Devil's Way [Working Title - WIP]

Hosted Games Works In Progress
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I’ve always had a soft spot for the sensual demonic sorts, but then again I’m a long time oWoD player (Old World of Darkness), and often played an infernalist (demon worshiper), which often delved into sexual and/or sensual realms and/or just the outright brutally twisted and disturbing and/or dark mystical occultic arenas. It’s always a fun thing to play around with, and succubi (or incubi pending your flavor) always tends to make going those avenues the best modus operandi because they’re the most open, i.e. they play off of their victim’s desires (whatever they maybe, it does not always need to be sexual, though they may use sexuality as a means to coax out their victim’s desires).

@Katgirl64 & @FairyGodfeather I really liked Isabella. :frowning: Taming the pirate queen was fun. Besides, Zevran wasn’t that loyal, I had many playthroughs where when he was granted his second opportunity to kill me by his Crow cohorts, he took it. That isn’t that loyal in my playbook (albeit, whether they betray or remain loyal all depended upon how much influence you bothered to garner with them). :stuck_out_tongue:

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@FairyGodfeather 1. Yeah, my English isn’t that great, but I’m working on it, at least.

  1. Yeah… Well, I’ll think about it though. And of course, I’m not going to force the player to become gay xD

  2. Changed it to ‘rough’, better?

  3. You did, at the start when you met Aresha. You were holding on to the sword because you thought it could have been a bandit or something like that. Didn’t let go until you got one of the powers.

  4. Alright, I’ll do that, then! I’m holding it off for the moment until I get this one scene done, though, and then I’ll go back to re-edit that prologue, although this might just be me holding it off, but eh.

Thank you!

Edit: Actually no, you’ll be able to choose what ‘gender’ Aresha will be once she gets a body, to determine the player’s sexual preference. It’s an idea that just popped up anyways. Buuuuuuuut, that’s something that’s going to be included far, far later on.

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I actually liked Isabella as well, from what I’ve seen of her. I’ve not played the game, I have watched playthroughs and read summaries. So I won’t have had the full impact of everything admittedly. She seemed like a fun character though. I do have a fondness for pirate queens.

@Apillis I like those sorts of demons too. And you’re giving me ideas. Wicked, wicked ideas for my own game. I’ll be sure to add them to my idea list.

@Katgirl64 I think that it depends on the type of incubus/succubus. Some will have set sexualities, some will gender-flip themselves depending, some will pursue men, some women, some will be set in stone with their preferences.

So! Ha I want to ask is Black Magic from Heroes Rise one of those, since they look however you want them to look. Oh no… I have such wicked ideas. I think my game just got a demon.

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  1. Your English is legible and functional and with practice your writing should flow better.

  2. Don’t force the player to be straight either. :slight_smile:

  3. Should be a bit better.

  4. I did? It didn’t let me have an option to use a sword though.

  5. Just shuffle things around. Move the first scene to where it comes chronologically. I think then you get the whole WHAM YOU FAMILY ARE DEAD!!! Horror. Maybe show us what’s so appealing about our sister instead of just telling us, show us how much our family loves us. Put in a tiny scenario or something.

I’ll use Fable as the example this time. (For once a game I have played). In Fable you start off in the village, it’s idyllic, you go buy your sister a birthday present, you see your parents, the villagers, your sister. It’s such a tiny, tiny thing but it makes the massacre all the more horrifying because you saw what happened before. It makes the loss of your parents hit home with more power than just starting with you already a hero and telling you they were killed.

No need to edit right away though. Keep pushing forward to the story. Just go back and edit things when you’re stuck at points. Getting finished is more important than polishing and making things perfect.

And okay!

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Nah, it was kind of an automatic reaction in a sense to pick up your sword, it’s one in the larger blocks of writing, haha.

And yeah, I was originally planning to do something like that, but I was afraid that my prologue was already too long, I’ll add it in a while.

Thank you again!

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@Fairygodfeather well he does feed on the lifeforce of others. If the shoe fits as they say.
@apillis I do love a pirate queen. But DA:2’s characters in general bothered me. I HATE what they did to Anders and Justice. I disliked how Fenris was alway such a stick in the mud. yeah I know he was a slave and that sucks but that was well over ten years ago! I know that kinda thing generally scars people but he has such a “i’m not allowed to be happy!” why of thinking. And the end. [-( Anders: “I’m helping!” “you just killed the one woman who could have helping and put the mad woman in charge.” and the Archmage “not every Mage becomes a blood mage and to prove it to you I’m going to turn into one and beat it into you!” (plus the game was really depressing, I know some people like that but, it’s just not my cup of tea.)

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love it! love it! love it! keep at it.
:smiley:

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“Now, I want something out of you dearie, and tit’s quite important”

Hahaha! Freudian slip, was that?

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@TheCourier Thank you!

@Drazen … Damn it, I thought I fixed that xD I’m so tempted to keep it that way but, fixed it.

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Love it so far, keep it up! :slight_smile:

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@FairyGodfeather Haha. Actually, I’ve been swirling a kinda’ demonic CoG as well that touches upon the same themes, essentially taking after the WoD: Demon: The Fallen campaign, where the player plays a demon and in order to continue to thrive within this plane they need to make contracts with humans for their souls. Exactly what sort of demon–or fallen angel, rather–the player plays is up to them. That’s the basic concept of it, but I don’t have anything more than that thus far, and not going to bother with it until I get the prologue done with the current CoG I’m working on. XD

@Katgirl64 Despite it’s flaws I really liked Dragon Age 2, the deterioration of Kirkwall was an interesting tale to me. But, I have to agree… Fenris–or rather–Elf Cloud Strife… goddamn he annoyed the hell out of me, blatantly a self-righteous hypocrite, I just couldn’t take anything of what he said seriously, regardless of his “tragic” past. And Anders and Justice, I agree again, I really didn’t care for the direction they were taken in at all, and the conclusion of Anders’ actions were nonsensical, the motive made sense–the action and target themselves were thoughtless in a narrative sense. And yeah, with the Archmage, I agree again, it didn’t make sense, while it could be argued that he preached about not all mages turn to blood magic as him trying to keep suspicion off of himself and protect other mages guilty or innocent… Unfortunately, within the game it wasn’t explored too well or with much depth on the part of his character, and just wound up coming off of as though the writers were trying to have it both ways with him.

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@Apillis Fantastic! I’m looking forward to seeing that. I’m doing a World of Darkness/Buffy/various teen horror book inspired setting. Although I’m putting my own twist on everything. The ‘demon’ solves a few problems for me. Oh aha! Now I need to start a new thread.

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Chose to race the kids in town and got this “although you weren’t able to garner as much knowledge as you would have liked, you still remember bits of trivia here and there”

Since when was racing reading?

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I really like it. hope to see some more

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The beginning of this is an almost formulaic copy of Life of a Wizard; that and a story about runic knights on CYS (I forgot the name).

Small village - school activity to determine stats - parents business - bandits attack! - close relation dies - flee/leave the village - supernatural encounter.

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@WolfieGrey … Huh, something must have copied pasted wrong, let me go fix it.

@Sandstorm Thank you!

@ADNox … Ahaha… That I never knew, I never played Life of a Wizard before sooooo… I’ll see what I can do to change it a bit or two, then.

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@Random Well, I have played Life of a Wizard, in fact, it was the first CoG listed on this site that I bought. And to be perfectly candid, for anyone to say that it’s a copy of Life of a Wizard’s beginning is not only an exaggeration but a bit dishonest as well (or just plainly ignorant). Because the coming from small village, getting or looking for schooling, working at parent guardians’ business, bad guys attack, lose family and/or close relation, leave village, supernatural stuff happens… You know what also has that?

Star Wars: A New Hope

In fact it was going to be utilized for the “Farmer” origin in Dragon Age: Origins until they decided to scrap it, and keep it to the “Human Noble” background. But it too has its own similarities to this set.

It’s a common catalyst utilized in many fantasy titles, and really it boils down to execution. So, in short, just go with what you have in mind right now, and what makes the best sense for you to kick off your story, don’t sweat the details when you’re still working on the beginning of the tale. Seriously, in my opinion, it’s fine right now. Just keep doing your thing.

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I’d say that it’s more a typically generic choice game start. There’s other games that begin in a similar way. It’s also a fantasy genre staple. Start as a child, become an orphan, make a powerful friend, begin the journey to become a hero.

Now, it did remind me a lot of Eight Thrones, in that both have you approached by a demon who offers you a deal to keep you alive. But the settings are different, the circumstances are different, and it’s just a very superficial similiarity.

I didn’t think it was copying, just they were both drawing on similar influences. I’ve not played anything on CYS though so no idea about that.

So I’m going to say don’t change it. Instead just flesh things out a little. The better way to stop it seeming so similiar is to stop it being so generic, which is to add detail. Also pick what choices matter. Does it really matter what our parents business was? Will this have an impact on the story? Is it just a choice for the sake of a choice? If it is a choice for the sake of it, consider giving the parents a set business, and starting off with the protagonist helping them in it instead.

And if you wanted to define stats by that choice, well consider:

“Hero,” your father says. “We need your help in the library.”

*choice
#Help shelving the books, carrying around heavy boxes. - Strength
#Man the help desk and assist customers. - Social
#Work on the accounts/records/cataloguing - Intelligence
#Deliver books around town to those that can’t get out to the library - Speed
#No way! I’ve better things planned. Libraries are boring. I’ll trick my sister into helping instead. -

And there rather than being a generic choose your business, you’ve established a little about the protagonist and their family, you’ve introduced a family member, and you’ve given them a little sense of their life before the bandit attack. And you’ve a significant choice which impacts on stats, and also in the future it’s easier to make mention of stuff that your upbringing in a library allowed you to know. So when you go to the giant library, for instance, it will have more meaning since it calls back to your past.

Note the above is just an example. But you can do it with anything. I think sometimes not allowing choices, can actually aid better in characterisation.

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Or just go with what Apillis is saying and don’t change anything, since Apillis is great. :slight_smile:

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D’awww <3 XD