Choice of the Vampire - community input [SEE POST 1305]

This confuses me. This line…

For once, you are grateful for your general lack of means: you do not hold any municipal bonds as part of your assets.

…only fires if your municipal bonds are $0. Did you previously sell your bonds? Do you remember more about where/when you bought the $500 of bonds?

Looking forward to it! But keep in mind, it’s a dynamic document, so I wouldn’t wait too long to send in feedback; things may change between the time you play it and the time you send it in.

As for feeding on cows…the problem is, animal blood is not as invigorating as human blood. I would say no, drinking animal blood wouldn’t provide any of the nostalgia. It’s sort of like drinking Soylent, only worse.

The problem is without the save system it takes me an hour to get to the genuinely new parts, so I really have to do this on a free afternoon, with luck I should have some this week, but do note the element of luck involved there.

Been testing a second boy, a native American recently and I at least want to complete that playthrough too before I compile all the notes and begin code browsing. Must say that playthrough made me see kind, mousy and inept Samantha in a whole different light for sure.

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It’s more the “You sense that now would be the time for you to speak your mind, were you so inclined.” followed by not being able to be not inclined to speak your mind is kinda weird for me. But yeah, not wanting to offend the vampires in the room, or maybe not having thought about the building long enough to form an opinion or something would be nice. A arrogant vampire might find them beneath them as well.

I attended the first one, and before the second one he told me my presence was unwanted by the senators and himself, presumably because of my 0 status.

I didn’t sell them earlier, I invested 500 into the bonds Carothers talk about. I’ve played through it several times, is it possible that if the value of the bonds you have are beneath a certain point they are sold automatically without making a choice about it?

Pushed another version; it addresses a lot of the bugs you identified, Bikkje. Not all of them, but a good number.

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Found some other things.

Devout christian bug

Fernando de Villanueva e Itamaraca was grateful that your opinions about both doctrine and fervor were so compatible.

Not many of your people have adopted the faith of the colonists. How did you come by it?

  1. My family were converts; I was raised in the Catholic faith.
  2. My family were converts; I was raised in the Presbyterian faith.
  3. A French priest organized my conversion to Catholicism when I was a teen.
  4. A Yankee evangelist oversaw my conversion to Presbyterianism when I was a teen.

I assume this is for a christian Choctaw? Currently you don’t need to be Choctaw to get here, you just need to be a devout christian.

Italic code?

Ma chère Hattie,

I go with you tonight to see the quaestor with no fear in my breast. It has been made clear to me what will come to pass there, but so is it written, and so must it be done. As you demonstrate, death is not as simple as many believe.

**i]**And so I say to you, do not fear for us. I know that a love such as ours may be hindered by neither the rivers Styx nor Lethe. Until I hold you in my arms again, I remain,

Your once and future love,
Clotho

The i] shouldn’t be there.

Trans confusion

I will take this opportunity to change the way I present myself to the world.

This is a very confusing choice, it doesn’t tell you what you are doing, before checking the code I thought it meant to change what ethnicity people would recognize you as- an Irishman becoming a Southerner etc.

Female pronoun error 1

“Then who will question him? He makes a mockery…”

“You tread on thin ice, whelp. Who are you to speak to me in this way?”

You pause a moment, considering your next words carefully. When you open your mouth to speak, however, the gravelly voice of Carothers preempts you. “He expresses concerns we all share, dear sister.” His voice drips with irony.

Elinor Harding whirls around to confront Carothers. She is not a small woman—no doubt drawn from good Scotch-Irish stock—but she is dwarfed by Carothers’s giant frame. She does not flinch though; if anything, she grows more solid as she prepares to confront her broodmate. “Yes, Apollo, I was suggesting to Miss O’Neill that he leave Senator Partridge in peace.”

My female character is referred to as “he” twice here.

Female pronoun error 2 and infinite repetition

He looks at you askance. “Your grandmother was Holly O’Neill?”

“Yes, she was.”

“Well, I suppose that makes sense. You are another droplet of her.”

“Excuse me?”

"Ah, excuse me. You are…the spit and image?…of him."

“So I’ve been told,” you say with a smile.

My female character was referred to as “him”, and I could repeat the choice to play off the resemblance as me resembling my grandmother.

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Thank you! New version pushed.

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After a lot of work from a single continuity seed, a new draft is now pushed.

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Found some things. I was wondering if you even wanted spelling errors pointed out? Like sure for part 1 and 2 that are already released, but part 3?

Is there a particular reason that finance is a hidden skill? I’m don’t understand how an illiterate character can have more than 1 in it.

I think it would be cool for a character with shapeshift to get an opportunity to communicate with the elephants at the circus. I’m not sure if elephants were known for being smart back then. Would be tempting, I think, to commune with such an exotic animal.

Small annoyance

As you begin to prepare for the reception, the thought occurs to you that you might have oversold yourself.

  1. No, no…I am more than capable of throwing this party.
  2. Surely there is someone that I can hire to do this for me.

It’s a little annoying to not be able to throw the party if you’re a very discrete vampire, I feel like a vampire with 3 creation should be confident enough in their skills to pull this off.

Spelling error 1

You look around the room. The gathered vampires are clearly on edge, their eyes twitching at the threat of an impending hunger. There is no emergency yet, but the condition of the city combined with the number of blood-sucking guests puts everyone on edge.

The gathered senators are clearly unimpressed by the décor. However, their disappointment has only just begun.

Finally, Carothers enters the room; Dido is conspicuously absent. He face is a mask of resolution. When he opens his mouth to speak, the room falls silent.

“Welcome, Senators, to the city of Memphis…” he begins.

Should be “his”.

Illiteracy inconsistency 1 and spelling error 2

“Thank you…” you begin, only to fall silent when you notice the precise handwriting of your dominus on the exterior, identifying you as the addressee.

“It ahrrived ta A’pallah yistahddey evenin’, an’ he reckoned you’d want ta see it right quick.”

“Yes, extend my gratitude to him. And thank you for coming and delivering this yourself.”

“It weren’t no burden, Massa’ Zeigler. G’night, then,” she says, allowing Franklin to escort her to the door.

Finding yourself alone, you hesitate no longer and tear open the letter. It seems that Heer Van der Ahe has learned of your presence in Memphis. In the letter, he points out that Chiara Santagostino, the Senator of New Orleans, will be in attedance at the upcoming election. He warns you that she is an inveterate supporter of Stone, and counsels against trusting her. Instead, he recommends looking to Arthur Lockridge, the Senator of Charleston, for guidance. Moreover, he urges you to do everything in your power to support the election of someone who will work to undo Stone’s agenda in the Senate.

I find it unlikely that somebody illiterate could recognize someone’s specific handwriting even if they have learned to recognize their own name. And they would need someone to read the letter for them. Also there’s a spelling error, should be attendance.

Possible continuity error

“Yes. My dear friend Andrew wrote to me, saything that I should heed thy words, should we ever have the chance to meet.” You look at Senator Bowater, surprised. Andrew Calkins, the vampire who snuck into Vicksburg with the intention of destroying the ammo depot? Friends with a Senator, no less?

You choose your words carefully. “Andrew was…enthusiastic. He sought to end the war single-handedly.”

“Yes, his schemes always were grand. Now, tell me, what do thou think of this whole affair…?”

I don’t think I’m supposed to get this guy’s support, I prevented Calkins from blowing the depot up.

Repeating choices

“I need an advance!” he says, brandishing the knife. “Why are you holding out on me, uncle?”

“I’m sorry for my nephew, Mr. Ritter. He’s been possessed by his morphine habit,” Ernst says.

“Do you make excuses for everyone that holds a knife to your throat, Ernst?”

“No…I…” You note that his hand—the one holding the knife—is quite unsteady. It dips and weaves of its own accord—you conclude that Thomas is not able to hold it still.

  1. “What is the meaning of this?” you thunder. While Thomas may not understand your words, he must understand their meaning.
  2. I subdue Thomas.
  3. I kill Thomas.
  4. Surely, there must be a cure for this disease. We will send him to see the very best doctor.
  5. I pay him to leave. He can consider it severance.

You can repeat 1 and 2 infinitely. I would like the option to try to convince him to stop doing morphine. Don’t expect it to work though, not sure what the limits of 4 charm is.

Ernst = George

You wrench your eyes away from the blood. “You should be more careful, Ernst.”

"Yes suh," he replies.

You return to your place before the mirror. You have a lecture to attend, after all.

Ernst talks like George.

Missing sentence?

When Dido sees you, her face splits into a huge grin. “Wul, hullo.”

"Hello, Dido. I’m glad to see you awake."

"Thanks to you."

“How is Apollo?”

“He is gud. He sez hullo.”

“Why are you here? Is Memphis assigned to the new province?”

Possible missing sentence, or Dido not having an affectation, not sure why she would thank me for her awakening if that was the case.

Illiteracy inconsistency 2

LADY SOSOSTRIS declares the sign above the fortune-teller’s tent.“Purveyor of the future, seer of the unseen…” cries the sideshow talker, using his cane to part the curtains before you.

Inside, the fortune-teller sits at a small table, wrapped in a silk dress and an ornate headwrap that drips with jewels. Her eyes are lined with kohl and she stares intently at the cards on the table before her. “Please, sit down,” she says, gesturing at the chair across the table from her. “You come seeking knowledge of your future, yes?” Her accent is thick, presumably Eastern European in origin. And most likely fake. “I am Lady Sosostris. I will peer into your future, and tell you what awaits you there.” She moves stiffly and has the features of a woman in her fifties.

My character wouldn’t be able to read that sign.

Illiteracy inconsistency 3

As promised, the photo is delivered to your house the next evening. It is a handsome photo of you staring into the camera, stone-faced.

There is a note from the photographer remarking on the crispness of the image. You were able to keep yourself remarkably still! It’s as though you were already dead! he remarks.

You hang the photo on the wall, a memento to your evening at the circus.

My character would not be able to read that note.

Illiteracy inconsistency 4, and spelling error 3

“My dominus’ wishes are finally fulfilled.” Eliot folds the newspaper in his hands. It’s early November—yet another November—and a small fire in a stove does nothing to warm you.

“Pardon?”

Eliot passes you the folded paper; the headline proclaims the opening of the Zappeion in Athens. The building, funded by the estate of Evangelis Zappas, is meant to facilitate the return of the Olympics to Athens.

"The return of the Olympics?"

“Yes, through his philanthropic work, he convinced the Greek monarch to reorganize the Olympic Games. They had their first outing in '59; I’m told it was something of a sorry affair. The stadium had yet to excavated, as Zappas had demanded. Instead, it was held in the main square of the city. Not an ideal venue, as you might imagine. But they tried again in '70, and that was much more successful. At least they had the stadium by then, anyway.”

“Why is the restoration of the Olympics so important?”

"Since the Greeks established their independence from the Ottomans, they have sought to define themselves. Their first king was Bavarian, but he was deposed by the parliament; and now they have a Dane on the throne. They only exist because Britain, France, and Russia will them to exist. How can they be proud of this?

“Anyway, it was my dominus’ desire to give them something to bring them together, and remind them of their great history.”

“Did you spend much time in Greece?”

“I helped liberate it from the Turks. Ninty years ago, St. Louis was even more of solitary outpost in the wilds than it is today. Seeking adventure, I went down the Mississippi and signed on with a merchantman. But then the Greek War of Independence broke out. I had always admired the Greek people, even if they are only a shadow of what they once were. So I signed on with the revolutionaries when we put in at Milazzo.”

“Did you see many battles?”

“Several. They even developed a certain affection for me, even giving me a British redcoat…despite my being a Yankee.” He smiles at the memory.

You look back down at the article, as something else has caught your eye. “His head?” you exclaim.

My character is illiterate, would find it difficult to gleam much information from the newspaper. Spelling error, should be ninety. Pretending he can read at the end? lol

It doesn’t hurt to point out spelling errors, no.

Hah, I never noticed that! It’s just because I added Finance post-release (really, as part of V2) and never thought to add it to the stats screen.

That’s a really interesting idea. I’ll think on it.

Done!

Fixed and fixed.

Fixed.

You’re right that it won’t work, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t write an option where you try.

Fixed.

Fixed

Fixed!

Fixed, fixed, fixed.

I’m so glad you’re back!

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Found some more things.

Spelling Error 1

Having been welcomed—somewhat—to to Memphis, you set about establishing a haven.

The area around Beale Street is the economic and cultural hub for the freedpeople of the city. There is a ghetto knows as “the Pinch” on the water; recent immigrants—particularly the Irish—start their time in the city there. The Appalachians and other poor whites cluster together to the east of downtown. There is also an enclave of Northerners who have relocated here in to aid in the reconstruction of the city. Finally, you could take up residence in the newly-annexed Greenlaw Addition with the nouveau-riche.

  1. The Beale District.
  2. The Pinch.
  3. Among the Applachians.
  4. Among the Northerners.
  5. In the Greenlaw Addition.

A spelling error. Would it be possible to tell the player where their character would be most welcome? It’s obvious for Irish characters and black characters, but not so much for others.

Spelling error 2

It takes several minutes to pull the story from the two men, but finally you learn that Harvey—Wilson’s brother—has finally decided to flee the plantation where he is enslaved. Wilson has promised to help him, having arranged most of the necessary details to convey his brother noth.

Should be north.

Would like another choice 1

“And that’s why the previous system worked so well? Because the fieldhands…stayed in the city?”

“Exactly! I’m so glad you see it my way.”

Noticing that Aichinger and Eliot are rotating back into earshot, you quietly thank Bailey for his counsel.

The evening concluded, they each offer a way to contact them, should you have need of them, and then excuse themselves. Before you depart, Aichinger invites you to feed freely within the beerhall—on this occasion, at least. A small gift to the new arrival.

  1. I do not trust this gesture; I return to my haven.
  2. It is likely that hunting here would be too easy; I prefer more of a thrill. I return to my haven.

If you don’t have the type of prey that shows up in the beerhall, could you have a choice that reflects that? “I would accept his offer, but I don’t see my type of prey here” or something.

Spelling error 3

Walter Krupke, the governor’s bodyguard, is about to translate an introduction for you when van der Ahe interjects and insists on doing it himself. He introduces Theresa Overstreet, the governor; her broodmate, Samantha Withers; and Walter Krupke. In life, Overstreet was a short, homely woman with mousy hair. Undeath has not made her physically more attractive, but she radiates self-assurance and—frankly—power. Withers, on the other hand, was mildly attractive as a mortal, but seems much less grounded than her broodmate. Krupke, the bodyguard, is not terribly large, but looks like a born warrior. When the introductions are completed and despite the intervention of van der Ahe, it is clear that the governor seems entirely unimpressed at your inability to communicate directly with her.

Should be Van der Ahe.

First person error

It is with no small amount of awkwardness that you escort Samantha through the city. You point out the sites and name things, but you are unable to relate anything of what you know about these places to her.

At one point, she stops you on a corner of Jackson Square and tries to ask you something…something about Jesse! She’s clearly waiting for an answer.

  1. I say ‘yes’ emphatically.
  2. I just smile and nod.
  3. Frown and shake my head.
  4. I try to reiterate that you have no idea what she’s saying.

“You” should be “I”.

Would like another choice 2

“You are aware that the general is a respected member of the Freemasons?”

“Yes.”

“You must understand, then, that the Freemasons are an influential mortal organization. As such, it behooves us to maintain good relations with him.”

“Why should you bother maintaining good relations? Tell him what you want, and see to it that he obeys you.”

Pickering shifts in his seat, evidently trying to invent a suitable retort. “The Rule of Reserve demands circumspection, Mr. Engels. While the Order may be the province of mere mortals, that does not mean that it should be discounted.” It seems you have a few more moments before General Pike returns from the privy; what else would you like to ask of Pickering?

  1. “What city do you call your home? At least, until you win the election.”
  2. “Do you know the identity of Carothers’ maker?”

I would like the options to tell him to stay away from my human. Especially since he was noted as being particularly tasty.

Possible continuity error

She arrives at her point quickly: why does someone known for his support of Stone side with Lesczynski?

When you supply no convincing reply, she offers a way to contact her and recommends that you write to her to learn more of Stone’s cause.

You thank her and continue with your goodbyes.

Lesczynski approaches you. He dances around the matter, but in short, seems to be urging you to support him during the next election. He presses his calling card into your hand, suggesting that you write to him before then. You promise him that you will and soon excuse yourself.

I can’t write to her to learn more of Stone’s cause. When Pickering tells me to write to him to hear more about Stone’s crimes, I also can’t ask about that when sending letters.

Illiteracy inconsistency 1

You write the letter and send it off.

August arrives, suffocating the city under a blanket of moist air. The city holds its breath, fearing another outbreak of the fever, but thankfully no sign of the plague manifests.

A letter arrives from Carothers. In it, he explains that the true purpose of praetors is the extirpation of the various heretical philosophies that periodically take root in the Society. These heresies pose a danger to vampires as a whole and must not be allowed to propagate.

To whom would you like to write?

Illiterate character writing a letter.

Illiteracy inconsistency 2

After spending some time observing the city, you put some thought into how you might integrate yourself with the community. A vampire needs allies, after all.
1) Though I have no talent for writing myself, these newspapers seem to wield a large amount of influence.
2) I wish to involve myself with the criminal underworld.
3) I will involve myself with the turnverein, gymnastics clubs with pan-Germanic political overtones.

No talent is putting it mildly, my character is illiterate. And illiterate characters with creation will fancy themselves writers. lol.

Spelling error 4

"Lady Sosotris!" cries the sideshow barker, "purveyor of the future, seer of the unseen.…" He gestures for you to enter, using his cane to part the curtains before you.

Should be Sosostris.

Spelling error 5

“My dominus’ wishes are finally fulfilled.” Eliot folds the newspaper in his hands. It’s early November—yet another November—and a small fire in a stove does nothing to warm you.

“Pardon?”

Eliot passes you the folded paper, but you push it back. "Tell me what it says.

“Really, Andreas…”

“Just tell me…” you retort.

Missing quotation mark, also I would like to know what tone of voice he’s using when asking really? Is he pitying, exasperated or something else?

ERROR

Your search comes up short. You talk to anyone and everyone who might have seen something, but the culprit seems adept at covering his tracks. ERROR

The months continue to tick by.

Encountered an ERROR in play.

Maker error

“There…there hasn’t been a true war since Adonis and Sostrate codified the Three Rules. That was in A.D. 325; that’s over a millenium and a half ago,” Bailey stammers.

Sostrate? The sibyl of Sinope that Mme. Sosostris mentioned? The question pops into your head.

“Could Stone be so reckless?” Eliot demands.

“This is unthinkable,” Aichinger growls. “We are not animals. We do not need to hunt each other down as such.”
"We should organize support for the Cuban revolutionaries. By supporting them, we aid my dominus."

I think the game mistakenly thinks Villanueva is my dominus, he isn’t.

These next errors I found by looking at the code, I’m not the most code-literate person around, so keep that in mind.

Instant death

*if (discretion > 70) and (applethorp_rapport > 65)
You feel the fury rising up, choking you with its bile.
*if willpower < 3
*label attack_apollo
*set killed_by_vampire true
Your fangs @{(shapeshifting > 2) and claws|} extend. With a scream you launch yourself at Apollo.

				He catches you head in his massive right hand, your arm in his left. "So disapppointing," he says. And then he squeezes.
				
				He squeezes until your head explodes in a spray of blood and brain matter. As quaestor, he is well within his rights to end you. You doubt that he will even dignify you death with an announcement.
				
				Who would even mourn your passing?

If you have really good physical stats, would it be possible to survive the insta-death events with Carothers in the conclusion of Memphis? I don’t mean beating him in combat or something of the like, surviving by fleeing or something would be good. It has to be really annoying to die because you don’t have 3 willpower. That being said, these insta-deaths by Carothers events are so specific to achieve in game, I’m not sure anyone would find them without trying to get them.

Impossible charm checks

*if (discretion >= 40) and (discretion <= 60)
“My apologies if you have misconstrued my intentions, Ms. Malloy.”

	"Your intentions?   What could they be other than to drive me from the election?"

	"I was simply looking out for your best interests, Miss Malloy.  You have a questionable past, and the matter was best addressed now rather than after your election."
	*if (revolutionary_credentials > 60) or **(charm > 4)**
		*set malloy_rapport %+15
		She looks at you in disbelief.

		"I…I had not considered that, ${mr} ${surname}."

		"Well, perhaps you will before you address me so harshly in the future."

		"Of course…" she mumbles, drifting away from you in embarrassment.
	*if (revolutionary_credentials <= 60) and **(charm <= 4)**
		*set malloy_rapport %-10

		"Enough of your lies.  I will have no more of them," she exclaims, wasting no time in leaving your presence.

Pretty sure it’s impossible to have 5 charm at this point in the game. I think both of these charm checks should be lowered by 1 each. There’s a similar check for Pickering in the same scene with the same impossible 5 charm requirement.

Wilson/Anselm error

*if wilson_embraced
“He is your progeny, is he not?” Carothers says, pointedly.
*goto wilson_killed_2
Of course, none of that is your concern, exactly. Instead, it seems that Carothers and Withers are about to have a serious problem.

"It seems as though we have a problem, **Mr. Maddox.**"  With that, Carothers tears the hood from ${wilson}, who blinks momentarily as he takes in the scene around him.  "You have broken the rules.  And the rules say that you should die."

**"But Ah don' have ta', does Ah?"**

"No, you don't have to,"  Carothers says.  Looking at you over his shoulder, he gives a brief smile.  "But that doesn't mean I will forgive you."

If I’m reading the code correctly, Anselm would talk like Wilson here and would be referred to as Mr. Maddox.

Lesczynski too patient?
*if (rationalism > 60) and ((religious_tradition != "pagan") and (able_to_identify_jews and (memphis_haven != "pinch")))
	*selectable_if (discretion > 40) #"Do you hide your horns under your hat?"  After all, I've been told all my mortal life that Jews have horns!
		*set discretion %+5
		*set anachronism %+5
		*set rationalism %-5
		It takes a few moments for Lesczynski to formulate a response to this query.  "I am sorry to disappoint you, but there are no horns.  In fact, none of us have horns.  Rather, there was a misunderstanding by your Saint Jerome: when he said that Moses "grew horns", what it actually said was "emit rays of light".  Until that Luther fellow, all you Christians used that same translation, and it has caused us no end of [i]fardeiget[/i]."

		You look at him quizzically, the strange word unfamiliar to you.  "Perhaps I shall have to learn Hebrew some night, and see for myself.  I had always been told that your people had horns."

		"I'm telling you, we do not.  If you do not believe me, take a look," he says, gesturing towards his head.

		You pause a moment, considering this offer.
		*if discretion > 60
			"Very well, I shall."  Reaching forward, you take a hold of his head, seeking evidence of any devilry.  It seems, however, that he is speaking the truth.

			The room goes quiet at this display but quickly returns to its normal volume once it is determined that you mean no violence.  "I trust that you are satisfied, then?"

			"Yes, thank you."

Can we just take a moment to acknowledge the fact that Lesczynski must be the one of the most patient vampires in this game? He lets the player character feel his head, looking for horns, without losing rapport. He is so patient about this in fact, that I’m not sure if he’s not supposed to lose rapport for that.

Faith or Science?

TODO No questions of faith or science?

To readers: What would you ask here about faith or science?

Maybe the character’s opinion on the theory of evolution, and how that relates to vampires?

I have to run out for the day, but I wanted to pick your brain on this:

There is a test to talk about Utopian ideals, which is supposed to be the science-y conversation. This is the series of tests:

*elseif (stlouis_enterprise = 3) or ((finance > 1) or ((technology > 1) or (anachronism > 85)))

So, if you’re involved with Futurists, if you are knowledgeable about finance or technology, or if you’re just super not-anachronistic, you get that scene.

I could add in being involved with the University (stlouis_enterprise = 7) ?

But the scene is admittedly more about socialism and the organization of society, not about evolution.

So, I can write a scene about evolution–maybe that would be the University route?–but I’m wondering what other tests would be for it. (And I also don’t want to trample too much on the Philebus dialogue.) I guess I’m saying, if I added such a convo, how do you think I slot players into one convo or the other?

(Also, these scenes are supposed to be with mortal interlocutors.)

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I think the different enterprises should be the most important factor, because I believe they have the biggest impact on what mortals the character comes into contact with. (off-screen at least)

If it’s to be more in the hands of the player, perhaps a of scene that talks about how society has changed during the time the character has been alive, and maybe in that scene you can choose what type of things you’ve payed the most attention to.

Intelligence and lore could be stats to help slot the player into different conversations too. If there is a conversation about evolution, I think a vampire with shapeshift could have some interesting ideas about the subject (that wouldn’t be kosher to talk about with a human lol).

Hope I’m not being entirely unhelpful, it’s a little hard to suggest how to get into different conversations when I don’t know the specifics about when, where and with who they are.

What factors cause Apollo to kill Dido instead of putting her to ground?
I have been playing as a Republican (pro-Union in the first game) Yankee man (with an interest in tech and the arts), who has enough Creativity and Charm to put together nice parties for the other vampires, and also reunites Apollo with his daughter, and then non-lethally drives Wilson out of Memphis. Sometimes I get killed by Apollo when I snap at him for killing Dido, other times I get to leave Memphis alive (and am warmly welcomed by Sen. Bailey).

@jasonstevanhill
Samantha Withers still offers me a debt when I write to her about having dealt with Wilson non-lethally. I feel like this is a bug.

The you keep Dido alive is by doing horrible things so Apollo doesn’t have to. This is most-evident in the situation where you gather vessels for the party for Apollo. There are a few other things that affect the tracker as well.

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Found some more things.

Pagan invoking god

“Enough of this. We have heard these arguments before. We cannot wait for others to give us our freedom; we must take it for ourselves.”

“You are eloquent for a slave.”

“I was educated alongside Badeau fils for the first few years of my life. Badeau père did not realize the fire that he sparked when he allowed for me to learn to read. Once I began learning about the world beyond the peal of the bells of the Red Church, I could not stop.”

“I am afraid that you will never see that world, Endymion.”

“The die is cast. There is nothing more that can be done.”

"May God have mercy on your soul." At that, Endymion and his band take their leave of you.

Is that something a pagan would say?

Possible continuity error

He is powerless to resist your charms and follows you into the cottonfield behind the home of M. Mayeux.

In the midst of your lovemaking, you sink your teeth into the soft flesh of his inner thigh. He moans with pleasure, and you drink your fill. When you are satisfied, you leave him to sleep, and return to your resting-place.

Shouldn’t the character learn here that their parts don’t work?

Possible idea_for_cult error and spelling errors

A few nights later, Anselm brings you before le Breton. “Mlle. Okshakla, I don’t believe we’ve met, but your reputation precedes you.”

“No, Father, I dare say we haven’t.”

“My name is Père Jean-Théodule le Breton. You too are a newcomer here?”

“A few years, yes.”

“I see. I also see that the people of the parish cower before you.”

“As they should.”

“As they should?” He exclaims in surprise.

Debug for Mara: St. Charles Rapport: 41

  1. "But of course. I am their lord."
  2. "But of course. I am their god."
  3. “Well, yes, I am good to them, and they are good to me in turn.”

My character went to Karlstein right after separating from West, I don’t think it’s possible to have the idea for a cult at that point in time for that character. Also shouldn’t lord and god be capitalized here?

Impossible stealth check?

*if stealth > 3
*set saintcharles_rapport %-10
*set compassion %+5
Fortunately for you, you are able to disguise your appearance with your powers of stealth. Because of this, the community is terribly confused as to why Mme. Kohln is seen stealing building materials from a neighboring farm. The parish citizens still have an uneasy feeling that you had something to do with this.

I think the maximum stealth you can have at this point in time is 3.

Continuity error

Your maker also teaches you the basics of immortality. He instills in you Three Rules, of Reserve, Respect, and Restraint: don’t get caught (by the mortals), don’t interfere with another vampire’s territory, and don’t kill another vampire. He tells you of the Society, the community of vampires that rely on these Rules to keep themselves from falling at each other’s throats like the beasts they are. The Society gathers at the courts of its governors and their representatives, who are known as quaestors. “Beware of Governor Overstreet of Savannah. She is a snake, always watching for the opportunity to strike.”

Continuity error, West teaches the player character what a quaestor is. But later the character wonders what a quaestor is in Karlstein. Below is the character wondering what a quaestor is:

Character wondering what a quaestor is

On behalf of Heer Van der Ahe, I request your presence tomorrow evening at the parish courthouse. The Quaestor of New Orleans desires to establish contact with his neighbor. Those of our kind who are proximate to one another ought to be in formal contact.

Regards,
Jesse Whitaker

Heer Van der Ahe? What is a quaestor? What is the meaning of this?

How do you respond to this letter?

Name error and time travel

Vampire Name: Naniya Okshakla
Of course, that was not your original name. During your life, you were known as Naniya.
Dominus: West
Choice of Prey: Itinerants
Final Income: 1
Final Wealth: 10500

You had yet to take a real stand on the matter of Consul Stone’s revolution.

The name of your dominus was West. He is still alive, and he probably shed a tear for your loss.

Jesse Whitaker was not your broodmate. You were not well-acquainted.

But you didn’t spend all your time in Memphis searching for Anselm.

You were killed by a vampire.

Death screen containing some errors. I never changed my name, I was always known as Naniya. I was killed by Calkins at the depot, I spent no time at all in Memphis.

Weird slave event suggestion

The locals seem to pay little mind to the Engel’s new tenant farmer.

You are, however, mildly discomforted by the appearance one Sunday of a motley collection of slaves from the nearby plantations.

They gather, bearing scraps of wood and crude tools, and begin building you a proper house.

They seem to be doing this of their own free will, but you cannot fathom why. Their owners must be oblivious to the matter, as no one comes calling demanding payment for their labor; since you receive a proper croft out of the deal, you elect to sit back and let them work.

The slaves return the following Sunday, and the Sunday after that, working until your new home is complete.

The weirdness of the slaves building you a house at no cost out of their free will sounds like something the player character should ask another vampire about some time.

Illiteracy inconsistency

The foreman bows and scrapes as you write a letter to the owner of the general store, authorizing the foreman to draw upon your account.

The expansion to the house is soon finished. Eventually, it is completed to your satisfaction. Before you stands a proper home for a vampire.

Illiterate character writing a letter.

Missing sentence

"How dare you?"

"I’m sorry?"

"How dare you ask that of me?"

“It is an honest question. It is almost as though you want no one to win.”

“You are wasting my time with these insinuations, Mr. Engels. Now, if you will excuse me,” he says, trying to escape your presence.

“By all means,” you say with a magnanimous sweep of your hand.

As the dawn approaches, it becomes clear that the gathered Senators are at an impasse. The three candidates would all have to crane their necks to look each other in the eye, yet the tension between them is tangible nonetheless. The candidates are not the only frustrated ones; the Senators stalk through the room, snapping at each other, just waiting for the least excuse to bare their fangs and sink them into the throats of their rivals.

I think there is a sentence missing between “I’m sorry?” and “How dare you ask that of me?”.

Illiteracy inconsistency 2

It was during the early volleys of the Barnum and Thompson affair that you first noticed her. Her writings in the Daily Appeal during the winter were clear and concise, calling for the equal treatment of white and colored teachers. When her writing turned to an emotional appeal, however, her words evoked the lives and tribulations of her subjects; the portraits of injustice that she painted with her words moved even you to weep.

The letters are signed with a pseudonym: Clotho. And though your heart still aches from the loss of Silas, the words of this Clotho leap off the page at you, tugging at the desiccated remains of your heart. There is a trial tonight: Mrs. Thompson’s competency as a teacher is being decided by the Memphis School Board. Despite the January cold, you suspect that this Clotho will attend.

Illiterate character reading the newspaper.

Illiteracy inconsistency 3

Conveniently, the Missouri Republican offers an extended exegesis on the parade the next day. In it, you read how the thirteen tableaux meandered through the city along roads illuminated by torchlight. They represented the virtues of civilized man and the triumph of those virtues over the impediments to history: industry, temperance, innovation, and cleanliness beat back the forces of savage Indians, decadent Turks, drunkards, and striking laborers. Each of the tableaux are described in detail, including an explanation of the various symbols and allegories used.

Illiterate character reading the newspaper again.

Continuity error 2

Since you are not contributing to the preparations for the reception, you have some time to direct you attentions to other purposes.

  1. TODO Sell Bonds?
  2. It’s time to invest my money in some ventures; I don’t want to lose my capital in another bank failure.
  3. I continue my search for Wilson.

On the previous page Carothers asked my character if he would be preparing the vessels again, to which he answered yes in exchange for a debt.

Small suggestion

“Sabine was just catching me up on the news from Jefferson City. The current legislature is a nightmare.”

“I suppose it is less of a disaster than the Senate,” she says sotto voce. “But I cannot argue with your conclusion,” she finishes at a normal volume.

Before you can engage further, you realize that Memeskia has arrived. His ability to enter and leave a room without noise or fanfare reminds you of your maker.

This sounds like something that could remind the character of Wallace Winters, not just West.

No selectable options

“Who will handle the widow?” Eliot inquires.

“Do you think we could frame the James-Younger Gang for it? Aren’t they criminals?” Aichinger asks.

Eliot tries not to let his bemusement show. “No, no one would believe it. The James brothers would never kill homesteaders like this.”

When I came to this screen I had no options. They weren’t greyed out, they weren’t appearing at all.

@jasonstevanhill


I think “Pickering” should be replaced by “Partridge” here.

Nope. Fixed.

Sure. Updated.

By saying these things, you get the idea for the cult.

And no, the capitalization is correct.

Yeah, that’s still the thing I do, writing impossibilities into the game, in case I make it possible later.

You’re totally right. Fixed.

You know, I haven’t touched that file in years. I’m really inclined to just cut it.

That’s an interesting thought which I hadn’t considered before.

Fixed.

No. Maybe “he repeats” would help clarify things?

Fixed.

Fixed.

Done.

That sucks, I’m sorry. I don’t know why that is. I’ve removed the *selectable_if on one of those choices, so there should be at least two #options for everyone.

Wow, yes, fixed!

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Found some more things.

To pry or ply for details

Withers is all aflutter over your encounter with the stranger. She plies you for details about the strange vampire, details which you do your best to downplay. She seems disappointed that you did not offer to arrange an introduction.

When the conversation turns to Silas, Withers is devastated to hear of his loss. She makes an almost human-like effort to console you.

I’m pretty sure she is prying for details, not plying.

Beyond my comprehension

Aichinger and Bailey both look at you. What should they expect, though, of one who has so shirked the customs of the Society?

Thinking it best to change the subject, you cast about for a new topic. “Are there any others of our kind in the city?” you inquire.

Bailey and Aichinger look at one another. “Yes…well, after a fashion. Sabine Bécard resides in Jefferson City, but she is considered a part of Memeskia’s court,” Bailey answers. “She is the offspring of the Quaestor.”

You try to disguise your shock. “A broodmate and their offspring? My family has grown behind my comprehension in the course of a few minutes!”

“Quite,” replies Aichinger.

I think it’s supposed to be “beyond”, behind doesn’t make much sense.

Missing word

After a moment’s pause, Bailey intervenes. “What can we do? Until he establishes a more sustained pattern…”

“The absence of Praetor Miele is unfortunate. He had experience with these matters.”

“Are there no skilled beast-hunters in the Americas?” Aichinger asks.

“West,” Memeskia replies.

“West was a beast-hunter?” Eliot exclaims. “That means, he knows…”

Memeskia nods; Eliot leaves the rest of the sentence hanging.

  1. “If he is a beast, let use bait to draw him out.”
  2. “We could enlist the mortals—distribute posters and other notices to turn the public into eyes and ears.”
  3. “I urge discretion. Let him continue until he is at our doorstep.”
  4. “He is my responsibility. I will bring him to heel.”

Let us use, or let’s use.

Hiram's sire's head

“I helped liberate it from the Turks. Ninety years ago, St. Louis was even more of solitary outpost in the wilds than it is today. Seeking adventure, I went down the Mississippi and signed on with a merchantman. But then the Greek War of Independence broke out. I had always admired the Greek people, even if they are only a shadow of what they once were. So I signed on with the revolutionaries when we put in at Milazzo.”

“Did you see many battles?”

“Several. They even developed a certain affection for me, even giving me a British redcoat…despite my being a Yankee.” He smiles at the memory.

You look back down at the article, as something else has caught your eye. “His head?” you exclaim.

Hiram doesn’t mention his sire’s head if you’re literate.

Ferdinand de Villanueva e Itamaraca

When you arrive, Bailey is already here. He is trying to smother his pleasure. “I have some important news from Senator Partridge.”

“Oh?”

“With the sinking of the Maine, it seems that the United States will finally be drawn into Cuban revolution. I suspect that Quaestor al-Baqa is not long for this world. I’m given to understand that Sr. Villanueva is somehow involved; perhaps you’ve heard of him?”

“No, I don’t believe so.”

“Sr. Ferdinand de Villanueva e Itamaraca was a pirate during his life and even in his death. He was responsible for Jean Lafitte joining Andrew Jackson at the Battle of New Orleans; it is unfortuante that you did not meet him there. Regardless, it is rumored that he is involved with the revolutionaries in Cuba.”

His given name is Fernando, not Ferdinand.

Illiteracy inconsistency
*if creation > 0
	#I sit down and try to put the sorrows of the city into words.
		*set compassion %-10
		*if creation >= 3
			*achieve memphispoem
			*set memorial_poem_memphis true
			You take your time, choosing each word judiciously.  It takes weeks, but you have the time to spare.

			When you are finished, you are confident that it is a masterpiece.
			*goto test_merodach
		*else
			**You do your best to put quill to paper,** but when all is said and done, you must admit it is altogether unworthy.

			Maybe someday your skills as a poet will be sufficient to express the longing in your heart.
			*goto test_merodach

Illiterate character writing.

Nitpicky several

With little in the way of assets to your name, taking on a new name is no great challenge. You have just moved to St. Louis; there are few to gainsay you here. A few documents forged and you are prepared for your new existence.

The time has come for you to hire a new valet. Several candidates present themselves.

  1. George, a freedman, born here in St. Louis.
  2. Maeve, an Irishwoman, recently arrived from Cork.
  3. Ernst, a former Union soldier from Pennsylvania.

Several is defined as being more than two, but less than many. If you have the Scotch ethnicity there are only two candidates, ergo not several. I feel really nitpicky pointing that out. lol

Spelling mistake

“Most of these people came from the various German states after the 1848 Uprisings, yes? They fought for freedom and liberty. They sought to pull down the capitalist and feudalist structures that were improverishing them. And they were defeated. Even now, the Kaiser solidifies his grip on German Empire. When they die, the multitude of those traditions will die with them.”

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re after,” you reply.

“What I mean is this: What does it mean to live forever? Is that something I even want to do? Is that something you want to do? Is that something we should want to do, if our existence impedes the future?”

Should be impoverishing.

Spelling mistake 2

“You do? But why? You will see everything that you love age and die. Everything that you know will change. The world will pass you by while you remain the same. How can you stand it?”

  1. “I will bring those that I love with me.”
  2. “I am content being alone. I need no one else.”
  3. “I want to see what happens. I want to live a thousands lives, never the same one twice.”

Should be “thousand”.

Missing word 2

Inside, the fortune-teller sits at a small table, wrapped in a silk dress and an ornate headwrap that drips with jewels. Her eyes are lined with kohl and she stares intently at the cards on the table before her. “Please, sit down,” she says, gesturing at the chair across the table from her. “You come seeking knowledge of your future, yes?” Her accent is thick, presumably Eastern European in origin. “I am Lady Sosostris. I will peer into your future, and tell you what awaits you there.” She moves stiffly and has the features of a woman in her fifties.

She gathers the cards and shuffles them together, and then invites you to cut the deck, which you do. The two of you continue to talk while she shuffles further.

“Lady Sosostris. Such a curious name. How did you come by it?”

She seems unwilling to speak at first, but smile and push some of your magnetism through it. “It came to me in a dream,” she says, the words exploding from her mouth.

“A dream?”

I think there should be a “you” between but and smile.

I was wondering something. There are several times where it’s stated what the newspapers and stuff say, but doesn’t explicitly state whether you are reading or having the newspaper read for you. Should I assume that they are being read out loud to illiterate characters without it being specified?

@bikkje (and, well, anyone else) I want to know who your favorite characters to play are, and why. Which storylines do you like the most, and do you want to see more of?

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