I found the musical scene kind of random and odd, honestly, but it was funny when I actually played through it. My first MC had no time for such āchildish nonsenseā, though - as much as he likes music, he prefers to think of himself as too grown-up and mature for such silly things.
Hopefully his friends can help him be less of a stick in the mud.
I found the song a bit weird and unexpected, too. Not unwelcome, just kind of random.
Hehe, but isnāt the weirdness and randomness half the fun of musicals? 
My only hope is that theyāre fun to read even without accompanying music. The group actually has their own theme song, but it wonāt be in the story until Chapter 5.
My original plan was to have at least one song per chapter, but now Iām not sure if thereāll be a good spot to include one each chapter.
Anyway, Iām adding another choice to the cleaning opinion choice after you meet JM, and I found a way to add a little bit of foreshadowing so itās not completely out of the blue:
- I donāt like cleaning, but Iām not gonna say no to spending more time with my friends and classmates. My favorite memories usually happen after classāthere was one time when we all started singing together while cleaning.
Update
Hi again! Just a quick update, but I was rewriting some parts of Chapter 1 to change some stuff related to Wayne (which I talked about earlier), when I found an opportunity to introduce Lily earlier in Chapter 1 instead of later in Chapter 2.
Sheās the only group member yet to be introduced, so hereās a sneak peek of her introduction:
On the topic of alternative words for the Leader/Follower bar, what about āGo-getterā and āWatcher/Plannerā? Finding a good synonym for someone who āhangs backā for the sake of being more observant is the key. 
112331173521f243322261724196
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[Lyre|Lyre|Viola|Viola|Santos]
After seeing that the sister could be named āViolaā, I couldnāt resist using one of my go-tos to make them both literally named after musical instruments. 
Youāll be able to guess just by the numbers, but my kid is a bit of a stick in the mud.
He canāt help it; according to him, āthe real world is the real worldā, and fiction exists only in bedtime stories. Heās also not particularly willing to believe in happy endings, but maybe something will happen to prove him wrong. 
Despite his Love Language being what it is, heās very much not going to let just anyone get close, either. It will be the truest expression of his LL to be willing to share it with others in spite of his otherwise cold, closed off demeanor.
Hi! Iāve decided to just rename the traits to āLeader Twinā and āFollower Twinā since it only affects your dynamic with your twin sibling, and no one else. So if you need to introduce yourself for example, the leader will be the one introducing both of you. (Of course, being the follower doesnāt mean you canāt do it for yourself.)
Anyway, thanks for the feedback and for sharing your code!
I like their names a lot! Too bad he doesnāt seem to like the musicals. 
Iām actually interested in seeing cold and reserved MCs since itās hard to balance and to bring myself to play like that.
And thatās a good point about the love language, actually. The first interaction with Roselyna is automatic, but I probably shouldnāt auto-trigger the hugs every time.
Oh, trust; it is tough to balance just being ādisconnectedā from everything, and a legitimate jerk (it makes no sense to be an evil jerk in this story setting, so the current limits are actually great!), but insofar as every interaction has gone so far, from Roselynaās surprise hug, to awkwardly noping outta the musical by just going back to work cleaning, the story is warm. It hits all the right notes of a more youthful story narrative. I genuinely like the idea of having the ability to play the role of a slightly jaded kid being reminded of their inner child before facing the cusp of their young adulthood. Iām looking forward to the journey, as much as the laughs. 
Also very happy you caught that musical irony. 
Alright, I finished the game. Also, here is my code for research purposes.
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|040007060100010411
[Mason|SCP 682|Mabel|SCP 173|Horscome]
Have you already got a translator or is the position still open?
Hi, and hello to your twinsie!
The next update will have the first half of Chapter 2 completed. This will be a relatively short update, but thereās a lot of variations during the encounter with B and when you reunite back with your twin. It was fun, but mostly it was a pain in the butt to write.
So basically, Iāve learned that I should stop writing out of order, and I should stop putting too many dialogue options. Itās not really the amount of flavor text thatās killing me, itās making sure that they all tie up together. 
Anyway, Iāll be removing the clunky character page viewer and adding a link to a survey instead where you can submit the codes, which should be much shorter in the next update. Iāll be sharing the data collected to improve the playthrough stats, so at the end of the demo youāll see the percentage of people who picked the same choices as you.
Iām not making any promises about when it will be done this time, but at least the hardest part of it is over!
Hereās the change log for the next update:
@Polygon Hi! Sorry, Iām not sure what youāre talking about. Iām not really looking for any translators.
Wowsers! iām really excited for that update. i canāt wait!
On the note about the different hair colors on the twins, thatās fine but this calls for an immediate revamp for Remyās picrews.
Not even when the games finished?
A translator for what exactly? We donāt understand what you trying to say.
Some how, although this is one of the most funny and childish game I have ever seen, it gives me a strange emotion, a feeling that only the most disturbing things on Internet can give me,ā¦ FEAR, Iām feared about what is the true story of our family, it has been covered up by our MCās perspective but there are too many questions that need to be answered, it can be anything, from simple reasons to things are too dark for MC to imagine or simply because Iām playing too much Evil Within and Sally Face
A transaltor? Id like to translate the game into a different language. Though still keeping the spanish/whatever language it is
Does he develop this crush even if MC is crushing on him?
It was my understanding that the reason Wayneās crush on Rose was removed/pushed back was because of players feeling a little aggrieved about having to ābreak them upā to even stand a chance of being either of their crushes instead.
Itās likely that as long as youāre making moves toward flirting with either, that their feelings will eventually change course to not be mutual to each other as though the crush Wayne could develop had never existed in-universe at all. It certainly reduces the guilt one could have breaking up active puppy love by it merely being potential instead.
Your story is really unique and I love it. Will be looking forward to this and more updates
I was able to play the first bit today and it is really good and original. Loved it! How did you manage to get the double questions in? Tried to look in the code but couldnāt figure it out as it shows like Ć¢ā¬?
@Manaxaggd Yup! Iām so glad you mentioned it since I was wondering when someone will notice that. Iām expecting people to know that theyāre going to experience the story they wrote eventually, but it goes much deeper than that.
While the story is light-hearted at its core, the children are definitely going to need therapy at the end of the story. Especially poor Rosie.
@Polygon Thank you for the offer. Iām flattered at the interest, really, but I have no interest in doing so.
Even ignoring the fact that itās going to take double the amount of writing, coding, and artwork, I just donāt think the songs, jokes, references, made-up words and how I wrote the MCās voice is going to translate well into other languages.
@Kirlett @AdmiralLynx89 Actually, yup! Wayne still develops a crush on Rosie, just to a lesser degree. In fact, heāll also be flirting with three of the other potential crushes you can have later in the story, because thatās what he is! It shouldnāt be a surprise really since I already mentioned that he likes calling MCās other classmates cute.
Once he admits his crush on the MC, heās actually going to ask you if itās okay if he keeps flirting with others. If you disagree, heās gonna be sad that you donāt trust him enough. Itās his weird way of showing his loyalty. 
While that is indeed one of the reasons for the change, thereās actually a much bigger plot relevant reason for it. 
@TheSleepwalker @lisamarlin Yay! Thanks for checking out the story, and Iām glad you liked it!
For the multiple choices, you can check out this post: How do I put multiple choices on one page? - #2 by Fiogan
Uh-oh, well then, my MCs wonāt crush on Wayne then lol I donāt really like the āif you donāt like me flirting with other people you donāt trust meā. Iāll just stay away from him and Roselyna then.
