Beta testing - The Black Vein

Looking for beta testers for a post-apocalyptic interactive novel - blah blah, you all know the drill. I’ve got another post up for a similar game - same genre and universe, different plot and setting.

I’d ideally like two types of feedback: little stuff like typos, misgenderings, and grammatical errors; and big stuff like plot holes, character inconsistencies, or major glitches (ie a character returns from the dead)

A summary: The world has ended in atomic flame. You are a lone warrior, trying to survive in the wasteland of Philly. Your latest task is simple: confirm the existence of a coal deposit in an abandoned village. But nothing is easy as it seems in a wasteland. Expect mutant monsters, slavers, and people hell-bent on bringing back civilization, whether or not you like it.

A link:

Hope I did this right? If not let me know please.

Edit: Anyone who wants to test is allowed to, and is encouraged to. Please follow the dashingdon link to the game, it should also link to an email where you can send me your comments


2 different books from the same? sequel? same universe but different stories?

Same universe but unrelated stories. I’ll put that in

I want to beta test both games of that’s allowed?

I’m available to beta test during my break for either game

I haven’t reached the end or at least the part of your email, but i’ve come across a problem. I don’t know how to add pictures (I’m still rather new to all this)

The part where Amos says you’re a threat to the community I chose the option " I don’t wanna cause trouble" and got a pop up error saying 2-dutchmill line 132:non-existent command ‘snd’
Oh and in the second page “A hand his placed over your mouth” I think that’s supposed to be is placed over your mouth

1 Like

Hey thanks, I’ve corrected the glitch and uploaded new files

@Michael_Meillarec During the scene where Dwide goes and asks Gideon’s grandma if she saw the gun, the grandma asks Dwide how his wife is, and he says she’s ok. The problem I found is, he called his wife Miriam, when her name is actually Noel…

1 Like

Interesting one. Liking it!

Already starting out, not loving the lack of name choice, also there feels like a bit too much of, but thou must. To elaborate, the game just feels like go to x place, do a quest whether you like it or not, rinse and repeat. It also doesn’t help that there are several places where it feels like the choices are arbitrarily limited e.g what town should the girl go to, how about, I don’t care? or when the Allen republic fights the daughters of liberty why not have the option of letting those two idiots fight it out, I will be sitting on the sidelines downing a brewski.

1 Like

Just played the first few chapters of this game. Really enjoying it so far. Going from place to place and meeting so many different characters gives a really fun sense of adventure to the player. I also really like the quotations at the beginning of every chapter. They give a really clear idea of what kind of place the world has become. :blush:

I have noticed a few minor errors along the way (so far, all in the Amish village.) Like @War_Doctor said, the wife’s name keeps changing from Noel to Miriam. Other than that, I found these:

The furniture itself is clealy handmaid and artfully crafted with long, sloping legs and fanciful carvings
That should be clearly and handmade

“So, you went outside town without an adult, you took Hilty with you, and you lost lied about it,”
The word lost shouldn’t be there.

“Look, I know you’re just trying to get out of her. You just show me where you need to go, and I’ll give you a ride.”

The you hear a deadly sound. The sound of buzzing, and wings flapping.

That’s all I could find so far. I’ll let you know if I find anything else. :grin:

Edit: Found a couple in the next chapter:

She might be walking to ber bed for a well-deserved nap, not preparing to fight deadly beasts.

This is why Buzzers were to quick to terrorize the wastes.

Then the chapter after:

This is how the merchant becomes a pandhandler and a whore becomes the empress.

The cieling rises above and sunlight slips in through slanted windows, and you can’t even see the other side of the bazaar.

She stars daggers at you, her eyes a crystalline glass.

I am the last Amazons - the last one who matters, anyway.
Should be either, I am the last Amazon or I am the last of the Amazons

Anyway,if they cause any trouble, let me know.
Needs a space between the comma and if.

A single staircase resides at the end of the room, made of the same steal as the walls.

She’s a surprisingly old woman for a grunt soldier. Not old, exactly, but older than the others by at least a decayed.

Prisoner are locked into them, hunched over, dirty and bloodied and gagged so their cries do not disturb their captors.

“Aww, we’ll neve find someone to kill her for us.”

When it comes to war, kill a wole lotta them for me.

How do we know that we cna trust you to maintain this alliance?

Some looks like they were infected, and still show the scars of festering.

Very well put together game. Obviously reminds me a lot of Fallout, but this seems more character focused which I really like.
One question, are you planning on adding romances into the game? It seems like with the development of so many characters you could.


This topic was automatically closed 91 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.