Dominion

Taking a break from my first WIP, Morsus Mihi, I’ve started working on a new one called Dominion. A (sort of) high-fantasy world where technology is in the process of transitioning from the Bronze Age to the Iron Age. It’s inspired from games such as Tyranny(a fair bit), Lords of Infinity, as well as @MahatmaDagon’s War for the West.

Dominion takes place in the fictional continent of Paradra, your story begins in a region cartographers mark as Havel. You start the game as the newly crowned lord/lady of a relatively small holding within Havel, trying to keep it all together without falling apart.

Currently, it’s only got most of the first chapter completed and the start of the second chapter done.

EDIT 10/2/19
A couple of days ago I was bored and decided to open CSIDE again, due to school and other things I had forgotten about this game. Then saw I had already done some to it changes that were never updated and decided to use those and start it from scratch again. It’s not much as I would like but I’m satisfied with it.

So couple of things

  • Updated the conversations with your cousins (Still have a couple paths the need to be finished)
  • Added another chance for players who refused to swear by their swords during the Coronation
  • Revamped the original prologue
  • Added a couple childhood scenes to the introduction
  • Finished the War room scene with Rowan
  • Also changed the name of the game to Dominion, and the continent it takes place in, Paradra

EDIT 7/26/2020
Better late than never. Some stuff happened that delayed finishing and posting the update. The main things are I added a workable stats page that’s a work-in-progress and finished Chapter 2. Chapter 3 is where things start getting interesting. And before I start working on that giant, I need to tie-up
some loose ends.

For a while, I’ve been working on implementing an economy. Fortunately, it’s almost done. I also want to double-check any inconsistencies with the story or the lore. That way I can go about completing the stats page, especially with the glossary and persons of importance. There’s more of course, but this is all I could think of for now.

Other details

  • Tons of fixing minor grammatical details
  • Completing descriptions for childhood skills
  • Polishing and improving some of the stat checks
  • Fixed a few errors
  • You can look at your skills now!

https://dashingdon.com/go/4011

114 Likes

Will all the geographical features be named for famous real-world leaders? I’d find that a bit distracting, unless there was some in-game or thematic reason for it.

13 Likes

To start off, this is a fantastic start; I’m a huge fan of Tyranny and games similar to it.

Some Grammar/Continuation/Errors:

https://imgur.com/a/WzMsx7C : “too” should be changed to “to”

https://imgur.com/a/mVNim53 : “their” should be changed to “there”

https://imgur.com/a/d2rpwtW : Some code ended up visible

https://imgur.com/a/qu1hKoF : Two “the”

https://imgur.com/a/s5ZQpiy : “questioned” should be changed to “question”

https://imgur.com/a/7eBTtNC : The “a” is unnecessary

https://imgur.com/a/N38HNUe : Elsewhere is one word

https://imgur.com/a/sEaRDrW : The “a” is unnecessary

https://imgur.com/a/tU9ZHqm : Should either be “It is my” or “It’s my”

https://imgur.com/a/PRXM20J : Line break leaves a wide open gap

https://imgur.com/a/lLEG6Wa & https://imgur.com/a/sPJeABK : Post coronation, I was referred to as “Lord” even though I was playing a Lady.

https://imgur.com/a/tGeIYho : “an” should be changed to “a”

https://imgur.com/a/x7geepr : Rowan (I think? Whoever is talking to you about the army) breaks the fourth wall by stating that “beginning game this army is only 800 strong”.

https://imgur.com/a/6BkXRul : “an” should be changed to “a”

https://imgur.com/a/8ZKvspx : “convince” doesn’t fit here. Convene is a more accurate term.

https://imgur.com/a/nUQcB9J : My land was referred to as “Unknown”

Another Note:

You are immediately killed if you refuse to swear by the sword at your coronation. This felt kind of odd, seeing as they were just about to make me their Queen/Ruler. I don’t feel as though someone would execute the queen at their own coronation for not swearing by the sword. Maybe some dialogue about why you refuse to swear by the sword, or a warning that the only alternative is death would make this interaction feel a bit better.

I hope you continue to develope the game, as like I said I’m a huge fan of Tyranny and other games where you can rule over a land/kingdom and make choices regarding your rule.

4 Likes

Yeah, I have agree with Askin.

Summary

I do find it rather incredible that your uncle murders you before the whole court simply for not speaking words, especially considering his promise to your mother / father. I would have expected your uncle be rather surprised to hear you refuse, giving you that imploring look to just do it, perhaps even sighing in exasperation before proceeding to whisper:

“Please, dear niece / nephew, just speak the words. I understand your feeling, given our family history, and there will be time to correct that, I promise you, but for now, please, just set your pride aside and speak the words. You cannot rule until you do, so make this moment easier on the both of us, please.”

Then you should just be made to do it, no option to sabotage yourself after that.

4 Likes

Me three have to agree with that sudden death. Like… Jesus… did we flip some sort of kill switch? Is there some custom I’m not aware of that demands that those that refuse be put to death? Did I miss that?

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I’m curious about the title- is it “AD” as in “2019 AD”?

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Sorry for the late reply guys, let me try to clarifying somethings!

First of all, thank you for the Grammar/Continuation/Error report, it really does help a lot and make things easier for me. Second, I’m glad to find a fellow fan of the Tyranny, I’ve always felt the game was underrated considering the rich story and lore it has (You’ve probably noticed there’s a lot of elements in the game, similar to Tyranny).

Regarding the sudden death scene, I had intended for it to show the seriousness of the scene, not mention the moment you hand over the sword to Rowan there is no backing out. In order to become crowned, you must make the oath :sweat_smile:. H

You and @Askin do have a good point, perhaps the scene is too sudden and out of context considering Rowan’s promise to your parent. I’ll definitely take a note from your suggestion regarding how to handle the refusal (something to see in the next update!)

Regarding customs, well…

"Such an oath is not broken easily nor trifled with," Rowan relinquishes the sword from your grasp, before rising to ${sib1_his} feet. $!{sib1_he} presses the tip slightly to the left of your chest, where beneath lies the heart. A gentle reminder, once handing over the sword, you hand your life too. 

Nope, I was trying to be a little clever using a play on words. AD is short for Anno Domini, it’s a Latin phrase meaning “in the year of our Lord”.

Not quite sure what you mean, are you referring to the three different regions to choose from at the beginning? Or the locations of the 7 great nations listed during the explanation of Havel?

At any rate, It wasn’t my intention to name some of the geographical features after famous real-world leaders (I’m curious to know which ones though :smile:), and I will not be naming them all after real-world leaders.

3 Likes

That’s what I was wondering- as is it’s a little like “ATM machine” and I wasn’t sure if that was intentional or not.

Caligula was the name of one of Rome’s worse Emperors.

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@Malvastor
Wow, that’s a really good coincidence, you’ll have to take my word when I say this was not my intention: joy. Thanks for clearing that up for me.

The way those customs are written makes it sounds more like a trust/symbolic thing rather than… well, requiring that you get stabbed in the heart.
Good Lord, is our uncle out to kill us? Did we pull a Tyrion Lannister and stuff his boots with goat feces and he’s holding it against us? What the hell…?

chuckles aloud. Funny though that would have been, probably not. In fact, it is rather incredible that your Uncle honours his promise to your mother / father and actually gives you the throne, showing that he is indeed entirely devoted both to you as well as to your mother / father. Rowan is your most devoted and loyal subject, who would follow you into the jaws of hell and back, and would sooner stand with you in raising a rebellion against your family’s masters than to kill you for refusing to take an oath. It seems the author was just a bit too zealous in making the moment a serious one.

But Rowan need not kill you by refusing the oath. He could have killed you long before that. After all, he has had your entire upbringing to cement himself upon the throne. He could have chosen to marry, to produce his own heirs, and, once those heirs were born, to dispose of you quietly so that you need never challenge him or his children for the right to rule. This is something that has happened in real history, and the fact that Rowan doesn’t do any of these things shows that he is purely true and honest, loyal to you and to your mother / father utterly.

Anyone would think of your Uncle the complete fool for willingly passing this golden opportunity to seize the throne for himself and his children, and all almost in a completely bloodless fashion too. I look forward to seeing how our author chooses to develop our Uncle’s character. He is unique, for certain.

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There’s a lot I liked so far – the backstory of our parent and the setting overall, the ability to choose our age, and the characters we meet (especially Rowan). It’ll be interesting to see how the MC’s age affects the story. I’m glad there’s going to be a glossary and character information in the stats screen because a lot of information is thrown on to the player in these first chapters.

A few things -

I see you’ve already talked about it, but when I first saw the title I thought it was set in a fantasy version of our world during the time of the Romans – especially when I saw the summary with Caligula as the name of the continent. I sort of get the word play you’re going for, but I feel like it might cause too much confusion. That’s just me, though.

It was a bit confusing how it jumps from the MC’s customization to the parent and then back to the MC. I also thought there was a lot of customization that started to drag the prologue a bit, although I do appreciate all the options.

Keep my child safe
If you don’t want people selecting this option first and skipping all the customization, perhaps you could use *selectable_if and block it off until the other choices have been selected.

Finally, is there any way for our parent to be the king while the MC is a queen (and vice versa)?

Looking forward to deciding what to do with the military. :relaxed:

2 Likes

More like he’s out to save you. If anyone else(except for a child) had stuffed his boots with goat feces they’d be dead or likely missing a foot. Children don’t know what they’re doing so it’s excusable, a full grown man or woman is a different story.

You pretty much nailed the head on that one, let me put to you this way, to add little more perspective. If they ever had married and settled down, Rowan would have been considered something of a family man.

At one point he saw himself as the guardian responsible for looking out for all his siblings and making sure everyone got along with each other. Rowan was the second-in-command to Captain of the Household Guard (formerly Royal Guard), protecting the royal family was their job.

Calamity changed all that, none of your other fathers/mothers siblings survived.

cough, cough. Sure, but it’s not like he won’t kill you if you miserably fail to carry out your duties to the House and Realm.

I aim to please, but in all seriousness, it is a relief to hear that you find the first couple of characters interesting(one of my biggest fears was creating cardboard characters). Thank you for the feedback on the information overload, I didn’t want readers to be confused and still not know what the game or setting. In the next update, I’ll be adding a bit more on to the glossary and try to ease up on the information.

Now that’d be something I would read, depending if it becomes a common occurrence for readers getting confused or mistaking the game for something else, I’ll change the name.

:sweat_smile: In my original plan, the parent scene was supposed to be a glimpse into the future of your older self. With the game later on supposedly being a sort of flashback leading back to your future/(now present self), so I can definitely understand the confusion.

Thank you for the piece of advice, I’ll definitely be implementing this in the next update

I’ll see what I can do, it shouldn’t be too hard to make that an option.
.

1 Like

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Opened At Author’s Request

Love the idea of this can’t wait to see more.

Something fascinating is that leather armor was supposedly not very wildly used because making actual leather armor which was more similar to plate than anything else was both time consuming and expensive and leather armor that was basically a leather jacket would be only mildly better than wearing normal cloths (If my sources are to be trusted anyways)

Standard armour was a Gambeson with Chainmail hauberk or a Brigandine in early medieval later on it was splint armour with plate and chainmail and high medieval was half or full plate armour.

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a brigandine was a riveted metal chest plate if I am not mistakes