Eyes of Shan: Book One [WIP] (Updated 25/12/23)

@nootnoots still reading the updated demo but enjoying it over all lol but kinda sad cant kick the bucket at that minster but still i like what you did there leading up to that sqeuence of events and works quite well. Alas to sleep i need to go

Hello! I’d like to give some positive feedback on your demo.

I love the story and the characters that have been introduced so far.

The choices pertaining to how the MC feels/reacts to the Shan situation feel significant.

I like the world building as well. It feels tangible, while also leaving room for imagination in terms of colors, patterns etc.

My favorite thing: the MC is able to express a lot of different personality traits in the varying social interactions. Which is really nice to me. It is often very easy to be pidgin holed into picking the same types of choices. However, the situations presented in the story so far are so dynamic that it was just natural to pick different choices based on how I wanted the MC to come across. Great job with the story telling and choices :raised_hands:

Here are some questions I have:

  • The Shan are a specific people group. No other Shan have been described yet. Does the skin color the MC picks determine the skin color for all Shan or are those attributes not correlated?

  • As you pursue RO’s will you be able to pursue multiple at the same time? Will there be any expectation for commitment from other RO’s?

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An update for one of my favorite offerings around right now!
The change to let there be an Emperor or Empress is an interesting, but not unwelcome choice. As an enjoyer of yuri pairs, it’s nice to at least see one of the female ROs in the demo! (Though, I forget if there is another, I haven’t done my, “Go take a bath first” route yet)

There’s the occasional little error with the Empress gender still, one I managed to catch…

Your master has lamented more than once in private about the sun’s glare, but there is little more he can do about it than you. You suppose that not even the Empress is all powerful regarding some matters.

Deeply curious to see how the next chapter is going to go though, for sure. I might not get to tease Hansol as much, but it is a sacrifice I am willing to accept in the name of progress and new shenanigans!

The only thought that comes to my mind about the Samjogo is, if you play a female Commander, she seems to be the only woman in the entire unit. While I wouldn’t say this is unexpected, or very unusual, I’m curious if there is any plan for a potential Samjogo that would be a woman. While we’ve only seen a small snippet of the setting thus far, I mostly just wonder how exceptional/unusual that makes the commander as there isn’t mention or any other female soldiers in general.

I maybe had other thoughts, but they have poofed. Keep up the great work!

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Need to push it up, so more people can play the demo :grinning:

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How i feel about the name change; ( just kidding)

LeanWarmLacewing-size_restricted

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Lol and a like for the image meme

Omg I love this so much :sob::sob::sob: one of my favorite and the ROs are all so charming. I cannot choose!!!

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CHAPTER TWO (PART ONE) IS NOW LIVE!

hello everyone :wave:t2::wave:t2: the long awaited (because it’s been a while since i’ve last updated) update is here!! 35k new words have been added to the story, which brings this if to 121k words in total! :partying_face::tada:

this update contains quite a lot of wooyoung, so if you’re a wooyoung-mancer or a wooyoung-curious, there’ll be a lot of him to find out in this chapter! you might also get the chance to meet someone rather interesting :wink: still, this is not the end of the chapter - there is still more to come before we leave juhonghwa

please do delete your saves before playing since a LOT has changed with the variables since the new update, which includes a new interactive personality system being implemented!

things to expect:

  • decide how you investigate the paradise among clouds
  • learn more about this wisecracking, far too carefree young nobleman
  • meet two people with connections to wooyoung’s past
  • “and there was only one bed”
  • have a heart-stopping encounter with a mysterious stranger that you’ll never see again… right?

if possible, please leave feedback or reviews or any errors (strange breaks in story flow, bad grammar, suggestions about story pacing, etc.) so that i can refine the story accordingly!! your feedback is what keeps this story going, many thanks to all of you and i hope you enjoy what i’ve put out

wishing all of you a very happy reading!!

word count update: 90k >> 121k words (w/o code)

date: 29 july 2023

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Those attributes are not correlated! The Shan (based of Mongolians) have a rather diverse range of skin colours, so I decided to go with some ambiguity when allowing the reader to select their skin tone option. The MC’s skin tone will be within that range of skin tones.

No, you will not be able to pursue multiple ROs at the same time. You can be interested in a few, but after you have locked in the romance route with an RO, flirting with the other ROs will be closed to you.

Error has been fixed! Thank you, tech support gives you a :cookie:

Thank you so much!

:"D

I’m glad that you enjoyed it!!

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I live for this.

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Its really stupid how the mc acts like a commander and a wimp sometimes. To be intimidated by one guy when the mc is proven to be skillful enough to rise of the ranks of commander from being a slave.

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Delicious cookie, this is the best tech support reward

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@nootnoots cant give a full on thoughts at the moment but i am looking forward to seeing what comes next and interested to see how you choose to handle the next steps involving the man and more. Get the feeling what happens in this place is going to have more far reaching effects than just the immeddiate.

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Im not sure if I commented before, but I wanted to tell you how much I adore your writing. I can clearly describe everything just from the writing without it being to much.

And all the characters are very likeable, my favorite being Hansol! He is just sooo adorable.

You know I stared playing thinking I will go after the emperor/empress, until I meet Hansol and I haven’t looked back since lol

Good luck with writing!

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I immediately saw a chapter 2 and I immediately thought i’d take my money

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I would argue that this isn’t a matter of intimidation, but rather the Commander understands that the mission is at risk and that there is no way out of this situation without things escalating - it has nothing to do with skill.

thank you! of course, there will be more that happens afterwards… i hope you hang around to find out!

i’m glad you like hansol as well :") my heart has a soft spot for him!

i hope you enjoyed it!!

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Lol of course im enjoying the story greatly :smiley: am ya know not knowing all the past get this feeling that the high king just might be our person from the flash back when was younger and free.

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:heart::heart::heart:loving it so far

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