out of nowhere in chapter 4, image not loading, typos, glitches when meeting Fin etc etc etc
New things were added such as Preset MC being added, Friendship bar being added since there was a lot of confusion between flirting and friendship options, New options being added where the MC can be more stoic and silent etc etc
Around 3K words were removed and 1.5K words were added, making chapter 2 around 24.5K words (It was 30K words before)
That’s pretty much it! I’ll be publicly updating the book on Sunday when I have more time and when I’m sure updating won’t give more bugs XD Have a great week you guys!
13 Likes
Update time!
Chapter 2.1 is now finished! I’m jumping straight to the to chapter 2.3 before coming back to chapter 2.2 cause the last time I wasn’t able to get the confession scene with M correct and I feel like I could do a lot of good in it. Around 9K words were rewritten and I’ll be posting that publicly on Tuesday! In the beginning, MC can also choose to feel if M is being shoved down their throat or not. I’m also thinking of adding a “Love at first sight” option, like I did with John/Elizabeth in which there would be additional thoughts from the MC with each character. This won’t effect relationships, stats or anything, it would just add more depth to the MC.
Tl;dr:
9K words were rewritten.
More flavor text might be added for both Vale/Vivian and Marcus/Melissa depending on the poll.
Chapter 2.1 went from 30K to 21K
The whole book will be publicly released on Tuesday after I make sure there are no bugs/problems with it.
Thank you all for supporting me and I hope you all have a fabulous day!!
- Add an option where MC falls in love with the characters on first sight or after the first/2nd chapter.
- Don’t add that option.
- Banana
(I just wanna see the result man, why you making me click on a banana? Like come on man, why? What’s wrong with you? Stupid 
)
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4 Likes