After I choose my hair colour, I’m presented with a bunch of options. I assume this is skin colour, but you never wrote anything, so you should probably describe what I’m choosing. Also, I’m still getting cromson instead of crimson and I suggest you revise this paragraph.
“That’s one of the smartest things I’ve heard of all day.” The woman grins and appraises your figure, possibly to assess your strength. “Mercenary work is easy to find try the Wharf. If you make a name for yourself, then I might contact you with some work of my own. Personal or otherwise.” She winks, her long lashes brushing the pale color of her cheeks
There is a break in the sentence after find, another break after you and a break after or. Also, you need to add a period to the last sentence.
Whew! I’m tired!
I’ll go back to proofreading in the morning. See you later!
We must have not added the text for the skin color option, so we’ll get on that. Thanks for bringing that up! And yes, cromson. You know, cromson.
In other words, we will fix that 
Thanks for all of your reading! It really helps. I’m looking into things right now 
“Nice to meet you Levi.” She nods to you and then turns her face down with a chuckle. “Luckily for you, you’re not who I’m looking for. I’m Catherine. Catherine Chambers. And I must tell you that it’s incredibly blatant that you’re new to Flatbreak. So tell me,” She looks you up and down, trying to judge your usefulness toher. “What do you want to accomplish here? Why would anyone willingly come to this hellhole”
Just needs a space to make it to her.
I said that my name was hailing from the far east but then decided to go back and the option for that is lacking a space between I and some other word.
It sounds good, while it is too early to say anything for certain, I see potential…
Thank you! That means a lot
Week 2 update is out 
I actually just got the script
I’m going to start coding it immediately.
Ideally it will be done tomorrow.
With the help of a few cups of coffee and some free time.
Ideally there would be an actual update to the game every week, but life tends to get in the way of things, so I can’t promise a new update every week (although that would be ideal). My weekly updates are just to ensure to others that yes, it’s still in progress. It also gives an idea as to what you guys can expect
I updated the game.
Now I have coffee to get.
(Maybe I should recant my “get all updates out the day I get the script.”)
Then I will fix any errors found.
Then do other stuff.
Then if I’m lucky.
Sleep.
I found an error when it says “Two young boys, dressed all too well in crisp linens and shining leather accents, ran out of the car. Coming after them was a young woman, looking all too frazzled” This isn’t an error per se, it just seems kind of repetitive to me.
Also when it describes the couple on the platform, it says “trousersm” instead of trousers, then says “arpund” instead of around.
And just a general note, the tense of the story gets mixed up. Sometimes it’s present tense, and sometimes it’s past, which gets kind of confusing. Like in this paragraph: “After a minute, she reopens her eyes. A moment of silence passes. Her brow was furrowed in confusion, and her face offers nothing but more of the inscrutable quality you were sure she was known for”. It kind of leaves me confused as to what tense the story should actually be in.
Hope this helps!
This was in the previous update as well, but I’m curious.
The woman from the beginning says “I should say your charms are wasted, but at thirty two years old, it’s quite flattering really.”
She’s acting like 32 is really old. How old exactly is the mc in this? Couldn’t be younger than 25 if you pick the “grizzled” option rather than the “young techy” option, right?
You’re sure that she would typically respond to such an obvious advance, but instead, she simply leans back into the corner of the benchm a look of pure concentration on her typically hardened features dominating her face. Catherine taps a manicured finger on her chinm and then turns to meet your eyes once more.
“The goddesses see potential, so I will as well.”
With that, she gets up and leaves you in the hall, petals falling from her skirtm and you wondering if any of what happened was truly real or not.
Benchm, chinm and skirtm.
What’s with the M’s?
couple, matching in simple overlapping jackets and high waisted trousersm walked hand in hand. They appeared to be in a tense discussion, and one of the men dropped the other’s hand before disappearing onto the entrance to the next platform. Human curiosity pegged you to wonder what happened, but you would never know.
In a corner, a group of men with the same shade of mahogany skin clustered arpund each other, all vehemently pointing to a ragged map. It wasn’t uncommen for men of the East to make their pilgrimage to Flatbreak, but it was odd to see so many of them at once. It was in your expierience that many of them preferred to make solo travels, as, in their Pothos religion, glory was better earned by oneself.
Trouserm and arpund.
I notice as I type for to long and get more and more exhausted I start hitting the m key instead of the , coffee doesn’t seem to help with this.
(and with coding all of this in one day there may be more M’s that I missed.)
Shortly thereafter, a crowd of people accumulated around the entrance. As it was further filledm the car almost seemed to shake from the weight. Not the most reassuring aspect.
filledm
@faewkless found the missing M’s! This is like an Easter egg hunt.
Hi guys! My name is Jenna
gasps Liar! Your name is Jierce! Don’t ask me how I know!