Okay, but I highly doubt the author was using these sources, as a reference to where he got the term sellsword, or the others for that fact. My original criticism was never should he be using these terms at all, because its copying someone elses work. Only these terms are already very commonly used and known in a different massively popular fantasy series. And by using different either original terms, or more unique terms from historical sources would be something to think about. I was just offering some light constructive criticism, it was not meant to be like a, “I gotcha”, sort of accusation. Im beating a dead horse here, but that was my intention.
3 Likes
Excellent so far, can’t wait to see more.
3 Likes
I didn’t go with the sorcerer, I went with the merchant woman that had a bodyguard; I’m liking it so far, but I’d like it even more if it had save slots.
2 Likes
Just going to put the following here for context and relevence:
In modern literature, Ser can be found in Greg Bear’s The Way novels, starting in 1985, which is a full decade before Game of Thrones.
In games, such popular titles such as Dragon Age Origins and Crusader Kings both use the title within.
I think @unoriginal_username 's solution of: Sir/Dame/Knight Firstname fit this narrative quite well and I appreciate him listening to feedback the way he has, out of the gate.
12 Likes
I just added a quick minor update which I believe fixes this.
I also re-positioned some blocks of code to make it so that in any future instances of this bug, it won’t default to the scene with the sorcerer and will instead default to the scene where the MC has dinner with their family and goes to bed alone.
Please let me know if this bug happens again. And if it does, please let me know the series of choices (including your stats) which led you there.
Regarding the suggestion of save slots - I might try to put a checkpoint system in at some point. I don’t really know how to do that yet and the game is not yet long enough to justify it, but it is something that I will look into in the future.
7 Likes
I’m so excited to see how the story will turn out to be!
1 Like
A good read, all in all. I find myself wistfully going back to The Great Tournament and Lords of Aswick as I read through this work, with the classic medieval fantasy twist on it.
I liked the lore dump, and find the Sorusian Empire comparable to the Roman one.
The story was immersive enough and flowed well, with the narration being crispy and to the point without unnecessary flourishes.
I would suggest thinking about making a map of the world for easier player reference and a save system in the future demo (it’s actually one of the easier things to get done in Choicescript, God help us)
Keep up the good work, the magickal twist on the entire story seems interesting enough and stands it apart from your normal medieval fantasy IFs. Ave 
Edit - I saw you you were wondering about how to implement save slots
4 Likes
Also please note that Dashingdon use outdated Choice game, the newer one is Cog demos, so some coding may come with an error (just letting author know because this happen at other WIP)
1 Like
I have a question.
Does the republic of Daralt claims to be democratic? Or they don’t try to put up that kind of facade?
1 Like
They do not. The Republic of Daralt has only ever presented itself as a republic and an oligarchy. The idea of a democracy on a nation-wide scale doesn’t really have a strong foundation in this setting yet.
The High Assembly consists of the following groups:
-Titled nobility, who hold the largest portion of the seats.
-Navy Captains. Each individual ranked captain or higher on service within the navy is entitled to their own seat.
-Wealthy merchants who (legally) pay their way into office.
-District Representatives. Each district of the city can also elect a representative to sit on the Assembly, but you can only vote or run if you have lived in that district for more than five years, are literate, and own land within said district. This excludes the vast majority of the city’s population from the vote, gives zero representation to commoners outside the city, and elections in the poorest districts are basically a sham.
-The city’s bishop is entitled to a seat.
-All other members of the High-Council are entitled to a seat if they don’t already have one, but this is usually irrelevant (except for the office of Lord-Sorcerer) because the Assembly almost exclusively votes titled lords/ladies to the other offices.
-Special commendation seats can be granted via vote to individuals who do a great service for the Republic or the City of Daralt. This is typically only granted to people who are of national hero status. This is a rare occurrence and there’s usually only 1-3 of these individuals alive at any given time.
-The Ambassador from Darmoor is also entitled to a seat.
The High Council is the highest governing body, and each individual is elected by the High Assembly. Each one is (supposedly) an expert in a specific field and holds authority over an aspect of the city’s governance. Some of these positions are mere sinecures, some basically dominate the Assembly, while others have their influence wax and wane depending on the cunning and influence of whoever currently holds them.
19 Likes
Apologies for the long silence. Things have been going on IRL, so over the past few weeks I’ve not gotten much done.
However I intend to resume work on Chapter 2 tomorrow. I hope to have it done within a couple of weeks, but I can make no guarantees.
32 Likes
I’m about 7,000 words into Chapter 2. I’ve been struggling with writer’s block and I’ve had to redo a lot of what I did have, but I’m finally starting to settle into a groove. Expect the chapter to be done within a week.
31 Likes
Good luck, hope you add save slots asap.
6 Likes
Chapter Two is now uploaded.
27 Likes
So excited!
3 Likes
Think I’m gonna use “nonbini” to describe non-binary characters in my setting, and retroactively make edits to previous chapters.
Turns out that the word “binary” goes back a lot further than people believe, predating computer terminology, and its latin root word is “bini.”
The Sorusian Empire is very Roman Empire coded, so I feel like this makes sense.
Anyone have any thoughts on this?
On a side note, has anyone who had a chance to play managed to meet Adrianna or Belluz? They’re a bit difficult to encounter but that’s somewhat deliberate. I’d like to know early impressions on them if possible.
13 Likes
I meet Adrianna in my run and made a temporary alliance with her also read about Belluz in the chapter code. I like Adrianna just like Ludov and she kind of reminds me a bit of Pallegina. Belluz seems very suspiciously nice for a criminal and I have a suspicion that he is quite a important one too. Something unrelated to those two I wonder if we can goad the princess into a one on one fight if she takes place in the melee using the fact that we know (well my mc knows)
5 Likes
Was just playing, there seems to be a repeated loop when speaking to Belluz. I was trying to avoid asking them the “uncouth” question and what would happen if i didnt leave
5 Likes
I just identified the issue and I’ll have it fixed in the next update.
7 Likes
Awesome! Thanks for responding!
5 Likes