Children of Iseir Book One: Born under a Blood Moon (WIP) [Update 5/27/24 102K words]

Yeah i mean the chapter 1 little bit too long i always think it’s still prologue (don’t worry i understand you want to give detail as much as possible so :+1:t2:). Maybe what i can suggest is more choice that have consequences for the character because well we still baby in this chapter. Stay healthy

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**:tada:Update 5/27/2024 ** :tada:

Hey Everyone!

I’ve pushed the latest update to Dashingdon and the new CoGDemos site. This update adds four new scenes, the last being rather long, which is the ambush scene alluded to earlier in the story. In all this latest update, about 32K words were added. For those of you who have been checking in, you’ve probably heard that I had an issue with my computer and ended up losing a lot of my world-building and character information, which I’m slowly starting to rebuild as I write. But that little road bump hindered my progress in writing. I have been keeping track of all the feedback you’ve been kind enough to give me, and have remembered all of it. I plan to rework the entire story in the revision stage and will likely cut, cut, cut. Which will be easier to do than add stuff later. As always, I am grateful for any feedback you may have, and if you notice errors, typos, or discrepancies or have some story ideas or thoughts, it makes my day when I hear from you all. Thank you for hanging in there, and I hope you enjoy your time in Iseir.


PS The ambush scene turned into a fairly complicated (for me at least) scene, and while I’ve done some testing, I would appreciate it if you found something that doesn’t seem right and let me know. Thanks a ton!


Cool let’s get started.
Should I do it from the start or loading old save will do?

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i just finished playing the update, loved the ambush part, and us controlling the side characters during those scenes was an unexpected but welcome surprise, i do wish that our own character has more to do eventually but it’s understandable since we’re still a toddler

(spoiler for the update)PS, should i have saved that female vanir warrior, or was stopping the fleeing altim soldier better?

all in all, great update, cant wait for the next one, and i’m starting to wonder if perhaps (spoiler for the update)we’re gonna have to fight our brother when we grow up since he’s going to become an altim, maybe that’s a part of some subplot


I’m not sure if a save will work. I believe I changed some variables with this update, and while I’m not completely positive about this, I think doing that breaks saves.

Really wish our MC would have some more agency and more choices. This doesnt really feel like an IF and more like a personality study.


I get the desire for the MC to be ‘doing stuff.’ That’s the thing I worry about the most with the storyline. I’d always read that when writing a story you should start ‘In medias res’ or in the middle. But I’ve always loved games that allowed me to really embody the character I was controlling, I figured that to do that thoroughly, I’d need to start at the beginning. However, that does add some difficulty in keeping the tension up, weaving believable moments when your MC as an infant is impacting the world and the characters around them. So, that leads to having other characters hold up the storyline a bit until your MC can take over and run with it. Still, you need three-dimensional supporting characters that readers will care about, which take time to create and flesh out in the story. So, yeah, I see why they tell you to start in the middle.

As far as your MC impacting the story world, did you realize that in the earlier scene where the grownups are planning the ambush, the MC can directly impact the outcome of the ambush? Was that clear? I don’t like to come out and say that in narrative, but I also didn’t want that fact to be too subtle. Also, every choice within the ambush matters to the story later. I don’t want to spoil the story, but it’s clear the MC becomes part of the rebellion by the story’s end. The status of the Altim and rebel forces can be directly impacted throughout the MC’s life growing up, and that will directly affect their story.


Thanks for the feedback! What do you mean? What would make it feel like you had more agency and make it more of an IF feeling? I’m determined to create a story that others will enjoy, so if I can, I’d love to hear specific things I can do to improve it.

honestly, i love what you’re with the game right now, even though our character cant do much, the side characters have been so good that i dont think anyone would mind it, and you did a great job making us care about the supporting characters, especially the MC’s family

as for starting in the middle, i dont think that applies here, even though our MC cant do much, this part has been great at building up the supporting characters and informing us about the lore in a very immersive way (i still love the bully fight scene though)

i’m gonna have to replay the game now, i’d love to try it out through multiple paths so that i see what i missed while waiting for the next update, i didnt realize the MC can directly impact the ambush though, might’ve missed it

all in all, this is one of the best WIPs right now and i can only wait for it to be released, what’s with this year and having absolutely amazing WIPs?


My favorite part of the story, at the moment. Just wondering how much, if any, xp did party get?


That’s hilarious! I’m glad you liked that scene, it was a ton of fun to write, but somehow writing the rounds and filling out enough unique narratives started to make my head spin. That scene in particular builds out some of the MC’s stats and if you win allows you to choose an additional point to allocate, as well as tweaks your relationship with some of the characters that will form your core group of companions and potential ROs.


I wonder if the MC can just tell the rebellion and the Altim people to screw themselves and live far away from them :thinking:

It’s seems like the MC is somehow forced to join the rebellion

This wip is quite good!

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They won’t go easy, but the case to do something will be compelling.

And, there are ‘guardrails’ in place that prevent them from removing themselves from the conflict completely, which we haven’t been introduced to yet.

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On attack_choice, the initial attack always fail. The ambush level is 4 and I always ensure that altim_awareness doesn’t raise. No matter whether I choose to do initial charge or continuous volley, or whether I target the officer, carts, or crossbowmen, the attack keeps failing.

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Thanks for the heads-up. You don’t happen to have a screenshot just so I can see what narrative you are getting, do you?

You were right with this one. I had missed an entire block of code for the level 4 ambush, making the attack fail every time. I’ve since pushed an update to fix that issue, along with some formatting changes with that scene that will hopefully make everything much easier to read. You’re getting a mention on my acknowledgments page for that one. Thanks so much!

Oh, no way. :0 I genuinely hadn’t noticed that the MC’s actions made that much of a difference.

I made sure to stay as quiet as possible during the ambush planning scene, then spit-up on that dude afterwards. XD Later on in the actual ambush scene, we were able to stay relatively undetected. The Altim soldiers were just super paranoid. Was any of that influenced by how my ambush planning scene went?


Man author really like that snowball effect hmm, just small nudge and it could determine the outcome.

All mc did was cry during the search to prevent disaster.

Is the young rebel always get captured in the end of ambush or that can be changed?

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Yep, In the scene after the naming ceremony, the family back home gets some surprise guests. Arne Pihl, the Malmirs, and young Gisla arrive, and the adults begin planning the ambush. Her and the MC are in the cradle together and Gisla begins tormenting the MC, the MC must endure her abuse and potentially lose stats through injury to not interrupt the planning of the ambush to achieve the highest level of ambush preparedness. The levels of preparedness directly impact the chance of success in the ambush. This helps set up the rebels during future fights with the Altim.

Which leads me to this question. Would readers prefer an explicit explanation of the outcomes of their choices? Maybe, not an explanation of ‘If you choose this option, in four scenes this will happen,’ but rather ‘Narrative for choice picked (Mind +1)’ or ‘Narrative for choice picked (Relationship with Gisla -10)’ Currently, I’m embracing a purely narrative approach, intentionally trying to keep these things subtle and behind the scenes, but is that what everyone wants?


Currently, Kjell always gets captured. I’ve been seriously thinking of reworking that so Kjell doesn’t get captured at the highest level of success during the ambush. The details of his capture set up a final scene before the end of chapter one and the MC’s first year of life, but it wasn’t the original scene I had outlined. As I typed this, I came up with an idea for that alternative final scene. Need to write this down!


Ohh, I didn’t realize you were referring to the Gisla scene. I pushed her back during that, which apparently increased their friendship. So I stuck with that choice. Although, it did obviously interrupt their planning. My MC was super quiet when the Altim guys visited, though.

I never would have guessed choosing what feels like small, inconsequential options as a baby, and how they react to their surroundings, would influence such important plot points later on in the story. Though, to be honest, I’m not sure how to subtly hint how important these choices will be without breaking the immersion of the story. I just know that, the way it’s currently written, I would never had known.

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