Knight of Greenhaven (46k words) (Chapter Two Released)

So, after years of procrastination, I have finally started work on my very own WIP.


For centuries, humanity has dominated the mainland. Under the Imperial Dynasty of House Calorex, the Sorusian Empire ruled half the known world, and dominated the rest. They had expelled the Groshubi Tribes from the Plains of Halador, claiming its fertile farmland for humankind, and they had conquered the shadowy elves of the Lithmari Isles. Those who were not broken by conquest were made to yield in other ways - an alliance was forged with the dwarves of Darmoor, while trade was established with the Orlossi.

Now, that empire is dust.

None can be certain of how exactly it happened, though all versions of the tale involve a legendary weapon with which the Sorusians had used to form their Empire in the first place. For centuries they had kept an uneasy peace through threat of fiery annihilation. But somehow, the very source of their power was turned against them.

A wave of fire had swept the mainland, reducing most of the Empire to desolate ash. Only the Northern Marches and the lands beyond were spared. The remnants of what was once considered humanityā€™s greatest Empire splintered into quarreling successor states, while the nations they had once regarded as their lessers are on the ascent.

It has been 71 years since that catastrophic event, which is now known as the Sorusian Cataclysm. An uneasy peace has settled over the Plains of Halador, which are splintered into four realms. And it is the largest of those realms - Greenhaven - where our story takes place.


Knight of Greenhaven is a story in which you play as a newly-made knight on their way to the capital to compete in a royal tourney. As an up-and-coming knight, your aim is acquit yourself well - perhaps even well enough to earn the favour of the royal family. Though you will soon find yourself embroiled in affairs you could not possibly have anticipated, and stand in a position to influence the fate of your kingdom.

To play the demo, go here: https://dashingdon.com/play/unoriginalusername/knight-of-greenhaven/mygame/


Total Word Count: 46,000+

Chapters:
-Prologue (7,000+ words)
-Chapter One (19,000~ words.)
-Chapter Two (15,700~ words.)

Current Features:
-Stat page.
-Lore pages (4,000+ words.)
-Customizable Heraldry
-Name your horse.
-Choose your weapon (sword, hammer, battleaxe)

162 Likes

Looks good so far, canā€™t wait to see how it goes! (:

5 Likes

Alright after a series of growing pains I believe I have fixed every current issue.

13 Likes

Quite interesting will the story be a kinda of sandbox Knight life, like for example orc life game? Or will it be more railroaded.

4 Likes

Itā€™ll be a bit more linear. I do plan to have it open up a bit as the plot escalates, but how much it opens up will depend entirely on how good I turn out to be at coding.

11 Likes

@unoriginal_username ā€“

It is good to see the beginning of your story!

A couple of thoughts:

  • There is a lot of customization so far; well done on giving options to hook the reader into the story
  • I wish there was more available title than ā€œSerā€; as the only non-customizable part of being a knight, it sticks out more because it isnā€™t such

And as a humorous finishing note: When I read:

My mind read: Leroy Jenkins.

I do not know if that was intentional, but there it is.

I look forward to reading more and enjoy your writing style and technique in telling your story.

5 Likes

Yeah I understand that. The main issue is that Iā€™m not sure what a good gender-neutral equivalent of Ser or Dame would be for non-binary characters, so Iā€™m treating Ser as a gender-neutral title for all genders. For now.

I might change it in the future. Perhaps by letting non-binary players choose between Ser or Dame. Iā€™m still contemplating the best way to handle this so thatā€™s one area Iā€™d appreciate feedback in.

It is.

10 Likes

This might be too obvious, but why not offer the titles: Ser/Dame/Knight. Allow the reader to choose any of the three, so they would be called: Ser Name, Dame Name, or Knight Name.

You most likely have thought of this, but, again, just in case you have not yet considered it.

8 Likes

Nice to see you making a game! Donā€™t think you can hide a new Darmoor from me though

For nonbinary knight titles, you could also go with Eques, maybe? Itā€™s Latin for knight, so it might go with some of the old imperial history

8 Likes

I appreciate the suggestions. Iā€™ll be making ā€œKnight Firstnameā€ the gender-neutral variant, and Iā€™ll have female characters be called ā€œDame Firstname.ā€ This will be added when I finish Chapter 1.

12 Likes

Because itā€™s still pretty short itā€™s hard to know itā€™s good story or not but certainly the story have good premise

3 Likes

I like it. I donā€™t have any specific feedback since itā€™s still quite short, but I wish you success with the next update.

5 Likes

Iā€™ve always liked knight stories, so another one is welcome to see. Beginning looks promising, so thatā€™s nice. It was hinted at, but will we have the option to become a knight errant?

Also @unoriginal_username is that a Lion pfp? Lol not my favorite primarch but makes sense with this WIP

4 Likes

This surely have potential, the opening is at least intriguing and interesting

4 Likes

Itā€™s another ā€˜too early to say muchā€™ situation, but I always enjoy stories involving knights and such so Iā€™ll keep my eye on this.
Might want to consider getting save states up for when it begins to get longer though.

4 Likes

Something to look forward to!

Thanks for the early treat and canā€™t wait for more~

4 Likes

Is there romance in the story? A prince/princess to woo perhaps?

2 Likes

Technically, but not in any way youā€™re imagining.

There will be romance. As to who will be romanceable - Iā€™m going to wait until I start actually writing the characters and have a better grasp on their personalities and such when I decide that.

10 Likes

You had me at ā€œKnight,ā€ pretty interesting so far.

2 Likes

Quick Progress Report for the curious. Note that none of this is in the WIP yet:
-Iā€™ve expanded the Lore Section of the Stat Page, adding another 3,000 or so words worth of content regarding the Sorusian Religion and the (non-human) sapient species.
-Iā€™ve overhauled the Prologue a bit. Mostly just adding some flavour text, and tweaking a couple scenes, which amounts to a few hundred extra words worth of content. But alsoā€¦
-You will have an option to customize the heraldry of your house. Itā€™ll be fairly basic - you can pick a sigil, you can choose one colour for the sigil, and you can choose one colour for the background. Nothing more complex than this.
-Iā€™ve written around 5,000 words for Chapter 1. I want to say Iā€™m maybe a third of the way done? Iā€™m not sure.

I expect to finish Chapter 1 on either Sunday or Monday. At which point I will introduce it along with all the other changes into the game.

23 Likes