I haven’t played the game yet but I’ve been reading comments and I agree that picking the gender of a RO often is a bit awkward. But I find it greatly diminishes the weirdness if the character is well written and maybe even different depending on the chosen gender. Another option would be to introduce a female Npc that joins you along the way. She could function as a voice of reason or encouragement or something of the sort. Giving her an important role could give a balance/cater to those who would like a “main” female RO while allowing you to give the wolf the character you want.
AWESOME. 
Now i can get truly immersed Yesss
I’ve read the demo and I think you’ve got a real winner so far, so keep writing!
The plot sounds interesting… fun even! I’m not sure I can offer any addictions/changes to the plot since there’s so little of it to see. I think you’re writing style has a Chekhov’s Gun kind of feel to it… there’s enough to inform and engage me, but not so much that I feel clouded. Since it’s becoming such an important thing in this era, maybe add a non-binary option? Personally, I find non-binary difficult to write since you must ALWAYS use gender neutral terms. I feel like the character’s are relatively believable… even the MC. They’re wordy at a young age, but that could just be a side effect of being magic proficient. With great power, comes great responsibility; and with that responsibility, so should the knowledge of how to fulfill it. I just made up that last bit on the fly… xD
Or, maybe that could be a personality building choice? How they choose to get their sibling’s attention, and such.
Again, your writing has a Chekrov’s Gun feel to it. While some people like ‘padded’ stories with lengthy descriptions, and others like straight-cut descriptions… I can find merit in both.
1 Like
I liked what you have so far, and when you said it was short, you weren’t kidding! 
I wanted to keep reading, I got hooked quickly!
1 Like
I get the error too, but only when I say I’m playing a girl. A *goto needs to be added to the end of the block of code indented under the #Something else option for picking a girl’s name.
3 Likes
Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all your kind comments, and I’m so sorry I haven’t been active or updating lately - I have finals in a few days, but I will be back to writing shortly 
yikes, I’m sorry there seems to be an error - I will take a look and fix it for the next update. Thank you all for being so patient with me!
5 Likes
No worries, I’ve got finals coming up myself. Good luck on your finals though!
hope you get to writing soon, and if you are now finished the finals good luck on writting
1 Like
I really like it so far. I liked the little “over-protective brother” scene from Ewan 
looking forward to read more from you!
Oh, and good luck on your finals, if you still have them ;’)
1 Like
yay, this thread is now active again I can find it without endless scrolling!
Akazukin Chacha?
@halcyon I can’t choose my own name yet. I think four year old should just act without thinking? I mean, Idk, I think the actions when you’re gonna get the jar should still be the same but the words should be a little child-like. I dunno, that’s just my opinion though. Peace.
eh, I just make up names and find one right for me
Okay, maybe it’s a character that was not yet introduced proberly but who is Mira?
I just aske because it seems weird to just throw around some name, when by now we at least got some short explanation as soon as we had a new name…
Don’t really know if it was state before bu i got an error message when i want tu input my custom name:
“startup line 82: It is illegal to fall in to an *else statement; you must *goto or *finish before the end of the indented block.”
its probably just some sort of coding issue, that’s the main reason for these things
-
I like the plot; it seems very interesting so far and has a lot of potential. The only thing I can think to add at the moment is the specifics of happened to the king’s wife and child. However, it’s not all that pressing and I feel it will be revealed later.
-
Your writing style could be a little more descriptive, especially when it comes to the setting. Small details here and there would help to flesh out the world or characters, but I’m fine with it as is.
-
The characters seem believable to me. The interactions between them seem genuine and plausible.
-
I don’t have enough experience with young children to truly be of much help, but I didn’t have a problem with the way the MC was portrayed.
Other than those points, I can’t really think of anything else that someone else hasn’t mentioned.
1 Like
Actually I can think of one more, but I’m just going to drop it and leave it.