A mistake.
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Fixed. Check again
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Hi Sambit,
Love your work and your amazing story, do you have Patreon so we can subscribe to you?
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Thank you so much for your support. I haven’t made a Patreon yet because the story is still in it’s infancy, I may in future.
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Thank you!
It’s interesting, and the concept is great! There are a lot of typos, however, especially with capitalization. It makes it hard to read and follow sometimes. There also are not really many choices for your actual input? I am fine with having a more set character, but it feels inconsistent, especially with the choices you do provide. Having more input would improve the story greatly, imo. Another issue is at times it feels, bloated? Or over descriptive, a few times you describe a place multiple times when one would work fine. A tip that really improved my writing is if what you write is removed, and the story still makes sense and reads the same way, you can cut the extra. Another thing is, you tell more than you show. It makes the story feel more dry and clinical, almost like a non-fiction. Work more on immersing the player in the scene rather than just describing it flat. A big issue related to that is often it feels like the MC is being told what they think, rather than feel like actual thoughts they are having.
More ability to customize your character would be nice. What color hair do I have? My skin tone? What do I like to wear? Stuff like that, What do the stats even do? Most of the choices do not even affect them
Your character work is great, they feel real and fleshed out so far, especially the basketball scene. It’s for sure one of your strongest areas
Sorry if my critique feels particularly brutal, but I really do think it has potential. The lore, theme and world are creative and intriguing, it’s just the writing that needs to be improved to really bring your vision to light, and I do think you can do that if you can polish the rough edges. Especially since your writing did get better and better as the story progressed.
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Thank you so much for the feedback. Regarding the stats, I’m planning to remove them in the next update.
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Everyday getting closer to complete the WIP options. If everything goes well then it’ll be done by the next month.
Also, I’ve been asked many times just how powerful is Azrael and the answer is - They’re almost 30 times stronger than MCU Steve Rogers currently.
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Dude Steve Rogers is an old man in the MCU last I checked. And no, Chris Evans returning for Doomsday does not count, as that’s not out yet.
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I’m assuming they meant before he was an old man
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The fights have been so damn good.
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One step closer to finish the WIP choices from the previous options. Life has been better so far, I may just complete the update sooner than expected.
Plus got a huge idea regarding an important scene between Azrael and Anya in a hyper stylized sequence (inspired by Dhurandhar) that may just become iconic.
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Love the fight scenes from that movie,best of luck
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Hey Im not like frustrated or demanding but I do suggest you start a Patreon to help support your work! So that updates can probably come out faster and you can give more time to your writing! Just a suggestion!
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Expect the update by 1st or 2nd april. (Nothing big but all the wip options will be available alongside with a new scene)
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hopefuly not an aprill fools joke 
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New Update! (8K Words)
- WIP scenes completed
- One new scene added
Sorry guys for such a late update. these past few months were truly hectic. I’ve decided to be more active with monthly small updates if possible.
Please comment if you encounter any bugs.
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Don’t know what but i’ve been facing some constant error which keeps me from editing the post. cannot edit or upload pics in the character section
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Facing this error when trying to upload a pic or writing something even though i ain’t using the word.
can someone please help
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john’s forehead begin to drip down a line of blood but he is far too content in his wife’s arms to care as their palpable halcyon energies from them reminds you the stolen embraces with river.
Next Chapter
Found error, eternity load when about to next page
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