Bloodline Requiem (WIP)

What I updated: Added more lore


Veilfall: Bloodline Requiem

Plot:

In the shadow-cloaked realm of Veilfall, ancient prophecies are coming to life as the veil between the supernatural and the mundane frays. The legendary Ecliptic Amulet holds the key to unimaginable power and the fate of all factions—human, vampire, werewolf, and the mysterious Forsaken. The quest for the scattered amulet pieces ignites a war fueled by age-old enmities and insatiable bloodlust.

As a newcomer to Veilfall, your bloodline or allegiance is a blank slate. Will you align with the noble Varkyrs and uphold the aristocratic bloodline hierarchy, or will you roam with the Lupines, where your rank is earned with claw and fang under the moon’s eerie glow? Or perhaps the enigmatic Forsaken will allure you with their unconventional mastery over blood and rage.

Journey through dark forests, ancient ruins, and the ever-changing landscapes of Veilfall as you forge alliances, make bitter enemies and unearth the lost lore of the realm. Your decisions will shape the course of battles, the resonance of your relationships, and the final stand in the ongoing war for control over the veil’s mystical threshold.

As destinies entwine and the night unveils its concealed daggers, will you seize the power to rewrite the realm’s fate or become a pawn in a much larger, terrifying game? Venture into Veilfall, where every choice ripens with peril, and the ancient echos of prophecy await your arrival.

Demo(Updated 11/11/2023):
https://dashingdon.com/go/14808

33 Likes

Can somebody please change this title to a WIP thread to make it clearer?

3 Likes

U need to tell us a bit about what the story is about

10 Likes

Starts with a choice of who to ally with, without it even given info about them, and then it just ends.

8 Likes

I read the little starting chapter, and I think it has potential. I would just recommend a few things:

  1. Your post should include more information. There are plenty of people who would be interested in your story that don’t read it because they don’t have the proper information. You don’t need to go into spoilers to do this. You should give a basic plot synopsis (what am I reading?), what IF mechanics can we expect (gender choice? Romance? Skill checks?), and who are the characters (important characters, ROs, etc).

  2. The story in its current state starts very suddenly. Which can be a fun way of doing it, but only if you give some information along the way. Why are these groups fighting? Who even are these groups? Why am I getting involved? Why does my involvement change anything? Who even am I?

  3. I recommend Grammarly to everyone. It’s a free, online program that helps you find spelling and grammar errors. All you have to do is copy and paste what you write. And it doesn’t fix anything automatically, so you can decide if you actually like it better the original way

12 Likes

i mean the cover art is most definitely cool but after you choose your side you cant progress.

Intriguing couple of sentences but without context I have no idea what to look for and after the first choice I am unable to continue, I strongly suggest reformatting your original post to give a general overview of the type of game you’re trying to make, maybe some background, explaining the allies mentioned in the first choice, etc.
It’s much easier to provide constructive criticism if we have an idea of what you’re actually trying to do with your story (horror, swashbuckling adventure, urban fantasy with a dark twist, etc) as well as once you have more than the very beginning of what seems to be a prologue

2 Likes

I don’t know how to edit my post, but this is an updated version.

Veilfall: Bloodline Requiem

Plot:

In the shadow-cloaked realm of Veilfall, ancient prophecies are coming to life as the veil between the supernatural and the mundane frays. The legendary Ecliptic Amulet holds the key to unimaginable power and the fate of all factions—human, vampire, werewolf, and the mysterious Forsaken. The quest for the scattered amulet pieces ignites a war fueled by age-old enmities and insatiable bloodlust.

As a newcomer to Veilfall, your bloodline or allegiance is a blank slate. Will you align with the noble Varkyrs and uphold the aristocratic bloodline hierarchy, or will you roam with the Lupines, where your rank is earned with claw and fang under the moon’s eerie glow? Or perhaps the enigmatic Forsaken will allure you with their unconventional mastery over blood and rage.

Journey through dark forests, ancient ruins, and the ever-changing landscapes of Veilfall as you forge alliances, make bitter enemies and unearth the lost lore of the realm. Your decisions will shape the course of battles, the resonance of your relationships, and the final stand in the ongoing war for control over the veil’s mystical threshold.

As destinies entwine and the night unveils its concealed daggers, will you seize the power to rewrite the realm’s fate or become a pawn in a much larger, terrifying game? Venture into Veilfall, where every choice ripens with peril, and the ancient echos of prophecy await your arrival.

Demo(Work in progress):
https://dashingdon.com/go/14808

I have three acts for the game:

Act 1: The Artifact Quest

Introduction:

  • Unveil the legend of the “Ecliptic Amulet” and its power over the veil between realms.
  • Present the player with hints about the locations of the artifact pieces and the factions vying for control.

Main Quests:

  • Retrieve the artifacts from various locations like Mirror Lake, ancient ruins, and hidden vaults within Veilfall.
  • Establish alliances or rivalries with other factions based on the player’s choices and actions.

Challenges:

  • Solving riddles, battling guardians, and making moral decisions regarding using the artifact.

Climax:

  • Decision point: Choose to use the artifact to open or strengthen the veil, each choice having distinct consequences.

Act 2: The Faction War

Introduction:

  • Reveal the implications of the player’s choice from Act 1 on the city’s supernatural and human populations.

Main Quests:

  • Navigating the escalating conflict among factions, which could include battles, espionage, and diplomacy.
  • Attempt to broker peace or decide to support one faction over others in the war.

Challenges:

  • Defending against attacks, gathering resources, and making strategic decisions.

Climax:

  • A significant battle or event that significantly shifts the power dynamics in Veilfall.

Act 3: Reconstruction and Kingdom-Building

Introduction:

  • Assessing the aftermath of the war and the state of the player’s faction.

Main Quests:

  • Rebuilding and strengthening the player’s faction could involve recruiting allies, constructing buildings, and securing resources.
  • Addressing lingering threats or unresolved issues from the previous acts.

Challenges:

  • Managing resources, resolving disputes, and facing threats from still-hostile factions or new emerging threats.

Climax:

  • A final challenge or threat that tests the strength and unity of the player’s faction.

Resolution:

  • Reflecting on the player’s journey, the changes made, and the resulting state of Veilfall and its factions.

This is what I have so far. Sorry for the lack of info.

In Act 2, I will try to flesh out different romance options for the different factions. Three males and three females.

8 Likes

So, I got through the selection of factions and it gets stuck loading,…

2 Likes

same i select a faction and nothing happens after only a stuck loading screen

1 Like

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