Heavy Spoiler alarm for Sordwin and Lux!
Okay, let’s start with what the lore says about the origin of changelings (monstrology entry on doppelgangers):
The keyword here is unwitting humans, which basically means changelings are the result of r*pe (by deception). Not only that, to make things worse, changelings are born in their unchanged state. Hayden themself confirms this and it’s safe to assume they’re not lying here:
In another path, Hayden phrases it a bit differently and calls it how they look “underneath”. The entry on changelings in the book about races says:
So, we have confirmation of the true appearance of changelings.
If we put of all this together, it is highly likely that Hayden was conceived by r*pe, like most changelings probably, and their mother had no fucking idea until she saw them for the first time. Imagine being in place of that woman, that’s so incredibly disturbing, some true Eraserhead shit. But - the worst thing is, it’s not the changelings fault! There’s no reason to believe they’re born as bad people, but considering the circumstances of their birth and conception it’s not hard to imagine them easily being rejected by their mothers. And then they grow up and are shunned and mistrusted by society (which the entry confirms), of course most of them would turn to a life of crime! What else is there? It’s what they’re actually good at with their particular skill set.
There aren’t even others like them they can relate to, because they are so rare!
It’s no wonder, a changeling would start hating humans and using them! Humans (and other races) were the ones who treated them like shit first!
Moving on, another curious detail about Hayden. While they won’t get tired emphasizing how they can be “whatever you want”, their true appearance is NOT one of those options! They don’t show you their unchanged face right until they think you’re dying anyway, and if you ask me why, it’s because you won’t be able to tell anyone about it, reject them for it or make fun of it.
That IS their true face, the word used for it is “hideous”. Of course they wouldn’t show it to you, when all their power lies in their carefully crafted, androgynous beauty that is designed to lure people in. But it could also possibly show vulnerability and maybe… maybe… even a small touch of self-consciousness.
Okay, but maybe Winter actually had a nice mom, who was totally into doppelgangers and was looking forward to having a changeling kiddo, right? Well, there’s this exchange:
But even more telling the first paragraph:
And there’s always little moments that speak of untold stories and bitterness like this one, which even the narrator picks up on (it’s their reply when asked if they often impersonate their boss / Imperion):
Is there a lot of fan theory on my part involved? Yes! Of course! But it’s not like I’m pulling this out of nowhere, it’s all right there and makes a lot of sense.
Having said all that: I don’t care. I don’t believe Hayden can be “saved” at this point and I don’t want to save them and have them fall victim to the “saved by the power of love” cliché. They’re evil now, and that’s fine. Loving them doesn’t make me a bad person; they’re not real.