🌈 Dear Diary, We Created a Plot Hole! (A Slice-of-Life Fantasy Adventure set in the Philippines) ~ [UPDATED Aug 31 | 608,000 words]

I found the musical scene kind of random and odd, honestly, but it was funny when I actually played through it. My first MC had no time for such ā€˜childish nonsense’, though - as much as he likes music, he prefers to think of himself as too grown-up and mature for such silly things.

Hopefully his friends can help him be less of a stick in the mud.

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I found the song a bit weird and unexpected, too. Not unwelcome, just kind of random.

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Hehe, but isn’t the weirdness and randomness half the fun of musicals? :stuck_out_tongue: My only hope is that they’re fun to read even without accompanying music. The group actually has their own theme song, but it won’t be in the story until Chapter 5.

My original plan was to have at least one song per chapter, but now I’m not sure if there’ll be a good spot to include one each chapter.

Anyway, I’m adding another choice to the cleaning opinion choice after you meet JM, and I found a way to add a little bit of foreshadowing so it’s not completely out of the blue:

  • I don’t like cleaning, but I’m not gonna say no to spending more time with my friends and classmates. My favorite memories usually happen after class—there was one time when we all started singing together while cleaning.

Update

Hi again! Just a quick update, but I was rewriting some parts of Chapter 1 to change some stuff related to Wayne (which I talked about earlier), when I found an opportunity to introduce Lily earlier in Chapter 1 instead of later in Chapter 2.

She’s the only group member yet to be introduced, so here’s a sneak peek of her introduction:

Boop

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On the topic of alternative words for the Leader/Follower bar, what about ā€œGo-getterā€ and ā€œWatcher/Plannerā€? Finding a good synonym for someone who ā€˜hangs back’ for the sake of being more observant is the key. :thinking:

My Character's stats

112331173521f243322261724196
651212225l21222111211234512
52161a5243j1111211523241223
|027000021014071044100076100
|081026027067079023
|070703060203001431

[Lyre|Lyre|Viola|Viola|Santos]

After seeing that the sister could be named ā€œViolaā€, I couldn’t resist using one of my go-tos to make them both literally named after musical instruments. :face_with_hand_over_mouth:

You’ll be able to guess just by the numbers, but my kid is a bit of a stick in the mud.

He can’t help it; according to him, ā€œthe real world is the real worldā€, and fiction exists only in bedtime stories. He’s also not particularly willing to believe in happy endings, but maybe something will happen to prove him wrong. :slightly_smiling_face:

Despite his Love Language being what it is, he’s very much not going to let just anyone get close, either. It will be the truest expression of his LL to be willing to share it with others in spite of his otherwise cold, closed off demeanor.

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Hi! I’ve decided to just rename the traits to ā€œLeader Twinā€ and ā€œFollower Twinā€ since it only affects your dynamic with your twin sibling, and no one else. So if you need to introduce yourself for example, the leader will be the one introducing both of you. (Of course, being the follower doesn’t mean you can’t do it for yourself.)

Anyway, thanks for the feedback and for sharing your code!

I like their names a lot! Too bad he doesn’t seem to like the musicals. :stuck_out_tongue: I’m actually interested in seeing cold and reserved MCs since it’s hard to balance and to bring myself to play like that.

And that’s a good point about the love language, actually. The first interaction with Roselyna is automatic, but I probably shouldn’t auto-trigger the hugs every time.

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Oh, trust; it is tough to balance just being ā€œdisconnectedā€ from everything, and a legitimate jerk (it makes no sense to be an evil jerk in this story setting, so the current limits are actually great!), but insofar as every interaction has gone so far, from Roselyna’s surprise hug, to awkwardly noping outta the musical by just going back to work cleaning, the story is warm. It hits all the right notes of a more youthful story narrative. I genuinely like the idea of having the ability to play the role of a slightly jaded kid being reminded of their inner child before facing the cusp of their young adulthood. I’m looking forward to the journey, as much as the laughs. :blush:

Also very happy you caught that musical irony. :rofl:

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Alright, I finished the game. Also, here is my code for research purposes.

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524251228s21224222321132142
3125245222b6123242546122221
|026000022049054060008046010
|057031074022027069
|040007060100010411

[Mason|SCP 682|Mabel|SCP 173|Horscome]

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Have you already got a translator or is the position still open?

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Hi, and hello to your twinsie!

The next update will have the first half of Chapter 2 completed. This will be a relatively short update, but there’s a lot of variations during the encounter with B and when you reunite back with your twin. It was fun, but mostly it was a pain in the butt to write.

So basically, I’ve learned that I should stop writing out of order, and I should stop putting too many dialogue options. It’s not really the amount of flavor text that’s killing me, it’s making sure that they all tie up together. :sweat_smile:

Anyway, I’ll be removing the clunky character page viewer and adding a link to a survey instead where you can submit the codes, which should be much shorter in the next update. I’ll be sharing the data collected to improve the playthrough stats, so at the end of the demo you’ll see the percentage of people who picked the same choices as you.

I’m not making any promises about when it will be done this time, but at least the hardest part of it is over!

Here’s the change log for the next update:

STORY & CHARACTERS
  • First half of Chapter 2 is completed! Confront B and reunite with your twin!
  • Lily now gets introduced after JM’s introduction.
  • Two new songs!
  • Wayne no longer has a crush on Roselyna and develops it over the course of the story instead due to several reasons.
    • You can now have a crush on Wayne and Roselyna.
    • Lily and JM will come later in the chapter, and B will be available in Chapter 3/4.
  • Moved mention of Maggie and Julie being twins to a discoverable secret instead.
    • It’s a relatively minor reveal anyway compared to the other stuff, so shhh!
  • Patrick, Julie, and Robert now have a different surname from MC/Twin.
    • I have no idea why it took me five years to realize this.
  • MC’s hair color is now inherited from their father, so they no longer have the same hair color as their twin.
    • Sorry for breaking any headcanons, I promise this is relevant!
  • Ma’am Bianes now has her own relationship variables.
    • Nope, this is not important at all.
  • The mystery genre antagonist has been replaced by a slightly more kid-friendly mafia to better fit the genre and to trim down the branches.
CHOICES
  • Added two new plushies and new customization choices.
  • Added a choice of mounts to the fantasy and fairytale branches.
  • Added a choice to select gender preference after the choice asking whether the MC is interested in crushes.
    • I scrapped this choice earlier but then I realized it’s a little awkward without it, considering it’s first person.
  • Revised and restructured various choices.
  • The relationship choice with Julie and Robert in the prologue now also determines what MC/Twin call them.
  • Temporarily removed the stuffed toy naming choice. The choice will be re-added in Chapter 3.
QUESTS & ACHIEVEMENTS
  • Added new sidequest [B’s Gambit].
  • Added new secrets and trinkets to be discovered.
  • Secret discoveries now have notifications and give XP rewards.
STATS & MECHANICS
  • Revamped the Playthrough Code so it’s much shorter and easier to copy.
  • You can now check your diary and see all the secrets you discovered!
  • Added new toggle options in the Stats Screen.
    • You can now show or hide total personality points gained.
    • You can now switch between percentage bars and written stat descriptions.
CHANGES & FIXES
  • Short story choices are no longer in italics.
  • The Personality Stats Guide should be now more readable.
  • Changed starting relationship values for several characters.
    • Will probably be readjusted again later
  • Changed Randelle’s pronouns to they/them.
  • Renamed various traits and descriptions to make their effects clearer.
  • Replaced all mentions of ā€˜aunt’ with ā€˜auntie’.
  • Lots of edits, fixes, and stat tweaks. Added even more flavor text.
  • Roselyna is slightly more huggable.

@Polygon Hi! Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re talking about. I’m not really looking for any translators.

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Wowsers! i’m really excited for that update. i can’t wait!

On the note about the different hair colors on the twins, that’s fine but this calls for an immediate revamp for Remy’s picrews.

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Not even when the games finished?

A translator for what exactly? We don’t understand what you trying to say.

Some how, although this is one of the most funny and childish game I have ever seen, it gives me a strange emotion, a feeling that only the most disturbing things on Internet can give me,… FEAR, I’m feared about what is the true story of our family, it has been covered up by our MC’s perspective but there are too many questions that need to be answered, it can be anything, from simple reasons to things are too dark for MC to imagine or simply because I’m playing too much Evil Within and Sally Face

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A transaltor? Id like to translate the game into a different language. Though still keeping the spanish/whatever language it is

Does he develop this crush even if MC is crushing on him?

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It was my understanding that the reason Wayne’s crush on Rose was removed/pushed back was because of players feeling a little aggrieved about having to ā€˜break them up’ to even stand a chance of being either of their crushes instead.

It’s likely that as long as you’re making moves toward flirting with either, that their feelings will eventually change course to not be mutual to each other as though the crush Wayne could develop had never existed in-universe at all. It certainly reduces the guilt one could have breaking up active puppy love by it merely being potential instead. :slightly_smiling_face:

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Your story is really unique and I love it. Will be looking forward to this and more updates

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I was able to play the first bit today and it is really good and original. Loved it! How did you manage to get the double questions in? Tried to look in the code but couldn’t figure it out as it shows like â€?

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@Manaxaggd Yup! I’m so glad you mentioned it since I was wondering when someone will notice that. I’m expecting people to know that they’re going to experience the story they wrote eventually, but it goes much deeper than that.

While the story is light-hearted at its core, the children are definitely going to need therapy at the end of the story. Especially poor Rosie.


@Polygon Thank you for the offer. I’m flattered at the interest, really, but I have no interest in doing so.

Even ignoring the fact that it’s going to take double the amount of writing, coding, and artwork, I just don’t think the songs, jokes, references, made-up words and how I wrote the MC’s voice is going to translate well into other languages.


@Kirlett @AdmiralLynx89 Actually, yup! Wayne still develops a crush on Rosie, just to a lesser degree. In fact, he’ll also be flirting with three of the other potential crushes you can have later in the story, because that’s what he is! It shouldn’t be a surprise really since I already mentioned that he likes calling MC’s other classmates cute.

Once he admits his crush on the MC, he’s actually going to ask you if it’s okay if he keeps flirting with others. If you disagree, he’s gonna be sad that you don’t trust him enough. It’s his weird way of showing his loyalty. :wink:

While that is indeed one of the reasons for the change, there’s actually a much bigger plot relevant reason for it. :shushing_face:


@TheSleepwalker @lisamarlin Yay! Thanks for checking out the story, and I’m glad you liked it!

For the multiple choices, you can check out this post: How do I put multiple choices on one page? - #2 by Fiogan

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Uh-oh, well then, my MCs won’t crush on Wayne then lol I don’t really like the ā€œif you don’t like me flirting with other people you don’t trust meā€. I’ll just stay away from him and Roselyna then.

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