I died and got reincarnated in an otome game, but now i’m the villain!
Synopsis
Who would though your life would have such dramatic change? At one point you are working at a animations studio, and then you just died. And you didn’t even hate your life. The biggest irony? You reincarnated at the same game you were previous working in. And the cherry on the top? You’re the villain of this story. Prologue completed, with a total of 20k words (without code)
Will it was interesting but I have a few questions what are the states going to be like because I have noticed something like you have learned how to invest thing and I have suggestion I think you should give the game a read yourself so you could see any spelling issues because I have seen some and when it comes to the overview of the three days it kinda get written a second time
Good so far. Kind of ironic eventually waking up in the game we saved. We either indirectly saved ourselves in this new life or screwed ourselves over. MC isn’t a quiter regardless so bring on the new life. Hopefully we can customise our character with our skills being brought with us. I’m guessing stats menu isn’t ready so yet cos it doesn’t work.
Forgive me for being blunt but are you sure you’re the right person to be pointing out spelling mistakes given how poorly written / coherent your own comment is? This isn’t a personal attack, my point is that people need a certain mastery of the language to be able to identify what is wrong. Your poor English makes you an unreliable critic in regards to grammar.
I will. I did a little already and noticed severals. Soon i will try to fix it.
About the status. I actually still thinking about that. I don’t want to be status heavy, so probably won’t have the opposed status thing. I think about focusing on the MC choosing traits, like the ones you mention. But let’s see how it goes .
It will. I will add a status page soon too. Still without the customization tho, because you know… you die. So it doesn’t really matter until you get reincarnated.
In a big estate, of a kingdom that shones with a celestial light,
I feel like “shines” sounds better here.
Head heading straight toward the ground,
I recommend “head hurling straight towards the ground” instead.
the impact certain would kill.
“the impact certainly would kill” or “the impact would certainly kill”.
Yet, the thud was so loud, that attract every attention.
“That it attracted every attention.”
rush toward the fallen body, immediately carrying to the nursery
“immediately carrying it to the nursery” (normally it would be “him” or “her” but this matches the tone of the story)
The life of a different child; a teenager; a adult
“a teenager, an adult” I think.
== Prologue ==
The birds sings outside
“sing”
You do not find,
“You don’t find it” or “You give up when you don’t find it.”
===
That’s all I had time to find / write for now.
Also, I recommend you include proper capitalization, finish sentences with punctuation and avoid abbreviations or modern slang too much. Things like capitalizing your "I"s, “Man WTF. Why is it so hot today?” and the third response “I hate this” (no period). It looks more professional done this way.
Alot of typos but I’m interested. I really wanna know about the power system. Are we gonna have different power choices or a set one? (hopefully not ice) are play styles just weapons or can get like a iron or dragon scale body power and start martial arts? Are there poly routes?? P.S. boss lady is the wife so she HAS TO COME TOO. Can’t give a man a sweet beautiful woman then take away .
I really like the story, especially more since it’s rare to find something like these in the wild. Yeah, there’s the grammar that needs to be talked about but since it’s likely your first time, then it’s okay so long as it is fixed at a later date.
Now, I do hope that the person we become in our transmigration is gender selectable so that I can get that trope of a male becoming a female (and vice versa) and see some text about having their mind and body in dissonance with each other.
Will it is to be expected after all English is not my language and because of that I wanted the author to read the game so if they find anything they don’t like they can deal with it
Hii. About the powers, one of my inspirations is the: Villainess level 99. So Im at least inclined to put a darkness power, but Im still thinking about it. For now I’m not thinking about putting a poliromance (I don’t even know how to write a romance to be sincere), but maybe in the future. And the boss, yes, she’s definitely one of the ROs, but because of her “position” she will not appear until a little later in the story.
It was actually one of my ideas in the beginning, especially because it would be something relatable if the MC were trans. But I don’t think I would know how to write something interesting with it, so I abandoned the idea. But maybe in the future, If I improve my writing enough.
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