Camp B9-42: Cursed History (WIP) (CHAPTER 2 OUT) (28/11/18)

adult-fiction
science-fiction
gender-choice

#41

No worries.

Hope to read more from you :slight_smile:


#42


Got hanged here


#43

The story, albeit a bit short, was an enjoyable read, and the concept by itself has got me wanting for more. I’m rather hyped for the next release!

Some Typos

“Look even if I wanted to stay you know I can’t. The President himself has signed this, and * I don’t show up, they will come here Mary and take away everything.” Your father argued calmly, his voice hollow.

I think there should be an ‘if’ in between and and I where the asterisk is.

The first guard to reach you grabs your arms and restrains you from any movement, whilst the others take turns jabbing you with there crow prods.

their

As soon as you’re sitting upright, she resumes wiping away the blood It’s then you start to notice her features.

There should be a period before the italicised word.


#44

For some reason chapter 2 will not load.


#45

Suggestion: In the beginning when we help Lucy I feel like there should be a choice whether to intervene or not


#46

I consider adding an option like this in the story, but seeing as this was the beginning of the story I thought everyone kinda needed the chance to meet Lucy


#47

Also the mc is meant to be more the hero type but I’ll consider adding it back beacuse it does offer the player a choice at the type of person they wanna be.


#48

Yeah thats what I was thinking…like if u want the MC to meet lucy maybe give other options on how to handle it…like maybe talk it out …or do something indirect to distract the guard…orrr if we choose to be a dick and ignore her…you could use Elliot to intervene thus giving us the opportunity to meet her, but instead we won’t really have a relationship with her…hella options just think on it


#49

I think I will be first person die first in camp b9 42


#50

It was Samuel lol


#51

:joy::joy::joy::joy::joy::joy:


#52

Sooooooooooo, I don’t want to be “that person”, but I couldn’t help but notice that the guy with the gun (after hitting the MC with it) starts referring to the MC as a “he”…


#53

My bad, I’ll check over it and clear that up.


#54

I’ve the same exact problem…


closed #56

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