This is the first ChoiceScriptGame that I publish, it’s called Home: Let’s Go Back. I would love to get any kind of feedback from you!
I plan on making 2 different books and this is the first chapter from the Home Series. The story is still in progress, so not much to play. In the updates, the story might even change a little.
Story
Genre
Fantasy
Isekai
Romance
Superpower
Short Story
You are a regular human being minding your own business. One day when you walk down the streets, a light suddenly flashes you, you blink for a second. When you opened your eyes, you were in a different room. What you know, a God called Lupus, had teleported you and the other 100 people to Parlan. He requested you to kill the Demon Lord within 2000 days. What will you do? Will you kill the Demon Lord and save Parlan? Or will you live as a normal living being? Or do you want to find a way back home? The choice is yours.
Warnings!
The Hardcore RPG world detected that the games would almost depend on the player levels and stats in the future. Be aware of that!
Gameplay
General Features
Other Features
Other
Characters
Jobs
Maps
For now, I will not input any maps in the topic as it’s not yet done.
Update Log
Thread Update
August 13th 2021
September 20th 2021
Story Update
Update on 13/8/2021:
Longer prologue when you’re still on Earth.
Update on 20/9/2021:
New character introduces.
Change of storyline.
Game Update
Update on 13/8/2021:
Customize age around 10 to 22 years old.
More realistic features: monthly money with specific currency around the world.
More detailed PC’s customizing. (more details on General Features)
More choices are available for you to choose from.
Narrator talk mode ON or OFF.
Update on 20/9/2021:
1 country update: Portugal.
Family bug is fixed.
Next Update
For 20/9/2021:
Completing chapter 1.
Some countries update: Portugal. (please either dm me or reply, if you want your country to get featured or updated)
Family bug fix.
Incoming updates:
Battle scene.
General scene in town.
Etc.
Demo Demo word count: 9325 (excl. cmds)
Current project word count: 10974 (excl. cmds)
Update schedule: once a month.
Latest update: 20th September 2021
Quick question, will we be able to strike a between living a “normal life” and killing the demon king, I want to be able to be strong and adventure but without having to kill them. Also is it possible to be solo instead of being in a party? If not it’s fine
I’m sorry, but this story consists of a leveling system. So you had no choice to kill in order to get stronger. And yes you can go solo instead of being in a party.
No I’m completely fine with the killing I was just wondering if we have to go the route of killing the demon king in order to be stronger, like can I be adventurer or a some kind of mercenary. Or is it possible to actaully side with the demon king
Haha, my apologies. Yes! You do not have to kill the demon king, you can just live normally as an adventurer, but not as a mercenary. It’s possible to side with the demon king, but to go there, first, you need to be a high-level adventurer since the demon continent is full of high-level monsters.
Firstly, loving what’s here so far. I do however have a question. When you choose your job for the ID, would there be an option of being a Swordsman and a Mage in one? Like an Arcane Warrior from Dragon Age?
I didn’t want to put this on the list (want to give you a surprise for the full gameplay), but since you’ve asked, might as well give the explaining (might as well put it on the topic). You can choose one out of 5 jobs as a side job, the 5 job I said here is different from the 7 I gave in the list.
Thank you for the feedback! I might make an alternative route, so the MC can meet up with the demon king in the early chapter.
Why are you a kid? Can’t you choose if you are a student in school, uni or a young adult heading to their first job? I’m 38 myself and, personally, find it a bit odd playing a kid. Not saying it a bad idea, just think it would be a better option to give free reign to the player to have the choice. Again I’ll say I love what you’ve got so far, so please don’t be disheartened by my comment here.
Has promise but my brain is kinda dead at the moment lol so going to try to sleep some and gather my thoughts as best I can. So hopefully later on will have a responce to what I saw
I’m highly uncomfortable with you describing Michael as ‘the big black guy’ I’ve yet to play through the game but as a POC that one fragment puts me on guard.
I’m sorry to hear that , I didn’t mean any offense towards any race. I will change it to just ‘the big guy’, I’ll leave the skin tone on the illustration. Thanks for the feedback!
Edit: I’ve changed it to ‘the big guy’ and sorry once again , I really didn’t mean any offense here. Hope for more responses from you!
Hey Lian, congrats on getting a demo out! I hope you don’t mind if I drop some of my thoughts down here.
Writing
Your prose has some ways to go, but the more you read and write, the better you will be at it. I reccommend using the 5 senses (sight, touch, smell, hearing and taste) to make your writing more vivid.
You tell a lot instead of showing. The beauty of writing is when the reader can truly immerse themselves in the story without being told point-blank.
There’s quite a lot of missing punctuation marks and capitalization errors.
Suggestions
I think it would be good to have a choice for not having bacon for breakfast. Not everyone is allowed to/wants to eat meat, I imagine.
Emojis/kaomojis in the writing is a little… immature? If it’s your personal writing preference, then by all means, feel free to disregard this thought.
Minor spelling error:
“Yes, as in “He” it’s the God Himself, Lupus,” she asnwered.
I do like the worldbuilding and isekai premise. It’s just hard for me to get into it with the writing so far. I hope that I’ll be able to see your writing improve the next time I give this a read