Constellations (WIP Title) (Chapter One) Major Update 3/14/18

Idea & Premise

Nutshell:

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Confused? Intrigued? Morbid curiosity? Then read on.

Story

Space is vast, and perhaps infinite; it is an endless wonder and curiosity to humans since ancient times, and even in the not-so-distant future. In a world where people — Imperiums — have celestial powers, it is a way of life. It’s the highway to other planets, an enigma to discern and solve, vastness to map and explore. Everything revolves around it.

You believe you are destined for the stars. You believe to aim not only for the sky, but beyond the realms of your planet. However, careers for the cosmos are only for the wealthy, the intelligent, the powerful. Someone as mundane as your background or skills cannot possibly hope to pursue that field of work, let alone enroll into a school for that. It’s too much for you.

Until you did, of course, because a certain bugger put you into it. Maybe it’s the worst thing to happen to you. Maybe it’s the best.

Disclaimer: You only need basic knowledge of the Western Astrology to understand this (knowing the twelve signs), and even then, you don’t really need that too much, either.

Idea

A science fantasy genre, really. I’ve never seen it before, so I wanted to add astrology elements to it, such as zodiacs and magical powers correlating to it. It takes place in a distant-but-not-really future, so there’s going to be magi-tech (as in this universe, celestial magic has been around forever) in it.

I’ve always thought magic schools are cool (who doesn’t like Hogwarts), but they’ve been used often. It’s like this, but a little different. In this world, space has become a way of life. The Universal Taxi! Scientists (of course)! Adventurers (space pirates?)! Realty! I thought, what if there’s a school which primarily orients to it? It doesn’t just educate Imperiums (folks with celestial powers), but scientists and… realtor agents! Basically everything that has to do with the cosmos. You learn the science of it (ugh), the math of it (ugh), all the academics, but also all the fantasy elements of it! Well, not you, you, but your character has to suffer through it.

Do note while astrology is a central point of magic, I also make up a few things for the magical aspect of it.


Characters (So far)

There are 5 ROs, two females, two males, one interchangeable. I might (likely?) add more, and I’m sorry for the gender-locked characters, but they seem pretty important to me. (ノдヽ)

There are lots of planned characters, they’re just not listed until they appear (save for the main cast).

Main Cast

As the premise suggests, all the characters are pretty overwhelming. They border absurdity for plot reasons.

Allistia Geheim: The daughter of a famous war general, born on the planet of Voljensky. Always wears a dress, even though it might not be appropriate, and acts amiable and kind. She has a habit of taking others as her responsibility, even if they rather she doesn’t.
Neutral Good.

Rigel Haffman: The youngest of all his six sisters in a prestigious family. He is viewed as energetic and charismatic. He also often hits on people but gets turned down often for his height (which is uncannily short). Has a large, but shallow circle of friends. Intends to become a scientist. Seems superficial and carefree at first glance. True Neutral

P3151N (Peirin): Android (Strojin) created to be the successor for their creators. Seemingly stoic, but extremely idealistic and outspoken for their beliefs. They’re unafraid to speak out against authority or defy rules they do not believe in. Advocator for Strojin universal-citizenship and equality. Childhood friend. Neutral Good.

Maya Halastus: The extremely short captain of the armed forces in Voljensky, where it’s normal to sign up for the war at an extremely young age and be a girl (manpower shortage). Ruthless and unforgiving, though may just be a child who didn’t have a proper childhood. Unfortunately, her superiors insist on her enrollment, so she agreed to it (begrudgingly). Lawful Evil.

Orion Altair: The incredibly tall and lanky son of a hero. As a fanatic for graphic novels (“not comics!”) and superheroes, he strives to be just like his mother, despite being out-of-shape. Doesn’t like attention, but he sticks out rather easily. He is always murmuring to himself, which make people a little suspicious of him (and cause rumors to circulate about him summoning Scorpio in their basement). Lawful Good.


Background Characters/Staff

Father: Well, obviously yours. Has a normal job at an insurance company, does ordinary fatherly things, and the like. He, however, does have a taste for the stars as you do.

Aries: You rather not talk about her right now.

Bellinor Vulcan: Leon Vulcan’s twin brother. The president of the Theater Club. He seems to come off as gloomy and antisocial, and is almost always mistaken as the president of the Celestial Occult Club. Oh, no no, that’s his brother’s club, not his. However, the (flashy) theater members insist on his talent.

Professor Gogg: Teaches Tehnical Machinery. Seems gentle and friendly, but some students feel uncomfortable or uncanny around the teacher. “Looks like he’s staring down at the barrel of a gun when he looks at you.”

Ms. H: Real name Ms. Houre, but will bite anyone who dares pronounce it because it sounds like… Carries a stick around her to smack around objects to frighten or startle students. Homeroom teacher who mainly teaches General Magics.
**


Tentative Features

Possible Features

This is how I’d imagine it?

  • Exams, tournaments, and contests to showcase your skills and abilities. Become well-liked… or pretty much control the student population. I’m not going to stop you.

  • Clubs! Who doesn’t like clubs? There are benefits, but also requirements. ∠( ᐛ 」∠)_

  • Choosing your own career and path — explorer? Scientist? Damnit, a realtor? You got it. Then again, evil dictator sounds good too.

  • Straight up disrespecting the zodiacs. Which you can probably already do in the first chapter with Aries. I really don’t have any objections if you do.

  • Choices that come back to bite you in the butt. They might seem trivial, but I promise that they’ll haunt you in your dreams.

  • Intergalactic domination.

  • That being said with tournaments, how do you feel about fighting? ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ

  • A main cast that includes: a dictatorial and deranged little girl (who contradicts her age), a sinnamon roll (no typo), a sore thumb, a toaster, and some kid who keeps getting rejected.

  • Magic! Because I can. Corresponds to zodiacs (you can always lie to get a specific one, yeah?)

  • Overthrow the student council because again, YOU CAN.


If you’re interested in answering questions for me, I have a few:

Questions

Of course, you don’t have to answer all the questions, but pick the ones you want to answer.

Demo (Prelude & Chapter One) questions

  • What kind of choices do you want to make, or do you think should be implemented? What changes should I make with it?

  • What’s your impression so far on all of the characters?

  • What are your speculations so far about the events?

  • What do you think will make it more interesting, or grappling?

  • Based on what happened so far, what do you think will happen next?

General questions

  • What do you expect, or want, to happen in the story?

  • For a beginner, how big do you think I should take the project to?

  • I’m trying to add characters which avert from the norm. What kind of characters are you looking forward to, or who are you interested in, in the main cast?

  • I’m unsure if I should add inter-species romance options. I feel weird doing it. How do you feel about that?

  • I’m the type of person who won’t ever make villainous choices when I play games, but I know that most people (and possibly you) might want to become a villain-protagonist. How do you think I should go about it? In general, not anything specific.

  • What clubs might you be interested in (including the student council)?

  • For the magical aspects of the game, what do you suggest I add?

  • For the technology aspects of the game, what do you suggest I add?

  • Story or event wise, what do you suggest I add?

  • I’m coming at odds with how I can make the MC have a personality, while letting you mold it too. What type of character would you like to be in the story, and how much freedom do you want to customize yourself?


6/2/18 (June 2nd, 2018) Playtest: https://dashingdon.com/go/2413

If you have some writing help to give, that would be awesome. Otherwise, feedback and cool ideas are welcomed (greatly)! I also attempted intense Googling and research into this, but I’ll probably overlook facts when I ever make this.

Questions you might ask don't do it fam

What kind of magic can we use?

The Western Astrology is pretty flexible; you can practice any magic you can imagine. I don’t see adding a familiar here, just because I don’t find that it really fits. Not that I wouldn’t be amiable to adding them with popular demand; it won’t actually mess up anything if that’s what you’re worried about that. Just that… eh.

How much about astrology do we have to know, and what elements are incorporated here?

I want to ensure that everyone can understand the concept. Astrology has A LOT going on, even I’m struggling with making sure I don’t forget things. Concepts like houses, moon signs, ascendant, etc. are probably not going to crop up simply because they’re too obscure and would likely confuse readers. Even then, I don’t find it overly necessary to incorporate into the story. I’m also pretty cautious about that, because I don’t want to write about those incorrectly.

Other elements? Tarot cards. They are somehow related to astrology, so I’ll add that in. If there’s anything else that might be somehow related or relevant, sure. This also involves hardcore googling though, OTL. I’m pretty flexible.

How fast do the vessels go in this time, and how is FTL travel achieved?

For the first question, it depends. The same way there are taxis, trains, and planes. The first one you ride on is a spacecraft is to a galaxy as a plane is to Earth. The ratio is plane:Earth and craft:galaxy.

FTL (faster than light) travel is assisted with residual magic and technology working together.

What is the exact time the world is set in?

To be honest, I can’t predict when these technologies are available and when they will not be, so I decided to take the safe bet of making it XX79. It ensures that it’s at least 50 years in the future (obviously), but the technicalities will be averted so I don’t have to worry about it. Maybe lazy, but practical.

Changelog

2/17(25?)/18: Interest check
3/14/2018: 0.1v Demo released - Prelude & Chapter 1

6/2/18: Added new version of Prelude & Chapter 1

Includes:

  • Character customization (a prototype!)
  • Added Tau Ceti e Place information in Stats screen.
  • Added description for each skill in Stats screen.
  • Added Information button for ease of access.
  • Added People in Information (work-in-progress)
  • Added Contrasts to IRL Astrology and in-game Astrology to Information > Magic & Zodiacs
  • Aries will get mad 1000% so don’t screw with her
  • Added easter eggs for names.
110 Likes

I don’t, every week someone dies in that school.

and we are the weak oe in the group. thee black sheep, the one that shouldn’t even be in the school?

5 Likes

… You have peak my interest. shoot.

4 Likes

Seems Interesting looking forward to trying the demo

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I saw that coming.

Maybe, not necessarily! There are definitely people who are gonna have beef with you, but most people are just gonna ignore it mainly because you’d have to be qualified to get in the first place. Rest assured you’re not going to be the weakest person, just a different background than the absurd.

3 Likes

@Harley_Robin_Evans

You think so? Maybe if enough people think so, then that is definitely a possibility! Thank you for showing interest.

2 Likes

1- What do you expect, or want, to happen in the story?

That’s a rather hard question. You make it seem like anything is possible… For example, maybe set a back-story to the academy with one of our family members and let us choose a goal to make it a better place, and opportunity to corrupt while doing it? Maybe with the saying “great power comes great responsibility”? (This as a side-goal…)

Or leaving the academy to save Voljensky.

To pick a favorite… God i would love to be a space pirate!!

2-For a beginner, how big do you think I should take the project to?

Don’t even waste time with interest check, go create a WIP thread. This might be one of the best WIP’s even for the whole year…

3-I’m trying to add characters which avert from the norm. What kind of characters are you looking forward to, or who are you interested in, in the main cast?

I always liked to have a loyal, but really loyal friend (maybe childhood) and have little sweet quarrels with them and make fun of them knowing that they wouldn’t take any offense.

4- I’m unsure if I should add inter-species romance options. I feel weird doing it. How do you feel about that?

Do you meen for example something like with red-skinned, tailed, horned human-like species or something like intercourse with a dog. If second don’t…

5- I’m the type of person who won’t ever make villainous choices when I play games, but I know that most people (and possibly you) might want to become a villain-protagonist. How do you think I should go about it? In general, not anything specific.

As i mentioned above, i would kill to be a space pirate. I love it so much that im planning to write a story just based on that in the future. So please give us the villain-blood :smiling_imp:

6- What clubs might you be interested in (including the student council)?

Student council seems great since i like diplomacy. Although i think you should add art clubs and even add magic to that club and use magic in something basic like pottery, that would make a humorus tiny detail :slight_smile:

7- For the magical aspects of the game, what do you suggest I add?

I imagine something like in “Merlin” would be just perfect. It seems hard at first but if you think everything is possible, you can implement things as you like(i don’t deny it’s still so hard to do).

8-For the technology aspects of the game, what do you suggest I add?

You might add something like astrological research unit. Then if you plan on using physicality when travelling to other planets(if we ever get the chance) maybe a r&d unit for spaceship parts. But the second one and alikes would only help branching off the story so it would make it so hard to finish.

I’ve never been interested in tech side of things so you can just ignore this…

9- Story or event wise, what do you suggest I add?

I like the war idea but i have no clue how you’re going to pull it off, so no comment on story.
As for events, i like tragedy, but just a bit(don’t throw me rocks at this please). And humorus events would be nice and seems suitable to implement.

10- I’m coming at odds with how I can make the MC have a personality, while letting you mold it too. What type of character would you like be in the story, and how much freedom do you want to customize yourself?

I don’t care about face features as i like to imagine it more. But i see some people are eager to customize their MC fully, so you can give them that chance in an active, narrative way so it wouldn’t bother others while you satisfy them.
For personality, i highly recommend shaping it through the story, with choices+reactions. It’s just a great strategy to put it into a more interactive, reader-dependant way.

EDIT: Ignore my magic comment, Zodiac signs are far more interesting :smirk:

3 Likes

A space opera influenced by Harry Potter and anime tropes (I’m assuming the Student Council and such are callbacks to this)?

Sign me the fuck up, sweet alien.

Alien romance would work as long as the alien is sentient. The RO might not even have to be humanoid; there’s something very amusing about the idea of a lad romancing a massive amoeba.

As someone who’s tried to produce a WIP in the past… I suggest that you create a schedule of updates (weekly or biweekly would work) and stick to it, or else it’ll slip through your fingers.

5 Likes

For me I never have anything expected of a story because a writer can turn a direction that was completely unexpected.

Do what you think is an appropriate size for you. Some beginners can just hop in and make advanced wip and some can only do the basic. Do what you can do with ease, and maybe extend yourself to new concepts and codes.

Inter-species romance won’t be weird if you don’t make it weird. I personally don’t find it weird if it’s done right, but can get awkward if it isn’t.

For every good option you have make a negative option as well then an option in between the evil in good.

Maybe portals to ease the walking distance. I presume the school will be huge and having portal would make it easier for the students to get across. Any Eldritch related magic really makes me happy.

4 Likes

Wow, that might actually be a really great idea!

Space pirates ALL the way.

Honestly, I saw that you were replying and taking a long time, so I thought you were either helping me with the questions or going to write a long complaint. I was anxious all day long. I’m glad to see the former, I just hope I’m able to meet your expectations!

That would be P351N (Peirin)'s role, actually. I absolutely adore childhood friends, too, so I just HAD to add one.

Well, I would want them to be humanoid-like. No offense to furries but… um…

A space pirate story for you? Sign me up for that!

A pottery class… that would be interesting…

That sounds like something to take into consideration, actually! Thank you for this.

Yeah, I’ll have to think about that for a little bit, too. I’m hoping to get some insight from people who might be interested in helping me with these sorts of details.

That’s the way I was thinking of it. I don’t know, when I was playing other WIPs, there’s always this choice to pick your hair or something, but I don’t know if it will make too much of an impact on storytelling other than a bit of flavor text.

I’ve never seen zodiacs used before, so that’s why I thought it really compelling to use it here…!

4 Likes

So no amoeba love? No romance options whose bodies were created along the lines of inhuman geometries?

Pity. Eldritch waifu is best waifu.

2 Likes

I was thinking about, too. That’s good advice. I’m still unsure about how far my capabilities can stretch, so I’ll see how much I can do without failing in other areas.

You may be right! I’m still a little iffy with that, but I’m hoping it won’t be awkward, should I attempt that.

I see, so if there’s good options, there’ll be ‘bad’ options, too. Don’t want to make a definition of what is immoral or moral, but I’ll also keep that in mind!

Ooo, you’re right! Thanks!

@anon49824592

You and me both, my man, you and me both. Anime tropes all the way! I see, you’re probably right. I’m kind of tempted to make a parody idea of… romancing an amoeba…

Edit: That being said, wow, the people on these forums are on top of things. You guys are lightning-speed… teach me your ways?

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Have no life and stay on the website 24/7 that is how i do it

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I’m really liking the looks of this!

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I was on my bed when I saw this on my phone. I decided it was worth getting up and come to the computer.

Plot-related? Some grand scheme behind the scenes is always good, if not a bit trite. Some mayor threat to the galaxy? To the students? Maybe we get unwilingly pulled into the Voljensky war? You get the idea.

Moderate-small. Choice Script can be a bitch for beginners, so tell your story but don’t make it too grand, you’ll just tire yourself out. You’ve heard of Icarus I’m sure.

As long as they have depth and don’t look too shallow or simple, any character is always great. You’ve picked my interest with Aries though. Allistia seems a bit cliche, no? A likeable character on the surface yet a killing machine on the inside? I’ve heard it before. I think she might be the one you need to put more depth into.

Depends on the species, I guess? If you’re talking some big, slimy, disgusting thing with tentacles…don’t. But if we are talking some humanoid creatures…I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try. Maybe you should make a poll in the future.

I’ve learned that people have differents definitions of the word “villain”. In my case, every character I ever play is a true neutral character. My choices are based purely in what I would do, which is rather the point. So don’t add and option thinking “this would be for the evil-type players”, simply add as many options as the situation will allow, it’ll be the reader who’ll choose to see it as the “villain” path or whatever.

Just go for the classics, fighting club, drama, etc. Just make sure they are in par with whatever stats you’ll write.

I’ll need more details on the magic to answer this. What can it do, since when do people have it, the toll it has on the user, etc.

It’s a sci-fi story, so I’ll assume we are talking some really advanced tecnology. But still, you should keep it to a minimun. Explain what you need and leave it at that. No need to get fancy in your first WIP.

Since you want to have romance in your story, I’d advise to build it up. Don’t just jump the gun at the end of the game and be done with it. Give it meaning. Make us work for it.

Customization can be simple. Skin color, hair, eyes, stature and that’d be fine. The personality is the real thing. It’s always best to add as much as you possibly can, since every reader is different. So add options that are tied to a different personality set, like:
*What do you think?"
Option A: shrugs - careless
Option B: we are walking into a war zone, what do you think? - impulsive or maybe oh it’s just war, I’m sure it’ll be fine - sarcasticc
Option C: we can do it - optimist
You get the point.

2 Likes

Ahh, thanks for getting up, by the way!

It can be anything that you were expecting, plot or technical. Just in general, really.

Yeah… I’ve been trying it out and it gets pretty frustrating at times, but the text editor I’m using makes things easier, as well as this guide I’m using to diagnose my problems. The problems I encounter are likely those others have.

Allistia? Well, she’s not outright evil. She doesn’t like killing, but if it comes down to it, she won’t hesitate to do it. She feels remorse, surely, but doesn’t spare it for those she thinks deserves it. Mostly, she just wants to stop the war (she’s patriotic). She doesn’t find thrill in killing, just danger itself, physical or not. However, I think you have a point, so I’ll put her into consideration.

Hm… I’m hoping to expand on it. I have some sort of idea, but I’ll need to dwell on it more. It’s something I definitely need to flesh out before I start.

You’re right. I read somewhere not to get too into detail, since that makes it more prone to fallacies, plus I’m trying to dodge info-dumps or just unnecessary information (“this computer uses 320u49 Engine…”)

That’s what I’m trying to do for this WIP, honestly. When I do romance in some games, I just don’t feel it. Part of me thinks that if you just pick the choices for the characters to get them, it’s not… I’m not sure how to describe it. But I don’t want it to make it so just because you keep picking the options to hang out with them means they’ll like you. I think I heard Mecha Ace is kinda like that? I don’t intend to make it too hard, though…

I just don’t see too much impact being made with whatever you look like in the story. I do want to focus a lot on personality and the things you can or cannot do if you’re X and Y, etc.

Again, thanks for getting off your bed, Akira.

3 Likes

Selectable if and if statements. Oh boy my favorite thing to deal with. The only code where you can get thirty different errors in a single string. I suggest for you not to create a 30 variable long conditional string for starting off. It is a huge pain of long strings and parenthesis. Even 5 requires some attention to detail. Tip to keeping your sanity watch this for 10 min intervals after dealing with huge if statements https://chickenonaraft.com/

2 Likes

I already squint at two. When I was trying it out, it was I either not using correct indentation, typo, and etc. Certainly not up for thirty freaking conditions… ah, if statements are such a wonder. *Didn’t phrase that great. I used a different interactive-fiction thing like ChoiceScript, and the if statements are quite different, so that threw me for a loop.

Will get right on that. You are the savior of my sanity.

Totally not talking from experience or anything, but a 30 variable string usually takes me an hour to do with bug fixes do to failed syntax. For a beginner I would not even risk doing more than 10, but if you think you are ready prepare yourself for staring at one one chunk of coding for thirty minuets thinking what is possibly wrong. Not like I am doing that right now, and just replying trying to get my mind off of it.

Haha… right…

Back in coding class, that’s pretty much all I did for the 55 nitues given to me. Just squinting at this code thinking, “what did I do wrong.” I’ll try not to make the code (and the conditions, at that) too convoluted until it’s terribly necessary.

Still… 30 variables?