i was actually focused on the âsuccessfulâ part, hence the assumption that JM and B used to engage in some friendly competition before some kind of incident that caused B to be exiled from the group. i do believe their claim that they are not jealous of JM and his achievements (even if my MC does think that B is somewhat jealous).
Based from some of Bâs dialogue and some hints from Franzinyte, the group (or maybe just someone in the group Lily,maybe?) betrayed them and/or lied about them hence why they wanted to warn the MC about it (which is kinda shows that they care in some way).
As for the pandemic reference, i already accepted that everyone lives in a reality where the pandemic doesn't exist (so they won't suffer the same shit we're going through) but i don't mind having it as a reference so it can be an inside joke for the reader.
i picked the action where my MC gets to hug B and i didnât expect them to go soft on me. i admit i was expecting barbs and insults and man, i didnât expect to get this soft from this âŚfudge. Will there be another opportunity to hug B in the further chapters?
Other facts about my Twins:
When it comes to grades, Remy would be 12th in the roster while Ryan would be in 26th.
Ryan takes taekwondo lessons and piano lessons. He has plans to stop both lessons when once he reached high school though.
Remy is well-aware of tvtropes and draws inspiration from there. Though in reality, they go there for the spoilers.
They both have a love-hate relationship with crab and shrimp. (Peeling the shell is hard, people)
Remy likes Cardcaptor Sakura and Madoka Magica. Ryan is very concerned about Madoka (and for a good reason).
Meanwhile, Ryan likes Avatar the Last Airbender (and no, he hasnât watched Korra especially Book 3 because Patrick wonât let him.)
By college, they added another nickname to their long list of nicknames. AJ (short for Adrian Joseph) for Ryan and RJ (short for Rebecca Joyce) for Remy. i finally found a second name for them!
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHhhhhh this is wonderful!!! I started playing yesterday and I am still super excited re-playing it today. Itâs really a lot of fun! I love the concept; itâs really refreshing and interesting. All the tropes are used in a super creative way!! And the characters that have appeared so far are super lovely. Aside from MC and the twin, I love Roselyna the most so far. She is just lovely!!! It broke my heart seeing her sad stat emoji when I was playing the cold twin, I went to replay it again just so I wonât make her sad. I am getting super attached to her. Looking at the forum thread it looks like sheâs going to go through several stuffs and I am ;__; I am so scared for her.
I really love the Tagalog use!! Iâm Southeast Asian myself so being able to play a game set in Southeast Asia is a wonderful feeling. Being able to call my twin ate/kuya/kapatid is wonderful. Itâs not a term I use myself daily, but being able to call your siblings with the proper term is just exciting
ALSO everything is super pretty!!! I love the stat screen so much Took me a while to realise that your handwriting affects your stat header, that was such a nice small touch!!! Honestly I am super amazed by the amount of effort you have put into this. It makes everything much more immersive and enjoyable. I know this is going to be one of my top favourites when the full story is out ;____; iâm already having so much fun now. Iâm looking forward to it
I was super excited when I see the stroller bag option. Stroller bag!!! That really took me bag () to my childhood. It was such a hit thing back then. Everyone at my school treats it as the heights of luxury, together with those multifunction pencil cases and the branded color pencils This game really makes me feel nostalgic.
I was really surprised to find out that nobody wants to rule their own kingdom. Less competition for my MCâs twin I supposeâŚ?
I kinda feel the MC (and twinâs) name are kinda out of place, but they are my existing OCs so gotta roll with it;;; Their name are Celestyn (he/she/they) and Caelestis (he/they). Basically the same name, just different origin. No work was done there by Mama Maggie⌠and me, I guess I thought it was sorta funny tho. I⌠want to talk more about them but seeing the length of this post already makes me a little embarrassed. Maybe another time.
tldr; this was such a wondeful and creative work. I love every parts and seconds of it, and am looking forward to more!! xxxx
i remember that when i was in grade school, Faber-Castell was THE brand of coloring pencils (especially the 64-colors ones) and collecting colored gel pens was a craze.
Also, if youâre worried about your MCsâ names being out of place, remember there are parents who named their kids like Abcde, KVIIIlyn and X Ă A-Xii. Yours may be unusual but not totally outlandish.
if you have the time, give some facts about your twins. i would love hear them!
Hello everyone! I want to address a few things in this post. Iâll put these in a FAQ section when I have the time.
First, it has come to my attention that the twin reunion scene was a little unsatisfactory for cold MCs/MCs with a complicated relationship with their twin, and I plan to address that on the next update. As I said, I kinda rushed the update and it totally slipped my mind since writing the cold interactions requires me to have a different mindset. That said, the cold personality doesnât mean violent, and the MC will never be 100% antagonistic toward their friends. If they were mean all the time, they wouldnât even be in the friend group in the first place. That is not what the story is about. Of course, there will be plenty of opportunities for conflict later with the group and your twin as the story goes. Yes, the group may even split later.
So if you find a scene where the MC acts inconsistently/out-of-character, please donât hesitate to tell me! I have a million variables (customization, traits, personalities, previous choices) to keep track of, so I will definitely miss something. I love the flavor text as much as you do.
Another thing I want to address is that I wonât be making the characters into teenagers. Iâve already aged the characters up by 3 years, and unfortunately thatâs the maximum for both plot and theme related reasons. There are plenty of stories with teenagers in them. In fact, if Roselyna seems a little too childish, thatâs because I first wrote her as an 8-year-old (and trust me, she was way too bratty back then).
Regarding the pacing: Most people think itâs fine, however the reason I asked it in the survey is because I KNOW that it is slow, and with my current outline, the first act (set-up) wonât be finished until Chapter 6, when the fieldtrip starts. Iâm currently brainstorming ways to make the plot move faster (and maybe reduce a little bit of banter), but itâs mostly slow because the way I structure my scenes, thereâs barely any timeskips, since thatâs when MC usually does their internal monologue. Chapter 2 is fairly long, but hopefully Chapters 3-6 will be a lot shorter.
Replies and Comments
@TheSleepwalker Yup, youâll be able to see the first effects of the branching in Chapter 6, which will have persistent effects during the story, although it wonât actually branch out for real until the climax. Of course, youâll be able to select a different ending if youâre not happy with your initial choice.
@Mistyleaf123 Thanks for the report! The first one refers to Wayne and Roselyna though.
@Jose_Garcia Aaaah, thanks for checking out my WIP! Iâm glad you liked the writing style.
@fuciphagus AAAAAHHH right back at you! I really appreciate the long and wonderful comment! And Iâm glad you loved Roselyna and all the little details. Also, donât worry too much about Rosie, she can whack more than just bullies.
I love your twinsâ names actually! Themed twin names are common anyway, and they wonât be too out of place once the real adventure starts. Do Celestyn and Caelestis have any nicknames?
Oh, and thanks for the reports as well! They should be fixed now.
Yup! I donât think itâs spoilery to say that they did use to have a friendly competition with each other. It goes a lot deeper than that of course.
I guess youâll have to wait until Chapter 3 then! There will be an actual puzzle you need to figure out to guess Aunt Julieâs password and access her laptop. But if you donât want to wait, the clues are all there in the prologue.
That was actually one of the first choices Iâve ever written! Although, Iâm not sure if hugging B should automatically accept the sidequest. And yup, thereâll be more opportunities for sure! Not as many as Roselyna, of course. Hehe.
About Abe's twins
12th and 26th is quite the gap! I hope Ryan doesnât mind that!
Taekwondo and piano is a weird combination. It hasnât come up yet, but Roselyna is actually very good at playing the organ/piano! She got interested because of her time serving as an altar girl.
If you were wondering, Iâll definitely drop a reference to TV Tropes later. Hehe.
Haaa, does Ryan like ATLA partially because of the reference I sneaked in there? Iâm not sure about Patrickâs stance on Korra though, now that you mention it. There might be more references to it later, shh!
Ooh, and itâs nice that you finally found second names for them! I actually had a character named RJ before, but the nickname initials eventually went to JM.
Itâs probably splitting hairs at this point, but my cold!MC may not get along as well as heâd like with his sister, but some of the word choice, particularly the use of the word âhateâ felt very off to me. Heâs resentful of his mother abandoning him and his sister, but even describing that relationship with a word as strong as âhateâ isnât quite right.
Instead of being natural, it almost felt like words, and feelings were being imposed on him, rather than having the chance to clarify the distinction that unhappiness isnât necessarily hate. Heâs the âstarâ, so he doesnât get all that emotional about things. I dunno how the narrative intends to evolve from here, but I do honestly know that heâd be willing to forgive his mom with just a chance to talk. Judge with proofânot petty inferences driven by emotion. Thatâs how heâd look at it, or he wouldnât agree to give B a chance.
Gotta agree about the ânot sleeping in the same bedâ being very different from selfishness; theyâre both almost 12, which kinda means puberty is about to smack them both silly. Put another way⌠If one twin feels more embarrassed about the idea of still sharing a bed, then thatâs not as unnatural as the other twinâs response would have it, though Iâm willing to forgive their frustration about things changing that âdidnât have toâ as they might be thinking.
Thatâs a good point! Iâll see where I can put a choice where you can choose the primary reason why you were angry. (With an all of the above, of course)
Now that you mention it, does the twin mentioning the âsleeping together/not sleeping together anymoreâ during the fight work/make sense? Itâs in the heat of the moment, but I primarily put it there to put extra weight on that choice you might not have expected (to frame MC as a somewhat unreliable narrator) and because at this point, aside from the MC potentially not calling their twin kuya/ate anymore, thereâs not much I can use to justify the twinâs anger especially because the big fight happened three years ago.
It does seem to come out of left field when the angry twin brings not sleeping together up, but thatâs why it does still work as something they mention. It leaves the twin being scolded baffled in a âWaitâwhy is that one of the problems?â sense that indeed sells the point that the one doing the scolding is genuinely unhappy. Children can be rash with their emotions at times, so theyâll sometimes say things that donât make sense in a fit of upset that they have a hard time apologizing for because they sometimes know after the words are out that it didnât make sense.
As long as it doesnât count toward increasing selfishness as a stat, it still works. I may have confused you by not being clear enough, so I apologize for that.
I donât know, thereâs possibly that the author may include it in the future but itâs going to be kinda complicated. Right now thereâs still some problems with our MC and their twinâs gender like changing gender, name ,⌠so non-binary wonât be a good idea now
As much as i want to have the Twin have a choice to be nonbinary (when i do Ryanâs run), Manaxaggd is right. The game already has a lot of variables to consider and Franzinyte already has set her mind on having the Twin be of the opposite sex of the MC.
As a commment to everyone's comments on the Valdez twins:
Ryan is the more stubborn sibling and doesnât really care about grades that much. If he passes, thatâs good enough for him.
Seeing that Korra has some graphic death scenes, i can see Patrick being hesitant to have Ryan to watch Korra. As for Remy and Madoka, everyone assumed it was just a cutesy magical girl show based on the art.
For future reference, I wouldnât trust anything on the old thread.
This is actually a great argument, which I havenât considered before. It does seem unfair especially if you play the other way around. This isnât a priority for me right now, and Iâll see how it looks again in the future. (Itâll definitely be easier to implement once the story is done since the Twin uses pronouns a lot more often than the MC.)
But yes, the twins will stay opposite sex, and no plot hole will change that.
He waves his pen again, this time pointing his lips at my paper.
Quick suggestion! As a fellow Filipino, I understand the action our dear sibling is doing since itâs a common body language that we share, however, I think itâs best of you re-word it cause I donât think that non-Filipinos or people who arenât familiar with the lip thing know what heâs doing.
Maybe âHe waves his pen again, this time jutting out his lips to point at my paper.â
Maybe âsticking outâ could be better? âJutâ is a weird verb, especially for a child to use.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story so far! Iâd appreciate it too if you can give me some feedback.
By the way, since Valentineâs Day is almost here, I just thought Iâd let you guys know about a few extra variables I deleted during the locker scene, since I didnât have enough time. Thereâs a hidden âattractionâ variable that tracks how much each group member likes you (depending on traits, personality and appearance), and if you got enough, thereâll be a Valentineâs Day card in your locker (that you have received a couple of weeks earlier since itâs Feb. 27 in the story). This also determines their initial reaction when you choose some of the flirt options.
You can find out who sent it during the Secret Exchange, but getting the card is totally not necessary if you want to have a crush on someoneâit just gives you some bonus dialogue.
I wanted to do something a little special for the event, but I guess Iâll just have to wait for next time. (I made a card some time ago actually, but I canât share it yet since it features one of the characters youâll meet later. )
Anyway, Wayne and Roselynaâs birthdays are in a couple of weeks, so hopefully I have something new to share by then!
Iâve updated the survey results! I stopped being lazy and finally created a spreadsheet so itâll be a lot easier for me now to evaluate the codes and see the stat distributions.
Summary
Itâs all very helpful and interesting, actually. Iâm quite surprised that about 40% of people have an 80%+ Reliant stat, with only 1% having 80%+ Independent. I also didnât realize that you can get as high as 60%+ relationship with B, so Iâll most likely reduce that by about half.
I wasnât sure if I made the stat requirement for the Top 5 Choice a little too high, since everyone seems to have a high INT stat (it actually tests your precocious and discipline stat), but at least 15% managed to pick it, so that seems okay for now.
I also wasnât expecting that B would B the second most popular character so far (next to the Twin), so Iâll have to reevaluate their role a little, since they were actually a late addition to the story.
So uh, weâve been busy moving, so Iâm afraid there isnât much progress. But hereâs what Iâve been working on!
This is all very much a work in progress, so the scaling is a little out of whack. Also, sorry if Brandon/Beatrice isnât included, but I promise theyâll be there in the next update!
I also figured out how to make Chapter 2 shorter and move the plot a little faster. There wonât be a group meeting anymore, and instead Iâll merge the scene together with the current scenes. Thereâs supposed to be a group discussion about the short stories you wrote about, but I thought itâd be better if your friends shared their stories with you instead as you meet them, which should better segue into their introduction songs.
And yup, youâll get to visit each story worldâI hope this isnât a spoiler at this point!
Anyway, thatâs all for now! Thanks to everyone so far who have given their feedback and submitted their code!
) to my childhood. It was such a hit thing back then. Everyone at my school treats it as the heights of luxury, together with those 
Also, donât worry too much about Rosie, she can whack more than just bullies. 
It hasnât come up yet, but Roselyna is actually very good at playing the organ/piano! She got interested because of her time serving as an altar girl.
is almost here, I just thought Iâd let you guys know about a few extra variables I deleted during the locker scene, since I didnât have enough time. Thereâs a hidden âattractionâ variable that tracks how much each group member likes you (depending on traits, personality and appearance), and if you got enough, thereâll be a Valentineâs Day card in your locker (that you have received a couple of weeks earlier since itâs Feb. 27 in the story). This also determines their initial reaction when you choose some of the flirt options.
are in a couple of weeks, so hopefully I have something new to share by then!
Also, sorry if Brandon/Beatrice isnât included, but I promise theyâll be there in the next update!
