(Complete Beginner needs help) Another World WIP


#1

I’m Sophia and I just started a few weeks ago. I want to make a story but… I’m afraid if it will be a failure or something. I haven’t started. But I have an idea for the story. (Sorry for any wrong grammar)

________***
Title: Another World (Not Final)

You’re just super duper normal teenager who was transported to a world of magic. You don’t know why you’re here… But there’s one thing… You were summoned to save the world from the terrifying dark mage! So basically, you’ve become a hero. What will you do? Will you succeed saving the world? Or end up destroying it? Will you live or die? Will you stay or go back to your own world?

It’s all up to you.

There are 5 possible romances. Your childhood friend, the princess/prince, a mage, a military officer, and the dark mage.(yes you can romance the dark mage)

I need advice or suggestions. Thank you.


#2

Could you be a little specific? Like if you are having trouble with a particular idea or problem?

If you want a general idea of these games I’d recommend just playing as many as you can. I mean that’s what I did


#3

I’m still not sure about my story… I need suggestions that will make my story better. What can I add? Any advice? Is it good?


#4

Evening.

You seem to be having doubts…
Try not to feel overwhelmed by what people will tell you here.

Is romance the main focus of your story?


#5

Romance is one of the genre but I will be more focused in fantasy or action.

Thank you.


#6

Yeah it looks like you have a wide range of endings/avenues and the plot seems fine. Sounds like something I would enjoy :slight_smile:

Just a small suggestion maybe make it so that you were summoned to this world for either purpose, to either join the “white/good mage” and defeat the evil one or join the dark mage and defeat the "good mage"
It’s just my personal take


#7

Sounds good. I will be taking note of that.

Thanks.


#8

How about you can join forces with the dark mage and betray the people?


#9

Yeah that sounds cool. Just for the evil people like me who like to play darker characters :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


#10

How will you begin your story…?


#11

That I don’t know. This is my first story and just thought about it today.

But… The beginning of the story will surely start in the human world.


#12

It would be best if you start slowly…

Have you read many works from here?


#13

Magic of OZ! Is one of the best way to begin a history of alternative-world heroine.
Like that! Our “Dorothy” must be the kind of girl that struggled with the typical teen dilemmas:

1 - What i will be when i grow?

2 - why does the boys don’t like/me found on me?(Or why my boyfriend are cheating on me!)

3 - why no one invite me to the prom?

4 - why i suck in sports?..

Every choice influence the character development (status) of your Main character.

So the “Great Happening” occur and she is transported to the “Special world”.

End of first act.

For the call to quest event i suggest that you transform the dillemmas of the first act into events in the “Special world”.

Like: If no one invite her to the prom. The Prince raise a ball on her name. And she see herself became popular witing the kingdom. And she see herself become popular within the kingdom. (Act of intrigues and appearances)

If she suck on sports. The guard is dismissed from his duty because of a misunderstand. And she is the one that must be trained to became the heroine the people expect. So she can choose him to be her “coach” as a form to help him replenish his honor in the kingdom.


#14

I read WIP srories, COG and Hosted games. I’m a fan of COG by the way.


#15

Thanks @Nahim

I’ll keep that in mind


#16

You have 2 paths ahead of you.

You can carefully plan your story by branching outside of the script and learn slowly.

Or you can read examples of code first.


#17

Thanks a lot @EmptySkies.


#18

Agreed! The form of history you adopt will incide in the best branch tree you can work. For example:

If you history is rommance driven. The atributes and the development points that the main character has with her mates will lock/unlock events in the history. So will be better work in an Vairiables oriented script markers.

Also if is more adventure-like. Will be better if you work in the scenes of batle/negociation/trap/exploration before you add them to the history brach and the dialogues tree. So will be more classical *goto *gosub stile of coding.


#19

What you’ve described so far is a series of tropes.

Ordinary High School Student
Trapped In Another World
Magical Land
Evil Sorcerer
Saving The World

These are not necessarily bad, but it doesn’t tell me why I should care about your version of those tropes.

What makes your protagonist interesting?
What makes your dark mage unique?
What makes the magical world important?


#20

So there are Troper Users even here.

I enjoy reading them myself.

Somehow, I think you might have put her in the spot.

She most likely hasn’t thought that far in the story.