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Me at the trans pride parade in KC.
Did I mention it was the inaugural trans pride march in Kansas City? 
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KORRASAMI!!!..now that sound like a battle cry 
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You know, one would think that a lesbian prime minister, one of the very few in the world, would actually try and better the LGBT community’s rights and position, in some way, like, at all, being that she grew up in a mostly conservative country, but considering it’s those conservatives (esp. the old people) that are gonna vote for her party and her puppet-master, she doesn’t dare upset them.
Two girls just made headlines here campaigning for same sex marriage and I was actually surprised at the level of positive feedback (which isn’t super duper high and is nonexistent after a certain age point, but again we’re not Seattle) and you’d think that for years she’s been doing the job, the bloody PRIME MINISTER would have uttered a word on that score
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There is something in my mind that I’ve been thinking about for quite some time. It might seem that it’s kind of late to bring this up considering that it’s no longer pride month… but maybe it’s better this way. I wasn’t sure about bringing this up earlier because I felt it would be quite a buzzkill, and I also felt kind of guilty about it in some way. Maybe bringing this topic now will give me time to reflect for next june… .and make sure that i’m talking from a position of good faith…
The thing is I like pride and I completely agree with it as a concept but… there are some things that seem inherently tied to been queer and the way that these identities are expressed as they relate to pride month. My attempts to join the pride parades often result in feeling panic and social anxiety, so I end up going home.
To put it simply, there is a pride parade where I live and I always want to participate but my social insecurities prevent me from fully joining in. And later I feel bad for not doing so…
I feel a little bit of pressure to express the concept of pride and my own identity through things like pride parades, parties and celebrations. And I have trouble trying to reconcile the part of me that doesn’t want to be unvalidated by the kind of person who I’m, that being a quiet, shy, introvert that doesn’t like this sort of things and neither does think that I should be ashamed of it; and the part of me that want to be integrated in the LGBTQ community and participate in these sort of experiences that seem fun and liberating but sometimes feel a little bit overwhelming…
And, yes I get there are nuances to this, it’s not the only way to express queer identity, and I’ve also been trying to find other activities related to pride and LGBTQ issues that are more suitable to me… but this problem is still present…
I know that there are a lot of LGBTQ and introverted people in this site, so I guess I’m asking… Does any one else feel like these? If so, how do they manage to get over these strugles?
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I must say I that while I joined the gay rights movement as soon as I got to university I never participated in a pride parade until my time as a political aide and then I was going with colleagues to show the “face and flag of party”. As I wasn’t very muscular or wealthy back then I also simply wore slacks and a long-sleeve shirt.
Not all of us like the pride parades, especially as in the western countries they increasingly become just another celebration, perhaps even another national holiday if my own party has its wet dreams come true over the objections of conservative economists.
Now I do remember back when I first joined in 2001 I just helped make signs and banners for our last really politically significant parade before the 2002 legalisation of gay marriage and the attendant anti-discrimination act.
Over here I say nowadays the pride as more of another festival even if it does still have a useful purpose in reminding the rest of the country and the media we still exist as a (social and political) force.
Like I said, I started with signs and banners and taking notes at committee meetings then I moved on to legal aid, which is largely where I still contribute today. If you’re not an extroverted activist don’t feel obliged to become one.
In many western/ first world countries we are now in the fortunate enough position that we do not have to engage in street-level activism if we do not want to do so, which can be a godsend for the more introverted among us.
I speak from experience that you do not need to be overly extroverted in order to integrate into the LGBTQ community, in fact if things like pride parades make you unduly nervous your fellow attendees will pick up on it and that may hinder rather than help the integration and acceptance you seek.
If you do want to go, I would suggest finding a group to go with as for the non-extroverted, non-supermodels going solo the first time is not recommended. As I mentioned above the first two times I went it was actually in my function as a political aide to do outreach for our Green party and thus I got to go with colleagues as a group.
I’ve since been back half a dozen times but always with a friend or a small group but I will probably never be a very regular attendee and I don’t see anything wrong with that.
So I guess this whole lengthy trip down memory lane for me just boils down to the advice that if you don’t want to go by yourself find and integrate into a smaller group first and then, when you’re ready, take it to the next level, whether that is the pride or something equally populated.
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Simply put. You don’t need the huge festivities if you’re overwhelmed by it. You can start with baby steps first. In my first SF pride I saw some people doing face paints and that was extremely less overwhelming than joining my friend on a float in the actual parade or getting drunk in the middle of Market St wearing 50 pounds worth of Rainbow beads necklaces. Just find something within our comfort zone and slowly progress from there or if you don’t want to participate in certain activities, you don’t have to.
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This is my first post on the forums even though I’ve been here since 2013 However, I had an experience tonight that I just need to get off of my chest. My fiancé and I went to see the new It Chapter 2 movie. We live in Kentucky, but I have never had too much trouble for being gay. During one scene of the movie though, Where the gay man is beaten and killed, roughly ten people stood up and cheered. I have never been so disgusted by people in my life. And through the entire movie, I kept hearing teenagers using f****t to describe another character. This is my first time really encountering homophobia and I was just shocked that people still behave that way.
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Ugh, cheered??? Holy crap. I found that whole scene really hard to watch and even teared up, but thankfully did not have the experience of anyone being vocally happy about it (we’re in the Louisville area). Even though I know that scene was taken from the book and this sort of hate is sadly still relevant today, I do feel the film failed to put it into proper context. If homophobes can watch your scene and cheer without shame or self-reflection, then I really feel it’s exploitative of token characters rather than true representation, which in turn can be dangerous as it normalizes or even celebrates that kind of violence.
I’m sorry to hear that you had that experience. I hate to think how it would feel to be on the receiving end of the real thing rather than watching third person in the (relative) safety of a theater, though as a woman who is perceived as not always “gender conforming,” the possibility of encountering something like that is a legitimate fear. 
I found this article that I think articulates some of what bothered me about it better than what I feel capable of expressing here while also comparing it to King’s original story if anyone else might find it interesting (beware of spoilers for those who have not seen it yet):
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I was in Bardstown (like 45 minutes from Louisville). It’s much more progressive than the small town I am from and it honestly shocked me. After calming down, I started to panic some too. These people cheered over a gay man dying. Like literally stood up and clapped and whooped when it happened. The scene itself was uncomfortable but I felt like it was at least bringing awareness until just now and I agree that something wasn’t portrayed right if it’s making the audience believe that was a good thing. It just scares and angered me. Apart from being disowned by my blood relatives (very few I ever even cared for), this was my first real experience with homophobia beyond using derogatory words.
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It looks like the specifically transgender thread has been closed, so I guess this would be the best thread to ask this question in:
In my current game, I was thinking about including the “naked at school” dream, but I was wondering whether that would be something far worse for a transgender or nonbinary player than for a cisgender one. The dream is supposed to be somewhat discomforting, but I am worried that it could end up being unintentionally triggering (using the real definition of the word), and that’s certainly not something I want.
Does anybody have any thoughts on this? Would it be better to just put the MC in their underwear, or would this be just as bad?
Thanks. 
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This might sound like a hard to comprehend complaint…I don’t like it when people who know that I’m transgender refer to me in a “Oh, you’re LGBTQ.” way. Because I’m not.
LGBTQ is a group. It’s not a individual, nor does it sum up a singular person’s identity. There are people who make it a part of their identity. There is also many, many, people who have no association with it and just happen to be lesbian, gay, or transgender. They are individual people with their own characteristics and who they are isn’t summed up by whatever their leaning is.
This shouldn’t be taken as a comment to the organization itself. It’s not about any single group so much as it is about the notion that whatever someone’s preference is, they MUST think and act like everyone else who shares a similar one. If someone took a look at a straight man and without knowing a single other fact about them, said “Oh, you’re MRA.” everyone would call that ridiculous for obvious reasons.
This strikes me as all the more jarring is to hear it from other people like me, since part of the implications come off as they believe the same stereotypes and concept that we must act in a certain manner about themselves.
It’s entirely possible that I could be thinking of it in the wrong way or entirely misguided. I just feel that while the notion is that it comes off as supportive to label anyone under those terms because it’s what they know, there’s a potential of detracting from an individual’s own value.
To clarify, I guess my exact question is, if most of us are smart enough to know it’s acceptable people for to act how they want and that’s cool, why still treat the community as a collective rather than focus on someone’s individual merits?
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I would respond by saying: It depends on how you write it.
If you focus is purely on the body and its nakedness, I think it would be extremely triggering for those suffering from extreme body dysphoric feelings.
If your scene focuses on something other than the body, for example, by focusing on the fact that the MC is giving a speech in front of the graduating class … it would be less triggering.
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My first thought is It is truly necessary for your story? Really bring something that increases the value of the game? Helps to the growth of the character?
You won’t like to hear this but i will tell you anyway. The answer is no, i mean you game is a light story with humour. A scene like that won’t bring anything to the table and worst would make people feel you are mokering them.
I am not trans and in a story like yours I won’t find it cool in a kid, another thing were if you were doing a horror or a dark gore stuff. But in your game doesn’t have sense , because is too young
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imma second @Eiwynn. (tho sry, i’m not familiar with the story so i can’t offer more specific input). i think a comedic tone is the one most likely to not be upsetting to trans and nb folks–but only depending on what the butt of the joke/punchline is intended to be.
regardless of tone, i think it could work if the focus of the embarrassment is not the MC’s body and not just being naked in front of your peers, as opposed to the absurdity of just being naked in class at all? i’d recommend making the whole scene a little surreal, if that makes sense? orrrr just keeping the MC in their underwear, def sounds less worrisome.
i get what you mean, but i do think it’s fair to point out that this is sort of an American media trope, a lighthearted one that would obviously not be lighthearted IRL. but yeah, that kinda brings me back to my original point a bit… i worry it could only ever have the traditional “funny” interpretation if someone is familiar with the trope or if it was happening to a cisgender character that people aren’t playing, esp not as themselves.
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Sorry to interrupt, but reading the comments made me wonder, why not change the point of the dream. Since it is about a kid, you could make everyone else naked, but not the kid. In the age before showing interest in others most kids find naked people funny or disgusting, so the dream would be strange but not really triggering.
It could also make a little fun on this strange tip, if you are scared to talk in front of strangers you should try to imagine them naked or in underwear, never heard such a dumb advise^^
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I should note that it would just be mentioned, almost in a by-the-way fashion, as the third in a list of embarrassing problems (you’re late to class, and also you forgot your homework, oh and also you’re naked), before the dream continues elsewhere.
Not really. 
It’s just supposed to be a dumb cliché bad dream that leads into the actually important dream.
That is a good point. 
I like the idea of this… 
Sadly, it doesn’t really feel like it fits with the scene.
But, yeah, looking at responses, I’ll probably just stick to having them in their underwear. Thanks everyone for the input. 
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Oh, what if you’re in an outfit that’s highly embarrassing, but for a different reason, like being in a clown suit or a chicken costume or something? 
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That is tons better that way people won’t feel mocked or something and you get the reaction you want
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One thing to keep in mind is that for some closeted trans PCs this is basically a dream about outing yourself.
If you’re just going for embarrassing, somewhat discomforting dreams, I’d suggest picking something that’s equally traumatic for everyone.
I like @TSSL’s suggestion.
You’re late to class, you’ve forgotten your homework and oh, you’re wearing a giant rubber chicken costume is absurd and funny for everyone.
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