Hello everyone, thank you for reading my post! I mentioned this concept in the interest check thread, and have decided to post a short demo to gain further feedback as to whether or not I should continue with this venture. Immaculate Decay is an adaptation of a short story of the same title that I penned several years ago. At it’s heart, it is a love story, that follows the exploits of a serial killer, who feels romantic love towards the concept of death. Originally the story was voiced from a female perspective, but after viewing commentary on the forum regarding gender-locking, I have reworked the story to be all inclusive. Be advised that this work contains mature themes, including (but not limited to) graphic descriptions of violence, and murder.
It is worth noting, that I intend to complete a previously started WIP (Wellspring: Origin) before continuing full force with this project. However, I will continue to make periodic updates to this tittle, should there be sufficient interest. Thank you in advance for your feedback! (any and all feedback/criticism/inquiries welcome and appreciated!)
The demo can be found here: Immaculate Decay
The demo is too short draw conclusions, but it seems intriguing so far.
cooler me intrigued; while the demo is short to draw too many conclusions I enjoyed what was there and excited to see where it goes.
Seriously though this looks interesting and kinda reminds me of Thanos in the comics. Killing because he was in love with Death the incarnation.
You’re mistaken, nothing to see here.
I thought of this too.
I’m enjoying the disconnect between the flowery prose of the MC’s internal dialogue, and the mundanity of their spoken speech.
Looking forward to more.
I kinda want this to turn supernatural. Grim Reaper or Death appears and they want us to kill more and more so we can be closer and together except it’s all in our head.
This is a very interesting concept and the writing is really well done. Quick question, though: would you be open to the idea of Death being a lady or a man, depending on the reader’s choice?
I was intrigued by the very concept, and then the very first page of the demo had me completely. This is definitely interesting and I’m glad you included the gender-choice. Can’t wait to see where this goes!
Thank you all for the feedback! I apologize for the length of the story thus far, but my intention was to provide more of an “expanded concept” than a full demo. I will provide more content shortly. @Samuel_H_Young I will certainly expand the narrative to include options for death to be perceived as male and non-binary.
Thank you for mentioning this, as it was a chief concern of mine.
The disparity between the two, I find, is infinitely more appropriate.
It serves as a clear cut distinguisher between narration and dialogue and also as to further cement the fundamental nature of our character. Which is, outwardly placid (depending) and inwardly complex in thought and philosophy.
Woot! I enjoyed it a lot!
Are we the serial killer tat would be cool
The killer is the perspective from which the game is played. Though the narrative is written in the first person, you are in control of the story.
Hey, you posted this on my birthday. I think that’s pretty fitting since we’re both working on serial killer stories, haha.
The demo was extremely short, but I love the idea behind the relationships being based on suspicion. Good luck with the rest
@Samuel_H_Young Happy belated birthday!
I liked it the flow was good and pretending to be a good guy but expertly murdering people is so up my alley!
8/29/2018 Small update includes:
Gender option for death.
Kinda short but seems interesting.